synopsychic | No time for goodbyes

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No time for goodbyes

[Once the new Liminal had settled in, Jean had woken up - expecting to find a certain someone from his room. After trying to find her and contacting her multiple times, Jean is getting panicky. His voice comes in through Sensory Livestreaming, full of panic and desperation.]

Sasha! Please tell me you're here. Please, you can't be gone. You can't... you can't go back to that place.

I'm begging you... Sasha.... please answer me. Please.

You can't. There's nothing for you... at home... but here you have...

You have me.

So... please...

[Towards the end his mental voice started cracking and by the end of it, he's crying. At least he manages to cut of the ability so that he doesn't cry all over the network for too long.]

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I'll be honest and say I've been gone for a while, but I don't know anyone named Sasha, so you might be out of luck on that count.

[ beat ]

Hope you find her though. Him? Whatever.

[ Oh no they fucking didn't--

Mikasa's heart is breaking for him as she listens through that. Her own memories of this place go far into a short visit on an airport or something months before she and Jean came here to stay a year ago... So it's easy to guess what might have happened.

And while she listens, she's already making her way to his room to check if he is there. Arriving just in time for Jean to finish it... and rushing to hug him as soon as she's there.]

[ You know what? Korra is trying to think of even something to say/think, but there's just... Nope, that's too sad and she can't thinkk of anything to say. Besides, he is a friend, so she has a better idea. So she comes to find him, looking at him crying for a moment and trying to think what to say again now when she's near. She doesn't care if she shouldn't walk into his room just like that right now, she's already there.]

Hey, Jean... [ That works? Hey, it's saying something so that he won't be too surprised when he's suddenly getting a hug. ]

[There's a knock on his door not long after the message goes out.]

She was here just before the Liminal changed... but I guess she's... left.

[He doesn't want to admit it, but now that he's had some time to calm down... it's time to start facing the reality.]

Did you return from a dungeon?

[The hug is well received and Jean clings a little to Mikasa's shirt once he realizes who she is. He's obviously shaken and this hug was really needed.]

Is this a punishment...? Was I... too happy...?

[ Yeah, she figures he might need the hug and she's not leaving anywhere from him. One hand pets his back. ]

What? No, there's no such thing as punishment for being too happy... [Even if it feels like that sometimes.] I'm sorry...

[Jean hadn't moved when he heard the door. He knew that if someone walked in like that, it had to be someone he knew and trusted. At least he didn't have enemies, not with Annie and Reiner gone as well. He hadn't made any enemies so far.

When he hears Korra's voice, he turns slightly and just leans into the hug he's given. He doesn't say anything for now. Just hugging Korra back is enough for him.]

[It takes quite a while before there's a reply.]

It's open.

That's definitely how this feels like since... I... we... we got really close over the time she was here.

[There's a heavy sigh.]

And now she's back home where she...

[He can't even say it, really.]

Edited (icon change) 2016-07-06 16:29 (UTC)

[She walks in, deeply concerned.]

Jean-san? Is there anything I can do?

Hey...

[Jean lifts his head to look at the door and then shakes his head at the question.]

I don't know. I just... feel so miserable. Even more so than when... Captain Levi disappeared.

May I join you?

[She walks over, a couple steps closer to the bed.]

I understand, however. Kanji was here for a short time... my Kanji, the one who went through the same things I did, but he left as well. It.... stings.

[ Yes good, she just pulls him closer and hugs him tighter there. She's not really sure what to say either. At least he explained their world to her earlier, so she doesn't need to ask about it now. ]

I'm so sorry... ... [ if she really left... ] If there's anything else I can do...

[ ~~It's the Horrible Luck In Life curse for being friends with Mikasa Ackerman~~ ]

I noticed... [ it's part of the reasons why she rushed here so fast. ] But it's not a punishment...

[ more reasons why she was hoping Sasha would stay around and she's not the only one, who she was hoping to stay...

yeah ummm, she's not going to even try convincing him that she might be okay back home. She MIGHT be but it's not a good place to have possibly fatal injuries. ]

I'm sure she's glad that she got to spend at least some time here with everyone.

[ That doesn't help, she knows. Repeating she's sorry and feeling guilty for things she hasn't even experienced back home herself doesn't feel like a good idea either. What's she supposed to say here? She has no idea. ]

...Sasha's gone too? I- FUCK! Why do they leave us here when we still have something to go back to, and take away everyone who doesn't!?

