synopsychic | [Jaunt] Consequences are hard...

[Just in case there wasn't enough whining on the network, here's Jules again! If he could make this entire thing sound like he were sniffling and upset, he would.]

So I got shot and now I'm in prison again, and I wasn't even doing anything, I was gonna bring the wheelbarrow back, and why'd she have to shoot me, that was entirely uncalled for, and my wings are stupid and useless and I can't fly out of here and I was too slow to portal out of here but now I can't even move very fast because she shot me, and the only thing I've got going for me is that I already lost my tail and it hasn't grown back yet otherwise I would have lost it again, but it doesn't matter because I got shot and why'd she have to go and do that, that wasn't a very nice thing to do, and she never got me a doctor and I probably need one because I got shot in the freaking leg and it hurts like a bitch, and I also want a lawyer, because that was police brutality, so if someone wants to get me one of those fancy TV lawyers that call themselves Hammers or Strongarms or whatever, and maybe a file in a cake or only not because she'd probably shoot the poor, defenseless little cake...

[Some of the thoughts and words might be a little wobbly, as though whoever's doing the thinking here is just a litlte drunk...and that would not be an entirely incorrect assumption to make. He's also going to keep right on rambling on in a single run-on sentence like this until someone shuts him up, so sorry.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If there's a party, there will be plenty of non-alcoholic options.

But I couldn't possibly screw anything up at a party!

[Overconfident lies. He could find a way. Unintentionally.]

Parties are where the vast majority of alcohol-related screw-ups happen.

Oh, come on, like I'm the only guy who's woken up next to girls he doesn't know...

[Jules, that is not helping your case.]

You're not going to convince me. My family runs a liquor store, and on top of that one of my overlays ran a bar that catered to super-mortal metabolisms. If this is what you do when you actually finish a drink, you're not getting another from me.

Not even part of one?

And how long after getting that would you try to talk me out of the rest? Besides, it's not like you've proven you can handle that responsibly either.

I can too be responsible! Really!

While you're drunk?

Prove it. Still no guarantee I'll reconsider.

How am I supposed to prove any sort of responsibility in a jail cell?

...give me a goldfish and I won't kill it on accident?

After you're out of the jail cell, obviously. How are you supposed to get a goldfish in a jail cell?

But you told me to prove it. While I'm drunk. And I probably won't sober up until I'm outta here.

I didn't tell you to prove it while you're drunk, and I certainly didn't mean while in this particular state of drunkenness. You want to show you can hold your liquor and not do anything stupid, you can get a drink another time, from someone not me, and do it then.

But if you won't give me any, then no one else will give me any, and if I want any more, then I'd have to steal it, and then that would get me right back where I started again!

[At least he's going to realize all the problems with this statement when he's sober again.]

Or you could, you know.

Buy it.

Oh, right, right! Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

You just now remembered this?

Well, maybe I'd have remembered it sooner if I had any money!

Because it's not like I can find an ATM out here in this hellhole, and all I have is my debit card!

[Someone is getting cranky.]

I doubt this is the kind of place that uses paper money anyway.

Well, they sure as hell don't use plastic, either!

Well, no, I doubt they've heard of the stuff. And I take it you didn't bother to check your pockets for starter currency, either? The Trumps do that sometimes.

They...give us money...?

[There's a long pause, immediately followed by a round of psychic swearing. Guess what he just found?]

[Naoki's not laughing.

...On the network, anyway.] How else do you expect to blend in without raising a fuss?

...pickpocketing? Subsisting on the kindness of strangers?

...Even if you'd known about the money, would your first line of thought not have been stealing?

[Look, it's telling that his first alternative was 'pickpocketing.']

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