Jauntside end Week 1 | Warning: comments will probably start talking about Atma

[blinktomissit]

Hey, so, uh... [be cool be cool] not to harsh anyone's magic school vibe or anything - how's that whole 'dark wizard' thing working out for you guys anyway? - but I've just got a uh, just a... teeny tiny question about something that you know, may have been overlooked in the whole mission statement thing that I feel like is probably worth asking a couple questions about. Nothing big, nothing big, just. You know. Wondering what the hell is up with the room full of corpses. Anyone got a uh - any ideas about that? They like [oh hey is it possible for a telepathic voice to become a bit strained and squeakier? he is sounding more and more wigged out the longer he rambles]-- spares, or something?

[OOC: Warning again! Comments may or may not end up containing Atma (cannibalism virus) explanations.]

Comments

[blinktomissit]

You know, I'd actually -- I'd like to know the same thing. That's a really good question. Why do you have a room full of corpses, Taako? Is this where you saw yourself after the almost-end-of-the-world? Where do you think you'll be in five years' time? Do you think there'll be more corpses to hang around with? What color do you think they'll be then? A nice mauve, maybe? Chartreuse? Salmon?

[he really doesn't need to keep going except he does, because he needs to nail the real stupidity of that question home]

The answer to these questions, like many others Barold, is I don't fucking know. Now I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and I'm gonna guess that unless you've decided to go for a whole re-design of your character - and I'll support you by the way, you be the best you inside you that you can be - that these ones here aren't yours?

[grimjeaper]

Why would they be mine, Taako, I've been here for less than two weeks and I haven't died yet! A-and a new body needs, at minimum, six times as long as that to be actually capable of functioning outside of a tank, and you'd better goddamn believe me when I say I've tested that fact.

[Don't think he doesn't know how a fucking Clone spell works after twelve years, Taako]

L-- look, okay, they're not yours and they're not mine. Okay. Also, for- for the record, I like my body how it is just fine.

[blinktomissit]

Yeah well look I'm not exactly a body-growing pro over here, I mean like sure I grew this one I guess and that turned out pretty okay but like, I'm thinking that my mother's womb doesn't exactly count for an Arcane incubator. So you know, I'm gonna let you have that one. I'll give it to you.

[and meanwhile there's a small train of thought, counting.] Two, three, four...

...So, how long did you say it takes to grow these? Ballpark it for me. Twelve weeks, fifteen, twenty...?

[grimjeaper]

I'm only a pro because the pod I used was necromantic. [Remember his specialty Taako] And I had to go through a lot of do-overs.

[Somehow, there's a heavy sigh.]

Uh. A hundred and twenty days. So- so eighteen weeks, actually, and spare change. But that's just for our world, through a spell. I-I dunno how that might translate anywhere else.

[helborn]

[Excuse me what.]

... Okay so like. Please tell me you did not force the dead back to life. Because we might need to have Words.

[grimjeaper]

No! We- we don't go tampering with other peoples' lives, kid, it's not ever our place to make that kind of call.

It was always my own body, alright? I'm the dead guy, it's my corpse we were regrowing. That alright by you?

[helborn]

... Oh. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, just... you know. I'm kind of a psychopomp so that kind of thing is just. You know. Sensitive, part of the job, you get it.

[He's rambling.]

I'm also dead, I get it. Sorry.

[grimjeaper]

What? No, it-it's fine. Mine was by choice. And I'm... kind of a psychopomp too? I guess? I'm a reaper by trade.

[helborn]

... Yeah, mine wasn't. But it's... it's okay.

[It's not okay.]

My mother's a goddess of death? So I kind of got the psychopomp thing as a job because of course I did. But I was helping out ghosts before I even knew she was my mother, so...

[grimjeaper]

Hey, not a bad gig. Mine was either be the Raven Queen's emissary or be tried for crimes against the natural order of life and death, so. Y'know. Not exactly a hard choice.

[he likes being alive existent thank you, now that he has his girlfriend back]

[helborn]

Uh. Yeah. No, I totally get it. Raven Queen isn't a deity in my world, but there's some that are associated with ravens?

I have a raven here too, actually. He's very cranky and I'm sorry in advance.

[grimjeaper]

I'm not sure her ravens like me too much either, don't worry. They, uh, like my boss more, I think. He's our Queen's favourite.

[helborn]

Oh, good. It's not a great idea to have a god pay the most attention to you. Some people think it'd be great but nope.

[grimjeaper]

Still - at least when they do, better to be in their favour, right?

[blinktomissit]

So... these are yours? You ever hear of making things in moderation?

[dead people, when will they learn.]

[helborn]

They're not mine. I've just got the one body. Technically it's my original one, but I died, and... it's complicated.

[blinktomissit]

[you have like five specialties Barry pick a class and stick with it]

...

--Cool. Cool, cool. Cool. Cool. Okay. Yeah. Uh. Cool. Cool.

[is that an accurate reflection of how long each of these corpses took to grow because there are several corpses here, Barry, several. that's a bit too much dedication to farming bodies for even Taako, who has one (1) best friend and one (1) sister's boyfriend and undoubtedly eventually one (1) sister inhabiting bodies that've been whipped up in questionably Lawful situations.]

I, uh -- you know what, I think I'm just about done all up in here. I'm, uh. I'm gonna - that whole dark wizard thing looks pretty cool after all, I think I might pop back out and [hide behind some sturdier people] take just a, just a peek at all that.

[grimjeaper]

Alright then.

[Somewhere in the castle, there is a boy with his face in his hands.]

...

Taako, how-- how long have you been here?

[blinktomissit]

[hey what no he thought they were gonna neatly dodge this topic. not cool, barold. not cool.]

Well, you know, somewhere between the crazy spotlights and tophats and the corpses I guess I kind of forgot to count the hours. How 'bout that? And what about you, anyway? [and now he's deliberately going parental:] Making progress? Met any new friends? How are your grades holding up?

[grimjeaper]

Taako-- [excuse you that's not an answer do you even know how close he came to freaking out when he realised you guys weren't here with him this time--]

...yeah, actually. Y'know, it-it's funny you say grades, because, uh. Well, I got turned into a teenager for this one. I'm like, fifteen now.