synopsychic | [Video]// Check-in Post for the living!

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[Video]// Check-in Post for the living!

I can confirm that this is definitely Harrogate, though 123 years in the future, the year 2020.

Everyone themselves on the jaunt, check in here. [His acting skills from his overlay here the last time are being used to good effect, as he appears confident and energetic, hiding whatever fear and uncertainty he has about this place.] Who's investigating here, and who have you seen infiltrating? Is anyone themselves but with an infiltrator persona - and if so, what can you tell us of the current situation?

I'd also like to know who has memory restoration - we should coordinate who we turn back into themselves, starting with other people who know memory restoration, so we can affect the greatest number of people. And if you have any ideas of what we should ask people on the walkabout side of things, let me know - I'll likely be contacting them as soon as we start to have things organized and know what's going on over here.

I can help if anyone has more general questions about the customs, culture, or history of this place. Additionally, if you want to know if someone is around on the jaunt, but they're not responding to psychic hails, I can help - as long as they're within about sixty miles of here.

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....I'm here. I have that ability as well.

[Alcuin's struggling to remain calm, but he's late to this check in, and his voice sounds strained. Those who know him or were on his dungeon a year ago might be able to tell that he's terrified.]

...It won't be like last time, Alcuin. We know more than we did then, we can do more. It'll be different.

[He hides it better, but Alcuin will know Armin well enough to see that he's terrified too, if still utterly determined.]

I'll do everything in my power to protect you. I promise.

Edited 2017-08-10 08:11 (UTC)

If you do so at the cost of your own life, Armin Arlert, I will not forgive you. I can't do this. And I can't lose you because of my idiocy again. Stay safe. For the love of... of humanity, stay safe.

...I'll do my best. [No promises. For all it terrifies him as death alone does not, he knows he's not likely to come out of this unscathed - he already knows too much. He needed to know, because they needed to have someone able to use it to protect everyone. But it makes him vulnerable, and there's nothing he can do to avoid that, not without putting them all in jeopardy.]

[He knows]

...I love you.

...I love you, Alcuin. [Why does their relationship always seem to hurt like this.]

If you're frightened and you need company, at any point... I'm here. I know what you went through last time, Alcuin, and there's no shame in fear, or in seeking comfort.

Thorne's overlay... she has a house. She's letting me stay in her guest bed.

[long pause and a sense of words nearly said and shaky breaths]

I... I don't think I can go outside.

[Oh, Alcuin...]

Would you like me to come by?

[The prompt is compassionate, and infinitely gentle - no judgement present, or pressure to respond.]

I don't know, I can't think my heart is so loud - it feels like I can hear my bones twisting and growing, Armin: they can do that, I know they can, I know how they do it, I can't--

[He cuts himself off]

Alcuin...

[His voice breaks, and he stops. It kills him to see Alcuin like this - especially because he knows exactly how he feels.

It doesn't mean he knows how to help.]

[forlorn and small]

It's different. I know it's different. I can feel it is. See it is. So why can't I...

[He just wants to hold you and tell you everything will be all right.]

Because it's not about logic. It's not about how far we've come, or how it'll be this time. You know it'll be different - but in your mind, you're still back on the shores of that lake, like you never really left. I know - I'm still lying back on that stage.

[he doesn't mean to broadcast the stuttering sob, but he does.]

Please Elua no... have mercy, have mercy... Emperor, Empress, please, let this pass us by... Why are they doing this?

I'm sorry, Alcuin. I don't have the answers.

[He closes his eyes a moment, and his image vanishes from the network...

And appears right in from of Alcuin. Present, but a little ghostly and unreal nonetheless. He reaches out a gentle hand to Alcuin's cheek, eyes sorrowful, pausing just above the skin - wanting to comfort, but unable to touch.]

[Curled up as tightly as he can, night mummified in a blanket, Alcuin is crying too hard to breathe in more than short, rasping gasps. He's seated, rocking, in the center of a daybed in a cozy room full of sewing materials and academic texts. A twenty-something young man shaking apart at the seams is clearly not part of the room's aesthetic.]

