[Jaunt] Gerbils. Why did it have to be gerbils?

[carbonatedscientist]

Should anyone find a gerbil where a gerbil should not be, please return it to me as soon as possible. It would seem that the stars of Giant Gerbils from Mars...have escaped.

[Sento hates everything this production has chosen to be.]

Comments

[desperate_times_right]

I told you that you should be more worried over the gerbils than the explosion potential. How many are we talking about, here?

[carbonatedscientist]

Three hundred, give or take. Some of them might be pregnant--the idiots didn't keep the males and females separate before I got here--and there might be cats prowling the studio.

[desperate_times_right]

[Every single thing that happens here is designed to test her ability to keep a straight face in ridiculous but stressful-to-other-people situations]

I see... Well, I’ll do my best.

[carbonatedscientist]

Thanks. If the budget weren't so shoestring, I'd offer a bounty on them.

But as it stands I'm really having to get creative.

[desperate_times_right]

Do you have traps? Or cages or anything?

[verdeleonessa]

I found a few chewing on the cords in the War of the Worlds set.

[carbonatedscientist]

Of course they'd be trying to sabotage the other Mars feature. Tricky little monsters.

[There is a very sarcastic and tired edge to his mental voice here.]

If you catch them, would you mind bringing them by Soundstage 27?

[carbonatedscientist]

I've set out a few nonlethal traps, though I worry about people on other productions who might not be as kind.

[verdeleonessa]

At least not that many got in, so the damage isn't very huge.

Yeah, I have them so I'll head over right away. The staff here wants them gone as soon as possible anyway.

[desperate_times_right]

If you’ve got extras I can bring them by the other sets when I do deliveries there.

[carbonatedscientist]

Perfect. They're at least supposed to damage things here; I'll have to add some more suspension bridges for them to gnaw on.

[carbonatedscientist]

That would be wonderful if you could.

I believe I can at least provide a cup of coffee for your trouble.

[desperate_times_right]

Most people probably won’t kill them if there’s an alternative. I’ll stop by the sound stage when I do my rounds today.

[verdeleonessa]

If you need help, just let me know. I have a lot of free time, since they don't trust a teenager to do anything, even if I do have the skills.

Also is one of these supposed to have mustache? Because one of them does.

[breakaleginhalf]

You motherfuck.

[He doesn't actually sound angry. Just vaguely exasperated.]

There's like an army of goddamn hamsters in the props department, I think they made a nest in one of the fake buildings.

[awondrousplace]

A few of them got in one of the walkers, Pidge, dear. Would you mind coming to get them out? I very much appreciate it.

[verdeleonessa]

... of course they did. I'll be right there.

[carbonatedscientist]

Still, accidents happen.

I appreciate the assistance.

[carbonatedscientist]

If you'd like to come by, you're welcome to it.

...and no, no mustaches were in the script. I'm not even sure I want to know how that happened.

[carbonatedscientist]

You say that like I'm the one who let them out, which I'm not.

Keep them there, I'll come remove the nest...but only if they're gerbils; hamsters would be from some other production and therefore not my responsibility.

[desperate_times_right]

No problem. If my partner back home got wind of me sitting by while someone hurt animals, she’d be pissed.

[carbonatedscientist]

An excellent point. We're definitely trying to treat them well when we're not having them run through miniature sets.

[desperate_times_right]

I’m sure that’s good for them, too. Enrichment or something.

[carbonatedscientist]

Gives them something other to do than eat and make little gerbils, I suppose.

[desperate_times_right]

Hopefully after this there are measures in place to avoid that second one.