synopsychic | [video]

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[After some time has passed Levi's voice filters across the network, accompanied by the only visual he can provide at this point: a top-down view of his now only partially tattooed hand.

He'll keep this brief:]

Looks like my little stowaway from the Grid can clean this shit up too. It takes a minute, but it's painless-- [a pause as the aforementioned stowaway floats toward Levi's face for its close-up, glowing a faint white and puffed proudly in all its pokey glory until he shoos it off to the side with a huff] Knock it off-- ...The Bit doesn't care what they say, and neither do I.

I'm not hard to find-- [Here he gives the general location of the building he's created, which by now is a bit better suited for company- there will be a pot of ~~non-nourishing~~ tea waiting on an end table for anyone stopping by for Bit-laser tattoo removal.

And the public portion almost ends there, but before Levi changes his psychic filter:]

...Tell me where you are if you can't make it out here. I'll find you, I guess.

[The rest is private, directed to Erwin in particular and as neutral as Levi can manage given the circumstances:]

You too.

[[ooc: Handwave, chat, go to him, have him come to you... Anything is good by me, including newbies asking for info if they haven't gotten the welcome speech yet. Dat vet thing. He can probably do that now.]]

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[Levi would be pretty surprised that it's precisely the surprise element itself that's bothering Erwin the most, even more than the actual situation. It probably should be what he expected given the way Erwin is, but it isn't. He isn't even sure what he expected.

Not this, probably, even though he'd done the exact same fucking thing. It's funny how time and experience changes things.

And more than that... They weren't like they were at the University, and this Jaunt didn't come with the years and years of emotional baggage to sort through that some of the others have... All things considered this might be the easiest possible introduction to the ways in which Jaunts can fuck with your head and your relationships and more. And maybe he's biased because it isn't the first time this has happened, but Levi's not understanding the full extent of the problem here. It's unfair, probably, but he can't help the way he feels about it.

They just fucked. It doesn't have to be more than that, even if an increasingly louder and more insistent part of Levi wants it to be.]

Yeah.

[...That's it. The affirmative and nothing more.]

[ it is, and the situation, and everything else - all rolled into a single, undeniable sense of needing time to think. granted, he's had that time. he's had plenty of time.

but it's not fading.

levi isn't affected by it, which makes his mind spin more, and while he knows that is the more professional way to react and what he should doing. this fact hangs over him just as much, and he credits the extra lifetimes and memories as to why he is needing the time, but- no. there's nothing else to it.

he hears the yeah in his head, the psychic network slowly becoming more normal for him, and doesn't expect levi to say much more. part of him almost wants to chuckle, realizing that levi must have picked up on the tension. ]

Have his removed. [ he actually does open his mouth, wherever it is he is, to say then get back to me, but cuts himself off. that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it? ] Get his update from the last Jaunt- we weren't near what triggered the liminal space,

[That's the thing about emotion that Levi hates the most- the fact that no logic, no amount of talking yourself in circles will do a god damn thing to stop them from gently nudging your sanity right out the door and setting up shop in your brain in the most infuriatingly insidious way. And for all that he's great at compartmentalizing- he has to be, with the role he plays- this isn't part of that skill set. It never was, and so while Erwin might think that Levi's been let off the hook for whatever reason... That isn't the case. At all.

It's just about something completely different.]

Already did that. [Gently ignores the Jaunt update because fuck if I know if they talked about that yet.] Mine are mostly gone too, so that leaves yours.

[POINTED PAUSE.]

So tell me where you are. There's something else we need to talk about.

[He realizes once he's said it how it must sound... But he really was talking about Mikasa.

...Stubbornly, though, he isn't gonna tell Erwin that. He'll just let it hang and see what happens. Of course he's picked up on the tension, and not just his own, either.]

[ and, honestly, erwin is usually much better at that compartmentalization than he is now. he credits this lack of control mostly to the new influx of memories - of an erwin that wasn't necessarily as controlled, or controlled in a different manner.

it bothers him that he can recognize that about himself, but still feels the pull - the instinct - to remain disconnected. for now, at the very least. until he stops feeling that heat rise in his chest from just hearing levi's voice. until he can close his eyes without seeing him spread out on his bed. ]

Mine can be dealt with at a later time. [ that's a no, levi. don't make him actually say it.

at least until levi mentions needing to talk and erwin pauses, tenses, momentarily doesn't breathe. what is levi going to mention? is there something about the jaunt? it actually surprises (and in a way, impresses) erwin to think that levi would be alright with bringing it up so easily. ]

What is it?

[ because he sure as hell doesn't want to talk about it in person. ]

[The compartmentalizing might be praiseworthy... But Erwin probably wouldn't be too impressed with the sorts of thoughts Levi'd tried in vain to have the Bit scour from his memories earlier. Things like touch and taste and smell, things he's missed more than he has any right to considering they weren't even his senses the memories had come from. Things like the sound of Erwin's voice, the feel of his sighs against his ear and the criss-cross of shadows the stupid ass expensive lighting had played across his bare skin as they'd laid together in the few moments they'd stopped to catch their breath...

