synopsychic | (no subject)

[There's a bit too much chaos to deal with it while the flash mob is still going, but as soon as things settle down, for some relative value of settling down, Hijikata's straight on to business.]

If this is your first jaunt: don't panic, try to blend in.

Some of our number are going to think they belong in this world. If you can hear this, then obviously, you're not one of them. Keeping an eye on our infiltrators is usually our second clue to figuring out what the hell we're supposed to be doing here.

Our first one is when we arrive in the middle of some shitstorm like this, though - that usually means something. So it's sounding like this one's got to do with... [A slight noise of frustration. This is not his wheelhouse.] Romantic shit? Valentine's Day? If any of you are experts, now would be a good time to tell the rest of us. Or if you know a lot about, I don't know, weddin-

[Actually, no, this is not how he wants to start wedding planning, he is going to cut himself the hell off there. Embarrassedly.]

We usually start by checking in, anyway, so if you're still yourself, speak up. If you've noticed anyone is definitely an infiltrator, tell us that, too; you might as well save us the trouble of saying something really goddamned stupid to them while we're trying to figure it out.

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[ this foreboding silence though... It needs breaking. ]

—so, I'll do the cake and things like it!

Do you even know how to make a cake?

[ no ]

Yes.

Get Saitou to help you.

[Saitou can be trusted.]

[ not directed at Hijikata, but--! ]

Haajjiimmeeee-kuuunnnN!

[or you could just tell him next time you see him like a normal person]

[ you'd know all about being a normal person, wouldn't you, mister I-think-I'm-in-love-with-you. After all that and you are letting your wedding ~~involve Souji~~ happen because a weird computer thing just decided for you!!? ]

[It's... It's fine, you know? It's not like he hadn't been paying attention. It's not like he thought they'd be able to get through this without him needing to babysit Souji in some way... Who would ever think that?]

...I understand. I will take care of it.

[As in, he will bake the cake himself, Souji's not even allowed!!]

...thank you.

[You don't even know how important you are to him, Saitou.

Thank you for being sane.]

Hajime-kun!!! Can I help at all?

[He saw that whole exchange and PLEASE TELL HIM YOU AREN'T GOING TO LET SOUJI MAKE THE GODDAMN CAKE. Please can he help somehow make this not a pure disaster.]

[Bless your kind soul, Heisuke...]

Yes, so long as Hijikata-san does not require you elsewhere.

[There were plenty of things that needed to be done in addition to cake-baking, not to mention that Saitou didn't yet know what kind of cake they were making or for how many people... There was a lot of work to be done!]

[Yes he is like a cinnamon roll, too good for this world.]

Ah, well if he needs me somewhere he'll say so - in the mean time I want to actually be useful! I mean - unless he has me doing something with the jaunt...

[But CAKE. He clearly has priorities that are leaning towards this cake.]

["Unless he has me doing something with the jaunt," he says, like that shouldn't be the main priority to begin with?!

It was bad enough when it was just Souji but Saitou's suddenly remembering now what it's like to be the only captain with his head in the right place...!!]

Considering how unpredictable these jaunts tend to be, it will be difficult to know until the time comes. But whatever may happen, we will be ready for it.

[Whether it's cake or zombies or octopus monsters... Since you never really know, apparently.]

Mm! Exactly!! I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious so don't worry. I'll let you or Hijikata-san know first thing.

[And he will seriously bend over backwards to make this wedding a success.]

Of course. Thank you, Heisuke.

[Saitou sincerely appreciates it. He knows that no one can help how they feel about all of this, but it felt just as important to him that this went well, for Hijikata and Chizuru's sake. Even if their personal feelings were complicated, they should think about their friends.

(But maybe it's easier for him to say, "Their happiness matters more." when all he'd ever done was put his feelings aside for others.)]