Stop Having Fun, Guys

[failgoyle]

[It doesn't take all that long after the return to Liminal Space before someone starts flipping out over the psychic network. The only delay might possibly be his trying to figure out how to do this, a few particulars about his new surroundings, and getting his thoughts in order, though it's not like he spent that much time on the latter.]

Okay, you know what? You know what? Everyone who told me this wasn't the work of the True Fae was wrong. So, so wrong! Stop deluding yourselves! I don't care what you call 'em, Trumps or whatever, they're still True Fae! Then there's goblin fruit all over the damn place in here, and if that's not more evidence this is all the work of the True Fae, then I don't know what is! There is nothing that exists out there that thinks this sort of screwing around with people's heads and bodies and making random people think they're something else entirely and leaving freaking magic fruit lying around is a good idea!

Because giving a guy a pop-off arm and genetic hallucinations and hallucinations from all the pop-off arm and all the other tech is just such a great idea to someone out there, sure, sure. Hell, is this even happening right now? Are we even really back? Or am I just dreaming all this again? Because that's totally a thing that could be happening right now! I could be ignoring something on fire and venting us all into space for this!

And I still have the damn arm! Loose. Sitting here. My flesh-and-blood one came back. So if anyone needs a hand, there you go. There you go.

Comments

[happyhalloween]

Witches, [Maria corrects.]

[failgoyle]

No, no, True Fae.

I was there. I know.

[happyhalloween]

I am a Witch. And they're just like particularly old and powerful witches. Like Featherine.

[failgoyle]

Witches don't have enough firepower to bend reality!

[awitchdidit]

I am quite sure both you and my apprentice have the right of it. It's merely a question of terminology. And thematics, of course.

[failgoyle]

No, no, no, True Fae are totally different! They're not human, they're beyond human, they're just these hugely powerful, uncaring, things!

[awitchdidit]

And who's to say that Witches aren't? The truly powerful ones, that can spin a world out of nothingness...or back into nothingness just as easily.

[failgoyle]

Because anything that powerful wouldn't have gotten sucked into this crap with the rest of us!

[pseudologist]

Two things: use your indoor voice, and most worlds we've met have legends of something that delights in screwing with us mere mortals for shits and giggles. Most of those somethings aren't your fae.

...And if you're that scared of magic fruit, what were you doing messing with it in the first place?

[failgoyle]

I wasn't messing with it! Did I say I was messing with it? I left all that stuff where it was, I swear!

[pseudologist]

Then how do you know it actually works like your...what did you call it? Goblin fruit?

[failgoyle]

I...just...you can tell from looking at it!

[There is an awful lot of guilt coming through in that psychic message there.]

Look inside these pumpkins! Normal pumpkins don't contain space pockets!

[Just going to try not to think too hard about how much he could get for something like that at a Goblin Market...]

[what_do_you_see]

What are true fae?

[failgoyle]

They're basically hugely powerful beings with a complete and total lack of anything like a soul or compassion or logical ethics or anything like that, and they like yanking mortals from their homes and enslaving them to become and do horrible things, pretty much.

[what_do_you_see]

Old fairy stories. What are untrue fae?

[failgoyle]

They're not stories, they're real.

...and it's more like True Fae with capital letters, and then just regular old fae without the capital letters. Those are people who have been touched by the True Fae, had some power rub off on them, and then just try to go about their lives after escaping from the True Fae. Not the same things.

[wholeheaded]

[ oh for the love of...]

Jules! Hey, slow down a sec, what's this about the arm-thing?

[failgoyle]

Okay, so, back there in space, when I...I dunno, wasn't myself? I had this...robot arm...thing? And it was faulty, and it would pop off if I got nervous, and it...just...I still have it!

I mean, I've got my arm back, but then I have this random severed robot arm.

It's kind of creepy.

[wholeheaded]

[ ...that is a series of wacky calamities and Ambrose is refusing to laugh because, objectively, that's all terrifying. he might get back around the True Fae stuff eventually but one thing at a time. ]

That sounds creepy, I'm sorry. Glad you got your actual arm back at least? I was a synthetic - a Gorgon synthetic - and sorta stayed that way.

[forcechanic]

[She recognizes the voice. And more so the demeanour.]

But hey. At least nothing's on fire, right?

[failgoyle]

...we do have that.

Yes.

Nothing is on fire.

But that still doesn't change the fact that there are True Fae here!

[forcechanic]

We already knew they were interdimensional kidnappers. It doesn't really matter what they're called if they're managing that.

[She's still disturbingly calm about kidnappers]

[itsananimalthing]

[Here, Jules, have a familiar, tired-sounding mental voice using a familiar nickname in answer to your rant.]

Oh, shut up, rabbit. What the fuck does it matter who or what they are? It's not gonna change that we gotta deal with it all. At least you didn't get to get stuck with the horns and the hallucinations afterwards. And you could have.

[failgoyle]

It's a little late for the horns.

[There's a long pause.]

...you kept the hallucinations?

[itsananimalthing]

Prize for the kid, he got it right. I kept the whole thing. Still a diabolin. Haven't worked out how to change back yet.