synopsychic | psychic/action

Entry tags:

psychic/action

[Hope you're all enjoying your sudden, Liminal Space-filled existences, Travelers. Either way, there's suddenly going to be a very tentative, very timid psychic broadcast.]

Um... excuse me...

[For anyone who met Mai during the Jaunt, she's certainly entirely different now--but then again, that's why she's doing this in the first place, despite being terrified of bothering people in this way. So after a brief pause, she rallies her courage.]

...My name is Mai--um, for the people I didn't know, and I... I was really different in that Jaunt b-but... I just wanted to say that I'm really really sorry!

[There's no visual here--she doesn't have the capability--but even so, it's pretty obvious to anyone who knows her that she's bowing her head here in her shame and apology.]

I did some truly terrible things to everyone, and I...I was really-- [A pause.] Just... I'm very sorry. That's... that's all.

Oh-- um. Near-san... [...what does she even say to him? She's really not sure. After a moment, a really awkward pause, she manages a fumbled thought--] Can we...talk?

[For those who would rather go the action route, Mai is not hard to find; she's tucked against a penny slots machine, arms wrapped around her knees, chin resting on them and eyes downcast. Seems this Jaunt took quite a lot out of her as well, but then again, dying isn't fun for anyone.

There are people she knows she needs to find and check on, but... well, she needs just a moment longer.]

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["Too".

She doesn't miss that at all. But slowly, she sits up, and slowly she curls in on herself a little, wrapping her free arm around her legs as she thinks about it.]

That's right... [Near had impaled her--he'd slammed his staff right through her back. And she'd been glad for it, because it had meant that she wouldn't have to kill him...

... She swallows, but she won't cry here.]

But...Armin-san... Armin-san too?

[Armin nods, silent, their shackles clanging a bit when he moves to give her room to curl in like she does. Neither of them had had a good time this past jaunt at all. He bites his lip, uncertain.]

Do... do you want to talk about it? I mean... it'd hard, but in my experience, it can help to open up about it. This... isn't my first time with it, you know.

[She should know, but a reminder won't hurt - a reminder that she's not alone and there are others that know what she's going through.]

[She doesn't, really, but it's more because she wouldn't even know where to begin than anything else. At his admittance that it isn't his first time dying, Mai's eyes widen further, and she shifts a little closer to him, reaching out for his hand on automatic.]

Armin-san? You've died-- [...] Was it here...? [In their world-hopping life--or was it...back home? She's scared, almost, to know the answer.]

[He looks down at the question. He swallows hard before responding, voice subdued.]

...In Harrogate. And... and Moebius.

[Even if he doesn't remember much from Moebius, that much is pretty obvious. However, no matter how many times he's come close - he's experienced the inside of a titan's mouth before, after all - he's never died back home.]

But I just mean... Well. If you want to talk about it, I - I'd understand.

[... Oh. Twice... that's a lot.]

Are you...okay, Armin-san? That sounds really hard...

[Her gaze drops as well, and slowly, she moves to wrap her arms around her legs--and the clink of chains stops her.

She blinks.

They're... she reaches down to touch the shackle, and then slowly, her brow furrows.

????]

Oh... [but even so, his response to her question is more important than the fact that they're chained together, at least in this moment.]

I... it hasn't been easy. But I'll manage. At least... at least this time, it was relatively painless. [Especially compared to the other time he remembers - he'll take whatever the hell ROSE did to him to strangulation any day.

His gaze follows hers to the shackles.] Yeah, they... chained us together. I'm guessing because not all the Trumps are a fan of how things turned out.

[Armin's not worrying about that too much now, though it's something he needs to ponder the implications of later. But it's not as important as Mai.]

What... what about you? Was this your first time dying?

["Relatively painless"... she supposes that's the best she can hope for. After a moment, though, in a quiet tone, she does have to ask--]

Was it...was it scary?

[Because the rest of his questions...]

... No... I've-- I've died before. And it's...always so scary...no matter how many times...

[Armin bites his lip, not quite meeting her eyes - but after a moment, he nods.]

It- it was. I didn't understand what was happening. I was disoriented, my head really hurt, and... and my hand felt like it was burning.

[Involuntarily, he glances down at the back of his shackled hand, which bears a stylized 'I' on it.]

She... I think she changed me back into an investigator first. But it happened so fast. And then she hit me in the chest, and... I woke up back here, three days later.

[His voice is quiet - he hasn't actually told anybody else that story yet. Nobody wants to tell everyone how scared they were, soldiers least of all, and Armin is no exception.

Then she answers his question, and his heart sinks. No matter how many times...]

As... as a Traveler? Or... [He's known people who have died before coming here - Alcuin, for example. But if she's died more than once...]

