we're tuning in for your regularly scheduled changeling screaming

[runs]

[Not long after the return to Liminal, in a timeframe better measured in minutes than anything else, Kitty starts broadcasting. It's quiet at first but quickly gets louder as she's clearly working herself into a fit, dropping any ability to filter from the network as she goes.]

sheshouldnotbehereSheShouldNotBeHere

SHE SHOULDNOTBEHEREsheshouldnotbehereSheShouldNotBeHere

SHESHOULDNOTBEHERENOT HERE

NONONONONONODREKDREKDREKDREKTECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHESHOULDNOTBEHERESHESHOULDNOTBEHERESHESHOULDNOT[...and so on.

(To those who'd actionspam at her instead of responding on the network, she's just standing rooted to the spot where she arrived, staring at a moose-sized dragon opposite of her, who seems to be rather unsure of how to help her, considering that she dodges every time the dragon tries to get closer, without ever moving away further. Her whole body is tense, her fingers curled, and those who can see through masks will notice that her whole body language resembles that of a thoroughly spooked cat.)]

Comments

[breakaleginhalf]

You can't.

What we are now? We're stuck like this. The Fair Folk take something from us, and we can't get that back. Because we don't know what They took. Some of us think it's our soul, or our memories. Our humanity.

[triggerhappytraitor]

That doesn't mean any of you are beyond help. Or that you can't still live like humans if you want to.

She's blaming herself for something she wasn't able to control and is afraid what happened to her will happen to her dragon companion. That can be helped.

[breakaleginhalf]

That's what we try to do. But we don't fit in anymore. You guys have no idea how it feels, knowing you'd be hunted down like a monster if you slip up, or having someone who cares about you touch you, and you know they can't see what you really are. They literally can't feel how you're not human. It can drive us insane.

Kitty's nine. She needs validation, not being told she can go back to how things were. Changelings don't get that option. We get replaced in our own lives - we have nothing to go back to.

[triggerhappytraitor]

[[Another, small, awkward pause]]

I know a little. My allies and closest friend back home...

[[he trails off, looking over at where Kitty was sitting]]

I don't want her to be upset and afraid that her dragon companion will be changed the way she was.


[[and after another moment's pause, he speaks aloud once more, voice soft and rather guilty sounding.]]

Sorry. I hadn't realized what you meant.

[runs]

[Kitty was about to end the conversation by telling Tachibana that he didn't understand and just hide against Cynthia and ignore Tachibana until he would leave when Gil interjected.

...So she did the hiding against Cynthia anyway. She can guess that it must have been Cynthia who called Gil in - she knows him, after all, they've met, she's seen Kitty and Gil around one another, and what's more, she knows about him. That they might not be exactly the same because of Kitty's strange two-person situation, but that him and Jules are the closest to what she is in this place, and that he and Jules share with her the part about all of this situation that bothers her so much.

And as briefly as they've known each other she feels like it is something that the dragon hen would do.

The hen in question has let Kitty hide against her and shielded her a bit with her tail, but she's now pushing the girl forward a bit, trying to make her look at Tachibana. She does so, not quite opening up yet, and just nods.]

I know.

[triggerhappytraitor]

Is there anything I can do?

[runs]

[Not if he can't bring Cynthia back to where she came from, now, before it is too late.

But as she shakes her head, she realizes that that isn't the only thing he could do. But the other thing might be even harder.]

Understand.

[It won't strictly help now, but it might in the future. And in general.]

[triggerhappytraitor]

[[a small nod]] I'll do my best to, if you'll be patient with me.

[runs]

...

[She nods, and then adds by way of an excuse:]

Normally I don't have to explain because people shouldn't know, or if they should, someone else will explain.

[triggerhappytraitor]

It's a more complicated situation, being here with so many others from so many other places. I sometimes have trouble with it myself, here, when it comes to things from back home.

[runs]

Most people back home can't understand, either. Not really.

[Only a Changeling truly can. But people can come close enough.]

But they don't have to, and shouldn't even learn that we exist. But here everyone is weird and too many people can see through masks, and... and people know a bit, but they don't understand.

[triggerhappytraitor]

"It's hard to, when you know so little," Tachibana nodded. "And when it's hard to explain it, it makes it frustrating. Easier to just yell and run away," he added with a felt huff of self deprecating amusement. "That much, I understand."

[runs]

[Not that she disagrees, just putting it like that does make it sound a bit dumb.]

...I don't know if it can really be explained.

[triggerhappytraitor]

[[Yeah, it does. But he was when he did it, and he can acknowledge that now.]]

Somethings can't. But hopefully they can at least be a little bit. Just enough so that I don't keep making mistakes that upset you.

[runs]

...Maybe.

[Maybe that is possible.] ...There is no reason for us to assume that the Arcana are not Gentry. No reason. [She's had this discussion before, multiple times, and nothing ever held up. Not once she sat back and really thought about it.] And I don't want to be the reason why - something like that happens to her.

But I am. [Because she didn't discourage the bond. Because Cynthia got close to her.]

[triggerhappytraitor]

Tachibana was quiet a moment. "...wouldn't it be their fault, not yours?" he offered gently.

[runs]

It's still their doing, but I could maybe have prevented it if I hadn't let her get this close.

[So yes, it is her fault, but that doesn't absolve the Arcana of their part in it, far from it. Their part in it just doesn't absolve her from her part in it, either.]

[triggerhappytraitor]

[[He's quiet a moment]]

You can't really stop people from getting close to you. Sometimes, it feels like the more you push them away or try and hide from them, the more they stubbornly persist. [[A faint, almost fond smile]]

You can't hide away from everyone, just because you're worried that someone else might notice.

[runs]

It wouldn't be everyone. I'd just stick to travellers and their overlays.

[Those would be safe. They're already caught up in this.]