Not things he's particularly ashamed of, at this point, but things that he knows serve him no purpose now that Erwin's recollections are coloured by the lack of the experiences they'd shared before, same as his own. It's easier now for him to push them away; it's not so easy to give Erwin the same space he'd argued for to learn to do the same.]

...I'd rather talk about it in person.

[And that's it, that's all he's getting because ~~two can play at this game~~ Levi refuses to take the damn hint.]

[ no, but probably wouldn't be, especially since they both seem to be trying to ignore and forget the exact same list of memories. things erwin didn't know he craved so intensely, if it weren't for the ever-present hole slowly growing in his gut. he'd never known what it was like to feel levi's hands against his skin, his body pressed against his own. he hadn't known what he'd been missing, and now?

now it eats away at him. pulls back every inch of skin and leaves him raw and unprotected. he doesn't want to see levi yet because this is still so potent, so real, and he wonders (no, he fears) what it will be like in person.

which is why he tenses, when he hears levi's tone. in person rings a bit louder than the rest, and erwin...well. ]

I have business. [ a lie, an out-right lie, but erwin can spin it on his own if need be. ] I'll find you once I finish.

[ and then the feed is cut, because erwin is a mature commanding officer. ]

Edited 2015-08-18 15:16 (UTC)

[Levi, on the other hand, knows exactly what he's missing, and the circumstances surrounding its lack are only making things worse. He and Erwin hadn't even gotten around to actually doing anything before the Trumps had fucked with his head, but even so... There'd been something there. An understanding, mutual interest...

And as far as he's concerned, having to pretend that there's nothing is a hell of a lot more aggravating than dealing with Infiltrator Shit; Levi's empathy stores for that situation have essentially evaporated by now. Add to that the fact that Erwin's reaction isn't at all what he'd expected and you have a recipe for even more frustration... And also probably disaster.]

Business? What the hell kind of-- [PSYCHIC DIAL TONE] Hey! Erwin! [Did he just hang up???

...S n a r l.

Sensing Levi's raging ~~juvenile~~ assfury at being psychically dismissed, U floats over and perches itself on the side of his head in a manner that is probably meant as a request to calm his tits.

Levi's having none of it. With an irritated swat, he shoves up from his own perch at the end of his bed and all but tears open an entry point into Hammerspace for his gear. What he wants to discuss is serious, god dammit, and while it's true he might be mentally blowing this out of proportion that fact is inarguable. Never mind that he could very well have just come out with it over the network- the fact that Erwin's blowing him off when there's a legitimate need isn't something he's used to dealing with.

There's no precedent for this, and so he's just going to have to default back to how he'd have handled it with anyone else: stalking right the fuck over and dealing with it once and for all. There's only one way to make this shit go away... And this is what he's decided is best.

Hold onto your ass, Erwin. One way or another Levi is coming for you.]

U-- Come here. We're going out for a while.

[He motions for the Bit, extending his arm and allowing it to curve around his wrist like a textured, bleeping bracelet. IT'S GO TIME NOW...]

[ but that's not really true for this last jump. erwin, presented with the situation in a more objective stance, can see why it happened. how. could see how being with levi in that context with a connection they'd built could happen. honestly, what is probably concerning him the most, is the fact that his mind keeps moving. and he can see this happening. and he doesn't have as much of an issue as he should have had. could have.

he disconnects the psychic call for the sake of his own distance. hearing levi report back to him making him realize how easy things could shift, how this all works on a normal scale. the fact that his reaction isn't go back to normal but would he see this as an advance, is this too much of how we acted then, why do i feel this urge even now.

erwin is very aware of just how angry levi will be, but he assumes (hopes) that it will be something he lets slide. a bigger part of erwin knows that's entireily futile, and he shouldn't be hoping for it, but here he is.

and, honestly, if levi does come to find him - he won't run. he probably won't even recognize the cowardice he showed in disconnecting the call. he just waits, and tries to work himself out of the lingering sense of wanting something more than he has ever had to deal with before. ]

[The objectivity had been the hardest part for Levi the first time, and the truth of it is that he'd tried to keep his distance for exactly the same reason Erwin is now. Their memories from the University had been so impossibly close to their real lives that even when they'd regained their real selves, Levi's mind had wandered to the possibilities too, supplied him with a million and one scenarios, reasons, justifications... Of course they'd ended up that way- it'd been inevitable under those circumstances.

And Levi's had more time than he wants to come too the conclusion that it could be inevitable here, too. And that an ever-growing part of him wants it to be.

But Erwin doesn't see it that way, obviously. Whatever difference there is in his mind between this time and last time has sent him in the other direction, the polar opposite of what'd happened before. And while Levi knows Erwin, there are parts of his mind that he can't grasp, whatever machinations that keep him ten steps ahead of the rest of the game, always... And ahead of Levi, too. Normally he's willing to brush it off because of the trust between them, but this is different. This time he wants to know, as much as he can, where Erwin's head is. So much of his time is spent playing off of Erwin and plans he can only half understand... It's hard to do that now, when he doesn't know how he should react.

