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Um.. I'm sorry for announcing this inbetween everything else, but-- I wanted to make sure I wouldn't do it too late so that it'd be inconvenient for other people..

[ Yes, sorry for interrupting all your talk about PSYCHENet and Trumps and love confessions and god knows what else.. at least she's keeping it in theme, okay. ]

But as some of you already heard, Toshizou and I are going to get married during this Jaunt. [ And despite somewhat natural nervousness of but whAT IF IT'S INCONVENIENT FOR EVERYONE ELSE lingering in her tone, she does sound very happy. It's not hard to tell. Just some nervous happy jitters about it still, really. ] It'll be on the 11th, so.. if you want to come, you can..! But I understand that people are busy with more important things as well, so please don't feel obligated at all..

[ .. look, maybe it's not the best announcement, but it could've been worse. It could've been Toshizou "COME OR DON'T IDGAF SHIT DAMN PISS HELL" Hijikata saying it. Instead it's just lingered with Chizuru's constant need to put her own needs fifteen miles behind everyone else's. ]

I think PSYCHENet is going to officiate it, so it could also maybe be helpful for finding out more about this Jaunt. If people are wondering about that sort of thing instead, I mean.

In either case, thank you for listening..!

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[ To say that he actually knows how to respond to this would be grossly incorrect. Not only does he not know what he would say, but he doesn't even know how to reply. Nobody's ever explained this whole "voice in your head" thing to him, and so he has absolutely no clue how it works to say something back.

It's because of that that he doesn't think to check himself before reacting, instead thinking out loud, as it were. Unfortunately, he never really intended for his attitude toward things at present to be "out loud", and as such, his tone conveys more of how he's feeling than his outward appearance has since his arrival: flat, disinterested, and hurt. ]

...Congratulations.

[ .. huh?

This is one of the responses she didn't expect to get. Not that she didn't expect Sano to pipe up, that's not it.. but it's more the tone of the voice she hears in her head. He was so kind to her when they saw each other again in Liminal Space, and now it's..

Is he in pain..? It's not even the disinterest hurting her as much as she worries at him sounding so different all of a sudden, and she immediately thinks back at him. ]

Harada-san..? Is something wrong? [ Despite the tones being mental, her own is still soaked with worry. She's not even bothering to try and be subtle. ]

[ If everyone remembers things happening differently, are they even the same person if they've experienced things differently and had to adapt to what happened to them? ... If someone settles on one person, they change. It might be slight, but they definitely change because there's a lot they have to give up and let go of, a lot they have to learn to either accept or ignore, and they aren't the same as they were before. They're words he'd said to Heisuke in Liminal Space, and now they come right back to haunt him. Heisuke had said she remembered everything differently, but a part of him hadn't wanted to believe it -had heard the words, understood their meaning, and then discarded them due to a lack of firsthand proof.

It hurts. He hadn't thought it would because he'd only been running from her at home, avoiding her because he didn't know how to face her after failing her so badly. He'd only been trying to get away from things and distance himself from an emotional response he didn't like and couldn't deal with. Now, all he wants is to put his fist through the nearest wall and let it all out in the most destructive way possible on something that can't heal itself. He did it to himself though, to be honest. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

But first, he has to try and cover his ass on this because he really hadn't expected any sort of response since he really hadn't expected her to hear something he hadn't even said aloud, just in his head. It takes effort, but he manages to shelve the flat tone, forcing even his thoughts back into his usual outward face. It doesn't do much to soothe the hurt, though, and that remains despite his best efforts to conceal it. ]

...No. [ Totally bullshit. ] I'm fine.

[ Conceal, don't feel. Dammit, he could really use an ice queen to teach him a thing or two right about now. ]

[ Even Chizuru can call bullshit on that one. Sure, she might not know the reason for why he's feeling the way he does, but it's obvious that something is wrong with Sano.

And she can't figure out what exactly. This Jaunt isn't so bad, and she thought he'd be happy with the announcement, considering he's always been happy for her when things went well..

.. is he maybe still a little more hurt from being stuck where he was for so long? From the way Heisuke described it, it didn't sound like a good place. And she doesn't know what part of her announcement made him think of it, so it's probably easier to change the topic for now, especially since it feels wrong to pry through a mental connection. ]

Um.. have you tried anything fun yet this Jaunt..? It seems like there is a lot to do here, even if it's mostly all new for us.