[It was scary...for him too. She follows his gaze to that hand, and then gently reaches out to lay her own hand over it, an attempt at some sort of comfort. At the very least, her hand is warm, and so is his--that means they're both alive.]

... I see... I guess... um, it's a little silly, but... I'm glad I'm not the only one who was scared. And even if you were scared... you are still so brave, Armin-san.

[That much, she's certain of. Taking on all of these challenges despite having died time and time again--that's too brave for her. She was just always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Nothing brave about it.]

Oh... no. Um... this isn't the first time I've jumped worlds, Armin-san. I mean--um, it happened at home, too. But... I would only jump worlds when I... when I died.

[Armin doesn't feel like he was brave. Especially not in Harrogate - he hadn't even been able to face his death as a soldier, there. And this time, he'd been too disoriented by the transition back to himself again to think straight.

His eyes tighten a little, but of course he doesn't say any of that.]

I think anyone would be scared. [It's not just Mai, or even her and Armin.

His eyes widen in surprise and disbelief at what she tells him.] You... jump worlds when you die? Has it... I mean. [He looks away, unsure if he should even be asking this - and a little afraid of the answer.]

Has it happened a lot?

[Anyone would be scared...yes, that's right, she thinks. Death is a scary thing. Nobody wants...to die.

And he looks so scared of the answer too, and she wishes that she could comfort him, and that she could tell him "oh no, it's only been once or twice" but she knows that he knows better. Even the way she introduced the topic--she knows it's obvious it has happened to her many, many times.

She drops her gaze to the shackles on their wrists.]

... Sometimes I... wasn't even sure what happened until after. It happened so fast, sometimes... [Getting hit by a car--getting thrown off a building. Those didn't sink in until after.]

But sometimes... it wasn't fast at all, and I was... [She closes her eyes, tone growing softer and softer.] ...I was always so scared...

[He all but flinches at the confirmation - but she's right, he really already knew. He almost looks like he's going to cry for a moment, so sad for her and helpless to do anything about it. After a moment, he can't help it - he moves forward and pulls Mai into a tight hug.

Words felt useless. But sometimes you didn't need words.]

[It's surprising--but it's comforting, too. Mai has never been one for a lot of physical affection, but this is warm and comfortable and sweet, not frightening and invasive. This sort of affection... it makes her feel a little better.

So in response, she reaches out to hug him back, the chains connecting them clinking as she does, and for a moment she buries her face in his shoulder.

It's okay...for her to be a little less strong right now, she thinks.

It's okay for her to be scared. And that...helps.]

[Armin just stays there, holding her in his protective embrace as long as she needs it.

He's not strong. He's not strong, and he's often scared. So he understands how she feels. But right now, he simply wants to be strong. He wants to be strong for her so she doesn't have to be. Just like Eren and Mikasa always were for him.

He wants to tell her that she's safe, that it'll be okay. But he can't - they would be merely platitudes, promises they both know he can't keep. So, instead, he says the only things he truthfully can.]

I-It's okay to be scared. I am. I think... I think everyone is, a little. But we'll try our best to look after each other. You, me, Chizuru and Hijikata - everyone. We'll protect each other. [His arms tighten briefly in a reassuring squeeze.] So let's just trust in one another, all right?

Edited 2015-05-30 02:01 (UTC)

[Armin thinks it's okay too, and Armin is infinitely more useful than her in Jaunts, and Liminal Space, and everything. So that...definitely makes it okay. Mai doesn't know for herself, but if it's coming from him, then she can believe it, and slowly she looks up at him.

And she nods mutely, before finally finding her voice a few moments later.]

...R-right... thank you, Armin-san...

[She sniffs, but she doesn't cry, and manages a weak smile instead.]

So long as it's you, and Hijikata-san and Chizuru-san and everyone, then... then I know everything will be okay.

[Armin pulls back from the hug, takes her hands in his and squeezing gently, and gives her a tremulous smile.]

Right. We'll get through this.

[Armin doesn't actually know if he believes that. But he wants to. And more than that, he wants Mai to be able to believe it.

Finally, he looks down at their shackles again, frowning. They'd starting clanking again when he'd pulled back from the hug - and he has no idea how to get them off. He glances back up at Mai for a moment - uncertain, but not wanting to show it.]

[She can't tell that he has any doubts from that; he sounds certain, and that's enough to restore her own confidence. They'll get through it. He's right. It'll be okay.

So she nods with a quiet smile, and--]

Right. Armin-san is...really good at knowing what's going on, so I'm sure of it too.

[He's always had a really good grasp on the situation, even when she herself hasn't.

And then she follows his gaze towards the chains, and blinks.]

Oh... should I try to pick the lock...? [wow, mai, that's not a skill delicate flowers should have!]

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psychic/action

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has she noticed the shackles yet?

only vaguely! She hasn't processed it yet

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