[Walkabout] Late in the evening, Dayeek 2

[grimjeaper]

Well. That sure happened.




Uh.


If anyone goes into my room and finds me, like. Passed out and kind of beaten up? Don't worry about it. I just got-- I done got kicked out of my body. And.

Locked in a, uh. [Chamberpot.] Locked up.

Comments

[failgoyle]

WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED??!?!

[How catchy is this and does he need to worry? Too late, he's worried.]

[grimjeaper]

I am about ninety-nine percent sure this is not a thing you're gonna have to worry about, bud.

Not unless your soul exists separately to your body, too.

[failgoyle]

N-no, it's. Um. Just...kinda damaged...

[There's a mental equivalent of the clearing of one's throat.]

BUT HOW DID YOU GET LOCKED UP SOMEWHERE? Who did the thing?

[grimjeaper]

Shadwell. He exorcised me and put me in a warded container.

[He's still annoyed about that.]

[failgoyle]

But...but...why?

[grimjeaper]

It's his job. He knew what I was and kicked me out of my body 'cos he thought I was possessing some innocent person.

[nevermind that he told Shadwell what he was]

Which I wasn't, for the record, it's my own body.

[failgoyle]

Well, that's kinda rude, not listening to you and all.

[grimjeaper]

Well, yeah, but. The guy hunts creatures like me who are way less, uh. In control of themselves, I suppose. I am very much an exception to the norm, I can't say I blame him for not believing me.

Still inconvenient, though.

[failgoyle]

Well, yeah, but still, that...that...

...how many others you think are out there that are gonna get, um, way less in control?

[grimjeaper]

Oh, probably heaps.

[With the utmost confidence.]

But right here and now? Just the one.

[failgoyle]

[There's kind of a strangled wailing noise that sounds not unlike a slowly deflating balloon.]

Wonderful.

[blinktomissit]

And, uh -- what level are you again there, my dude? You just, get surprised and forget all the unquantifiable power at your fingertips, huh?

[he loves his bro in law, really]

[grimjeaper]

Maybe a little bit.

B-but he came in asking me about his kid, I kind of just assumed he wasn't gonna kill me over the course of that.

[grimjeaper]

[then he goes quiet for a few seconds.]

...wait, I thought you were infiltrated! [TAAKO HOW DARE]

[blinktomissit]

Detect Magic is like, 'My First Spellbook' level of magic my man; but I guess you're a bit of a shittier spellcaster than I thought, huh?

So how many goblins kicked your ass this time? Was it just the one?

[grimjeaper]

I like to assume the best of people. [Despite the many, many, many, many times this has proven to turn out poorly.]

And, like- I knew he was magic, he just caught me off-guard.

[helborn]

... How did that happen?

[grimjeaper]

He knows I'm not human, promised not to kill me, and then came to my room late at night and exorcised me instead.

And locked me in a jar.

[blinktomissit]

---Are you serious, a fucking jar?! A shitty little jar?!

[Taako sounds delighted]

Don't---don't let him out! Keep him in there!

[grimjeaper]

Eat shit, Taako.

[He can't really be too mad, though. This was fucking stupid.]

[blinktomissit]

I gotta---I can't believe this, holy shit, is this like -- your crazy little family tradition now?! Getting stuck in random household objects?! Should I - should I get you guys a fuckin' assortment of decorative vases for Candlenights, just in case you wind up deciding to have a quiet few weeks in?

[grimjeaper]

Oh my god. I will end you, Taako, I will shove your head into one of those goddamn jars myself.

[blinktomissit]

Oh man you don't have to worry about me, I've got this neat little spell - you know, they're things that wizards use? You might have heard of them in passing before - called Soul Jar that lets me just go ahead and take care of doing that myself.

[grimjeaper]

Yeah, because me using spells on the goddamn hunter who just got another lich to burst out of a guy's chest Aliens style wouldn't get me also killed. At least this way my body's intact.

[blinktomissit]

Yeah, I mean, it's not like anyone's ever heard of a Self-targeted spell, right? That's just impossible.

[grimjeaper]

I don't have anything that protects me from being fucking blessed, that shit's gonna hurt no matter what.

[blinktomissit]

Evasion is definitely a faulty strategy, for sure, you're right. Nobody ever survived anything by just getting away from it. I for one always recommend facing every fight head-on with a steadfast refusal to employ any sneaky or stealthy tactics that might somehow save my life or help me in any imaginable way.

So you're happy being in there, right? Since we both agree that there's no possible spell that could have helped in any way at all. You can just wait out the rest of the adventure in there and the rest of us will take care of things.

[grimjeaper]

[There's the mental equivalent of angry sputtering.]

I am trapped in a holy fucking chamberpot, do you honestly think there is anything about this that says I actually wamt to be here?

[blinktomissit]

You said -- you said it was a jar!

[Taako's mental voice is back to delighted, and downstairs at a table he's giggling madly into his fist; clutching his stomach and uncaring of how he looks. He's had to explain away worse.]

[grimjeaper]

[If Barry could, he would face-palm so hard. He just handed that to Taako.]

Fuck.

[blinktomissit]

So you -- what, you want someone to come around and poke at all the chamberpots until they find one that - that explodes when they open it? Because, man, let me tell you: I think you're gonna have a hard time finding anyone willing to do that one. I think you're just gonna have to wait this one out.

[grimjeaper]

Uuuuugh

It's a metal chamber pot with a lid, that's all I know. So if anyone sees a fucking chamberpot with weird runes scratched into it, that's probably me. I dunno how many people this fucker's trapping in toilets.

[helborn]

Okay but how did he lock you into a jar? You're not like possessing it, right? How's he making it so you can't get out?

[grimjeaper]

I am not possessing the jar. [He's confident in that much.] It's got holy symbols and wards engraved on it, I can't actually touch it. He bound me inside it.

[helborn]

... Right, you're that kind of of undead thing. Do you know what color it is? I can see if I can find it...

[grimjeaper]

Looks like Anafiel might find me first. But hey, maybe next time.

[helborn]

Okay. Let me know if there's anything else you need.

[youandyoualone]

... Kushiel's rod.





Well. One supposes this is one way to find out if Psychic Detection looks for the body or the mind.

[grimjeaper]

That would be really useful.

[he is so tired]

[youandyoualone]

[Some minutes pass.]

Unless you think that he has buried your body in the ground behind the stables, I believe I have found your 'jar.'

[grimjeaper]

I think right now is a really bad time for people to be dragging bodies around, so. Sounds about right.

[youandyoualone]

And as graves go, this one is far too shallow for comfort.

[modernliterature]

Are you positive the body is still, ah, lounging around, and not being used by somebody else?

[grimjeaper]

I mean, if you see it walking around, lemme know, but the last time I saw it, it was empty. O-or like, unconscious, I guess.