[ He's actually rather grateful for the change of subject, not willing to really go into detail about 'what's wrong'. Saying 'everything' is probably not the best answer anyway, and he doesn't want to upset her.

Instead, he focuses on the question at hand, debating a response. What has he done here? That's a good question, actually.

Oh, wait! He has an answer after all. ]

I discovered I don't really like disgustingly sweet drinks and convinced a student to part with a few bottles of alcohol.

[ He even did it without hitting him! ...or without hitting him too hard. It was just a knock on the head. Besides, these people are a little too sheltered and fragile-looking for his taste. More wussiness, less sturdiness. ]

Their idea of fun doesn't really mesh with mine.

[ Those games they were playing had to be the most disturbingly innocent things he's ever witnessed. How are these kids in their teens?! Teenagers are practically adults! They should be doing adult things, not acting like five year olds (and he doesn't mean the Souji-variety of five year old, either). ]

Edited (html, i will end you) 2015-03-09 04:07 (UTC)

[ It's a good thing that Chizuru's view of Sano (compared to Ibuki's, for example) is so idealised that she doesn't even take the convincing in the negative but true kind of way.. instead she just thinks Sano nicely asked them and the students were so kind that they let him have some! Totally what happened, since Sano is great and kind and totally not violent. Nope.

The answer after that makes her fuss a little more again though. Maybe it's the reason why he seems so downcast.. or maybe he just needs a distraction?

In that case she's quick to jump into action. ]

What do you find fun, Harada-san? Maybe I can help..!

[ He'll give her the benefit of the doubt in this, though he really doesn't think there's much here he'd enjoy. In another place and time, he might have had a very suggestive response to her question, but he can't do that now. One of these days, though, her rose-colored view of him will need to be shattered. This, however, is not that day. ]

They're children. The games they play and the things they do reflect that. At their age, I was getting into fights and splitting myself open. It's an entirely different world.

Well, the customs are very different, so you can't blame them..

[ She's not even going to judge his whole seppuku deal. Because you totally know that if it had been any of the other two third of the baka trio he was talking to about it, they totally would have pointed out Sano's sort of an extreme example in this case. Chizuru's much too sweet for that though. ]

I've seen some adults around too, though..! Although it really does seem like they're the minority in this place.

Edited 2015-03-14 14:00 (UTC)

I don't think I like this place's customs very much.

[ There's really not much else he can say to that. The adults he's seen haven't been all that interesting to him, and the emphasis on whatever it is these people term "romantic" is disturbing. ]

Must be nice to have nothing better to worry about than who got the wrong love letter.

Then.. [ Mentally the words trail off for a moment before she carefully dares to go on. There's something definitely a little off about him today, so she doesn't want to say the wrong thing, but.. even so.. ]

Would it really be that bad to let everything go for a little bit..? All of those worries won't matter anyway as long as we're here, and then maybe Harada-san could have a small break living like the people here do. [ ... ] I know it's not that easy, but.. um, maybe trying just for a little bit might be nice..

Chizuru, I'll be fine. I've always managed before, so this won't be much different.

[ Except for the part where Shinpachi isn't here for him to go get wasted with, and there's not a drop of booze to be found anymore, but still. It's the thought that counts, right? ]

[ See, it's this point where she feels like she must be pushing a little too much. It's not like she doesn't try to prick through the "I'm fine" bubbles that the men of the Shinsengumi always pop up to seem like they're doing okay, but it's still a little harder with the guys that aren't Hijikata, who she hasn't grown a bond that close with.

So she's willing to back off with at least this much. She did her say, didn't she? ]

A-alright. If you say so, Harada-san.. I believe in you.

[ let it go, let it goooooo, that perfect girl is gone— ]

[ does this mean that souji's signing up for the part of ice queen? because he'd totally make a pretty pretty princess. ]

[ only if you super promise to play Anna for him ]

[ let's see. spunky redhead who's kind of an airhead at times, acts without thinking at others, and has best intentions at heart despite totally going about things all wrong? SIGN HIM UP! ]

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how did i not notice this until now?

Via the magic of gmail + dw working together o7

i am le dumb