...who let him even use the network, honestly

[deconsecrate]

[ Travelers, remember when you were recently informed about a terrifyingly organized group of dragons? And how this information was imparted in a manner grave, suitably solemn and noble and stuff?

...this probably won't be anything like that, just as a precaution. ]

Not to interrupt anyone's plans for the evening, but--

[ Hawke does not have any of them fancy image-sharing skills, so you're all just going to have to take his word on this. ]

I probably should let someone know there's herd of dragons on the move here, making a terrible mess of the tournament-grounds between Rivergard & Westgard. Bit bigger than the last ones, although not as many! Thank the Maker for small favors.

Does anyone know what you call a venery of dragons, by the way? I've always wondered*.

*[ no he hasn't ]

Comments

[deconsecrate]

I, on the other hand, am positively poleaxed.

[ No he isn't. ]

[blackhand]

You sound it.

[Not that he knows what Hawke's talking about. But it doesn't matter to him right now.]

I'm babysitting right now, but I'll see if I can't go find the bandits to grab someone. [A beat.] Doesn't sound like this is a group of the small ones, either.

[deconsecrate]

[ Does it ever matter, Garrett? ]

No, they're more ...horsey. They'd probably still die if you stabbed them, though! I hear a lot of living things do that.

[blackhand]

[A huff.]

Enjoy that, then. I'm not exactly the killing type. I doubt arrows could do much anyway.

[deconsecrate]

I can say from personal experience that that's not true. You just don't like fun.

Probably for the best. Can't have your face cracking, after all.

[blackhand]

Your definition of fun is different from mine. Trust me, you'll know when I'm enjoying myself.

[deconsecrate]

Do try to give some warning first. I'm much too young for a heart attack. You could make a flappy hand gesture or something!

[blackhand]

And where would the fun in that be? I'd get to miss seeing you nearly fall on your face.

[See, Hawke. He cares. Really. This is how he shows he does.]

[deconsecrate]

So your idea of fun is 'sadism.' I'll keep that in mind when birthdays roll around. What if I got you a pillow with a face on it? Hours of enjoyable stabbing.

[ Oh, Hawke can tell. Truly. ]

[blackhand]

More like 'watching people make fools of themselves.' But if you confuse that for sadism then who am I to judge?

Also. I don't have a birthday.

[Nyeh nyeh that's what happens when you're born and dropped off at an orphanage and have no parents, you don't know what day or year you were born.]

[deconsecrate]

That is sadism, my glowering friend.

Maker's sake, everyone has a birthday. You may not celebrate the anniversary, sure, but even if you sprang fully formed from a rock - and I don't discount the possibility - you've got a birthday.

Obviously this will make your surprise party just that much more unexpected.

[blackhand]

I don't really see a point to it- you're another year older. That's it.

Isn't that the whole thing about a surprise party? Usually you don't tell the person on the receiving end about it.

[deconsecrate]

Not if they know when their birthday is, you don't. But in your case ...from now on, any corner you turn could have a cake behind it.

[blackhand]

I'm sure you'll find the time to make one.

[Hawke, please, you're in the middle of a Jaunt and food cannot be made in Liminal Space. Good luck.]

[deconsecrate]

Spoilsport.

[ He's not actually sticking out his tongue ... or is he, it's a psychic conversation. You don't know. ]

[blackhand]

Now that's a nickname I'm familiar with.

[It's one of the nicer ones, at least. Hawke will definitely note the amusement that comes with that statement.]

[deconsecrate]

Mine's Chuckles.

[ He wears it with such pride, too. ]

[blackhand]

If we were in the City, they'd call you a loudmouth. That and throw you into the Keep. [A beat.] Well, when there was still a Keep around.

[deconsecrate]

Sounds a lot like home. Would this imprisonment be for my cunning wit, or some other offense I commit just by breathing?

[ You know, like being a mage. ]

[blackhand]

Would you be surprised if I said both?

[You get killed for stealing a loaf of bread, shot in the back by a crossbow bolt. Not to mention any kind of opposition gets you hauled away to gods know where.]

[deconsecrate]

Not really. I did live in Kirkwall.

That means nothing to you, of course; you'll have to take my word for it that the 'Free Marches' are freer for some people than others.

[blackhand]

I'll put it this way- the City is no rose garden. Unless you're high society, you're as good as dirt.

[There's a pause, this is something he's told people in the past.]

It makes my job all the more fun, honestly. Keeps me on my toes.

[deconsecrate]

That's any city, isn't it?

[ No. You two just have canons with horrifying poverty gaps. ]

So if I want to see you smile I just have to find you something to steal. Got it.

[blackhand]

Apparently.

[More like the worlds just didn't want to make anyone happy. That works.]

It's one of the few things.

[Neria knows more, but she's had the advantage of knowing him longer. Hawke will just have to learn over time.]

[deconsecrate]

At least it's consistent.

[ Small favors. His voice could dehydrate the Amazon Basin. ]

As are you, I might add.