synopsychic

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[The voice coming across the psychic network is probably completely unfamiliar to most of the Travelers - Rorschach talked to very few people on his first time in Liminal Space, and during the Jaunt, as Vilmos, he didn't have the same rough, growling rasp.]

Who allowed this?

Cold, suffocating dark goes on forever, we are alone, and yet some force can bend a man's mind, put him in another place, give him another's memories, make him lead a life he never had? We suffer in oblivion and make our own choices to keep us as hell-bound as those that came before us and yet some corrupted, corrupting force plays the part of a non-existent God and twists those choices, the only thing to give a life purpose, to make them meaningless?

Who is responsible?

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[There is a long, long silence, and it almost seems for awhile as though Lupa isn't going to get a response at all. He almost doesn't. Almost. When it does come, it is private from all other responses, as the masked man has been taught to do that now.]

Rorschach.

[Lupa makes his reply private as well, taking his time to make sure it's done properly and carefully.]

I am glad to meet you as myself, Rorschach. I cannot offer a solution, or comfort about the other memories, but I can say that you don't need to remain alone if you don't wish to be.

[another pause]

We are all alone, ultimately. Everything else is wishful thinking.

[There is an answering pause.]

I do not believe the same. We are all connected, and our karma, through our deeds and the act of carrying it forward, effects the world, and through that, others. They in turn affect us. No one is alone, even if they try to remain apart.

Naive to think so. [Then he continues, though he wouldn't normally - it's odd, he feels as though he's talking to an old friend, someone like Daniel. He's certain it must be related to the retained memories, but he seems helpless to stop himself from acting in such a way. Of course, Rorschach is fairly abrasive to even the people he likes.]

The belief in some deeper meaning beyond the personal - it doesn't exist. All just comforting blankets so that we don't have to face the frozen emptiness that is reality. Blankets that carry the ape house stench of lies, a stench we are so inured to we no longer even notice our own stink.

I am not the best one to discuss this. My knowledge is incomplete. What I do know is that I have lived, and died, and been reincarnated into my current state. I have memories from that first life, awoken when the one called Angel transformed all of us within the Junkyard into demons. If connection did not exist, that would not have happened. Angel's actions created her karma, and her actions changed us. Now we must live with those consequences, and our own choices create karma that we must bear.

[another silence]

You are not a demon.

I am.

[Lupa hesitates over revealing it, but the more that know, the less danger of catching people unaware and unprepared to deal with him if he goes mad.]

My Atma Brand is Lavaflow, and my Demon Avatar is Cerberus. My affinity is fire, and I must maintain control at all times. If I lose control I will go Mad, lose all sense of myself and ability to determine comrade from enemy and there will be nothing but hunger and hunting instinct left. At that point there is nothing that can be done but killing me.

I went Mad and was killed before I cam here. The Madness makes the memories confused, but I know I ripped apart several men before my comrades were able to stop and destroy me. That is what a demon is.

Madness does not make a man a demon, it makes him a monster. No spiritual significance in murder or violence, no god to allow or prohibit such acts, no higher power to intervene, no devil to drive a man to such acts.

[He's honestly not sure he can believe Lupa murdered anyone in such a way, but he also can't imagine why the man would lie about it. The thought is troubling, and he has to mull it over in his mind a little, trying to decide how to feel and react.]

To me there is no difference between demon and monster? But there may be and I do not remember. Most of my memories from my life before the Junkyard are gone. I have only a few fragments.

[Sera could definitely explain it better, but Lupa isn’t sure he wants to know, or that Sera would have time to explain.]

Demons are driven by a higher power. They gain their strength from opposing a god. [pauses] They do not exist.

You're an amnesiac?

Many of what we called demons, I’ve found are considered gods in other places. Or angels. I don’t think that distinction of opposing a god counted where I am from. Whatever we become, we do exist.

I have been reincarnated. I am not sure I’m supposed to remember that life before, but I do remember parts of it.

Therefore you're not a demon. [stubbornly]

If the word is that important, every well.

[He’s not going to stop calling himself a demon to other people, because it is the correct word, but if the word bothers Rorschach, Lupa can refrain from using it with him.]

An Asura then.

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