[That is... definitely not what he's expecting and he softens considerably.]

What about it is cruel? I did not say that love does not happen, or at the very least a good friendship. Focusing on something besides physical beauty is not a bad thing. Is being pretty more important than being good at making a good meal or being able to weave something beautiful? How someone looks changes, we get old or injured and focusing so hard on being good looking enough leads to vanity.

I... do not expect whomever my wife ends up being to love me, or even like me very much, but that does not mean I will be cruel or needlessly mean to her.