Armin?

[Lost and afraid, Alcuin clutches at his head as if somehow that will make him reach Armin's mind, and then he rubs his eyes, opens them, and leaps backward into the bedframe and the wall with an almighty clatter and a strangled yelp. He stares at Armin, clutching the metal bedframe and hyperventillating.]

[Armin hurts when he sees his friend like that, in his throat and deep in his chest - coming apart too much to even try to hold together. But it never even occurs to him Alcuin might not know what a projected image might look like, so he's shocked when the man panics. He holds his hands out placatingly, alarmed, trying to calm him.]

Alcuin? No, it's - I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. It's all right, I'm all right, I just wanted to see you. I'm not a ghost, just miles away. I'm sorry, please...

[Alcuin presses his hands over his mouth and shuts his eyes tightly. He's trying so hard to pull himself together but he can't manage to do more than slightly slow his breathing. The bedframe taps and rattles against the wall.]

Armin, oh gods Armin, I-I can't, I can't do this, I can't be what they need, I can't look for the dead I can't I can't I can't I can't--!

[He hunches forward with a tiny, desperate mewling sound. But his eyes open. He stares at Armin as if he could drag him across the miles by sheer willpower.]

Neria. Sera. Ambrose. Robin. Toby. Neeshka. You... Elua help me, I can't do this!

[It breaks his heart, and he hates himself for it, but he doesn't know how to help. He stills, as he considers a solution he'd hoped he'd never have to use. But then, he didn't imagine Alcuin would get this bad. He doesn't want to see his friend suffer like this. And... and they really could use him to help figure out what's happening.

Still, he hesitates, and when he speaks, his voice is small and uncertain.] Alcuin do you... do you want me to lock those memories away from you, for a time? I, I could. If that will help.

[Alcuin's eyes widen in shock, and for a long, dreadful moment, he is still. And silent.]

[He could have them locked away. He wouldn't have to remember. Wouldn't have to relive everything every time he set foot on the streets! He could be free of it till they got back, and he knows Armin could do it in such a way that he would remember why they were shut up. He might be able to actually breathe and move and investigate the current happenings without problems.]

[The temptation is terrible.]

[But his eyes close and he moans, low and forlorn.]

No... no, I can't. I just can't. I am the only one to have faced Him. I-I can't... we need that knowledge available, and I won't know the details, that's the point, and my own need to know would not allow it to stand, and I would break it open... Elua help me, I want to. I want to be of use! But I can't. I can't take it. Ah gods...

[But he's been shocked out of hyperventillating, at least. He can speak again, if through shameful tears. It is better than it was five minutes ago.]

...All right. [He honestly doesn't know whether he's disappointed or relieved. Probably both.

He doesn't point out that Alcuin shared the memories of what happened with him, afterwards - in the face of his friend's courage, he can't bear to make this even harder for him.] The offer is there.

[For the first time, Armin actually looks around the room they're in, frankly curious - and desperate not to lose the ground he's managed to gain. To keep things positive, if at all possible.] ...What's jiejie's overlay like? I haven't really talked to her yet, this jaunt.

[Alcuin scrubs the corner of the blanket over his face, trying to stop crying. Not that it's working very well. But he sees what Armin's trying to do and latches onto the distraction gratefully.]

She's... She's herself. A Traveler. But in an overlay's body. I don't... I've heard Daneel say he's. He's done it before. But I've never.

[He shakes his head.]

She's older. A what-if future. She's a professor at a college here, and still sews costumes and attends conventions. She's alone. Not a vampire, but she's so alone. And she's here! Blessed Elua, if we hadn't come, and this had all happened without us, if we don't stop it--

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[Video]// Check-in Post for the living!

[voice only]

[private]// psychic protection ii

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[private]// psychic protection ii

CW: ANXIETY/PANIC [private]// psychic protection ii

[private]// psychic protection ii

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[private]// psychic protection ii

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[private]// psychic protection ii

CW: PANIC ATTACK

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