And so instead of the usual level-headed response, the space, the maturity, Erwin gets Levi tracking down the best person for the job and then tracking down Erwin himself. Armin's skills have proved useful in the past, and this time they lead him right to Erwin's door, Bit in tow and a scowl on his face.

At least he's doing Erwin the courtesy of knocking.]

Erwin.

[...Knocking and not waiting for a response, that is.

HOWDY, COMMANDER HE'S JUST ROLLIN UP IN HERE and crossing his arms, entire being all tense surliness.]

You manage to pinch one out yet or what?

[~~Pinnacle of maturity right here: juvenile assfury and shit jokes.~~]

[ he can see it. he can. and that's the problem he's having the most of all. he blinks and gets glimpses of skin, of dark eyes, of hands, and sometimes it is in the context of devils and angels and heavy curtains and firelight, and other times? other times it is simply levi, stretched out across his bed, and erwin feels that same urge to run his fingers along his spine.

sure, he doesn't quite understand the emotional intimacy that levi has from before. maybe, given that level of intimacy, erwin would have been a bit more forthcoming with his own - until previously, hidden - emotions. but as it stands, he sees it as only physical, entirely physical, and that is the side of himself he's not sure he wants to know.

erwin resettles in his small space - an apartment, or a home, or maybe an empty office. he's not quite sure where it is he is, but he's here, off the streets, trying to find his footing amongst the memories. the emotions. he gets lost in his head for however long it takes before the knocking begins, and as soon as it does, erwin can't even bring himself to be surprised.

which is why he doesn't exactly answer, at first, expecting it the moment levi throws open the doors and walks in, turning from where he'd been originally sitting to face the door. the poop joke doesn't phase him either - it is so painstaking levi that it almost hurts - and erwin sighs. ]

Armin, I'm assuming. [ as far as how levi got here at all. his eyes fall to his forearms, the stretches of ink along the veins. ] I'm really quite alright.

I didn't give him much other choice, [Levi confirms, doing his best to keep Armin from being any more involved in this than he already is. However Erwin's feeling about him right now, Levi at least trusts him to be professional about this much.

Then again, he psychically hung up on him, so... Maybe that faith is misplaced. ~~Says the guy who just dragged a kid into a distinctly unprofessional situation between his superior officers. Tiny scowling teapot meet very large eyebrow'd kettle...~~

There's a pause during which time Levi takes a good long look at the words he can make out scrawled across Erwin's skin, the faces, the accusations... And at which point U takes Levi's blatant staring as his cue to float over with a robotic chirp to nudge at Erwin's arm for permission. Clearly, this little thing has precisely zero fucks to give about the rather obvious tension in the air right now. Let him help you, Levi's Friend! Yes! Yes!]

Just let it do what it wants. It won't take long... And neither will what I have to report.

[Where he normally would have made himself right at home and settled down closer to where Erwin's sitting, at the moment Levi only hovers rigidly by the door, crossing his arms against the urge. He doesn't know what he'd do if he got too close, or what he'd want to do. Even from here it isn't hard to imagine the warm press of Erwin's thigh against his, and it's even easier to recall the weight of it between his knees...

Maybe... This was a bad idea.

But Levi's just stubborn enough- and pissed off enough- that he isn't going anywhere. He holds his position.]

[ erwin actually feels himself smiling a bit at that. he can't imagine armin would have put up too much of a fight as far as levi's determination was concerned. erwin doesn't blame armin at all, more amused that levi would go that far to find him. professionalism wasn't so much the issue here as erwin didn't want to make it easy for levi.

he didn't want to be found.

when he sees the bit, though, erwin can't stop himself from smiling fondly - he remembers it, and the familiarity (as small and misplaced as it may be) puts him in a marginally better mood. he sits back, then, a kind of silent permission, as he rolls up the sleeves of his arm.

levi's comment draws his attention back up, though, and erwin nods once - the smile falling - as his eyes turn towards the bit. he has to keep them away from levi, he realizes, the sound of his voice and his presence in the room enough to heighten erwin's memories. ]

Go ahead. [ whether or not he's talking to the bit or levi, we may never know. ]

[Professionalism clearly was not in the cards for this situation... It rarely is where Levi's concerned anyway, even if he does usually extend Erwin more courtesy in that department than he does most others.

This isn't one of those times, though. ~~At least the brats aren't involved enough to bear witness to the extreme insubordination going on here. It's a blessing, truly.~~

At least U's making progress in thawing out the iceberg that is Erwin Smith, since Levi seems to be having so trouble. The fondness doesn't go unnoticed...

But neither is the way the slight smile fades too quickly, or the fact that neither of them seem able to meet each other's eyes. This is hard. Best to get out with it, then:]

Mikasa's here, [he says as U folds itself over Erwin's remaining arm, bleep-blooping away as it chomps the ink off one 'pixel' at a time.] And she's experienced more than the both of us, back home.

[SEE?? LOOK HOW IMPORTANT THAT WAS, ERWIN. He certainly didn't come to, you know... Talk about the Jaunt.

Really.

...]

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that icon is so fucking funny HAVE SOME MATCHING CRAY FACE

oh my god

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