[Yeah, Sasha's not the only person that's gone missing. If the wording and the anger isn't enough, the rough quality to Eren's voice that suggests he's already been crying should be.]

[Naoki doesn't bother answering on the network - why do that when his friend is clearly hurting and could probably use some company?

As such, it's not too long before there's a knock on Jean's door.] Can I come in?

[Jean took a few deep breaths to calm himself down a little and just buried his face into Mikasa's shoulder. It's hard to calm down and maybe that's okay for now...]

Ye... ah. Not that we most likely remember anything about this place back home... but at least she seemed happy? [He swallows.] I hope she was happy.

[Jean nods and moves a bit to give space for her to sit down.]

Are your Kanji and the one here that different?

[Jean shook his head.]

This is just fine. Just being like this is fine for now.

[It's clear they're both having a rough time and it's affecting Jean enough to not yell back. Just wince at Eren's voice yelling in his. Crying does wonders for headaches.]

I don't know. I just... don't know.

[It takes a while before any answer can be heard from inside. Jean just needs to collect himself a little.]

Yeah.

[He does, stopping just inside the door - hugs aren't something he does for just anyone, so he's unlikely to initiate one, but at least he can be here in person.]

Sis is gone too. Even if Inaba's never been as screwed up as your world... I know part of the feeling, at least.

[ Nope, he doesn't need to calm down at all. She's here for comforting him and just hugging tighter for now. ]

No, we don't remember anything... She was really happy, I can tell you that much for sure.

... It could be just serious but not fatal.

[That comes out anyway. Yes, she knows they're in the middle of a fight there. No, there won't be time to get help for her when situations get turning into worse and worse shitty hole of hell all the time, so it doesn't really help. Much.]

Okay. Then we'll be here just like this as long as you need this.

[ She's an extremely affectionate cuddler and hugger after all, this is fine. Pulling him closer and cuddling a bit is also fine, right? She'll be here. Hugging, cuddling, petting his arm and back and just letting him take comfort in her company. ]

I'm... sorry to hear that. At least you got to see her here, even if she was from a different version? Even if losing her again still hurts.

[Mikasa raised a good point of Sasha being able to see her friends here and Jean got to talk with her as well, when he thought he never could anymore.]

How much do you know about our world?

It'll be all right. [It's certainly nowhere near as crushing as it would've been this time last year. Of course, then, the fact that she was from a different timeline would've stung quite a bit more, too.]

Not a whole lot. I've gathered you have something of a monster problem, but while Levi-san was a good friend, he didn't talk abut it much and I didn't ask.

[There's a small, weak smile at the thought of Sasha being happy while being here, as well as a tear in the corner of his eye. A happy one.

The smile fades rather fast, but it would have happened even without the subject going back to the situation at home. Any happiness he has is quickly drained away right now.]

In that situation and with our medical knowledge, she will most likely get permanent injuries, even if she'd survive.

[Closeness and cuddling are definitely alright with him. Right now, he's after comfort and both of those are definitely giving him that. It's strange how nice it feels to be in her arms. How close he had gotten to her as well.

Close. She got close to Sasha and now she was already gone.]

... please don't disappear. [It's a small, shaky request upon the realization he just made.]

[ Smile is good. She tries to do the same, only managing a little curve of her lips but it's.... Something. She feels horrible for making that smile fade away so fast even though she knows that it wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway. ]

And that's true, ~~[ then Jean can become her errand boy ]~~ but it'd still be better than being dead.

[ Don't even ask her how she'd rather have Carla around in a wheelchair or anything than dead. Could she lift a fallen house these days? Who knows. Eren could. Mikasa swallows. ]

Sorry, we should ....talk about something else.

[ or not talk at all, silent comfort is fine too because she's just horrible with most words today. ~~How soon until she rushes to Eren instead~~ ]

[ Korra is so easy with letting friends get physically close to her, that the speed with it just makes perfect sense to her. It happens all the time back home too and with how she's more open about all the stuff these days along with curiosity of other worlds, it just makes it more and more easy.

... Her eyes soften a little at that. She almost chokes into something. Umm, she should be with her girlfiend at home right now. She has her own wedding coming up. She misses her so much ...but this isn't the time to tell him about happy relationships.

Besides ... People need her here. Or if they don't, well then she just wants to stay here to help people especially because her powers can help a ton. Simple logic. ]

Hey, I'm not going anywhere. Not now and not for a really long time, okay? I'll be here. [ Though she can see why he's so worried about that. ]

Good. I'll eventually be as well, I think.

[It might take a while, but he needed to keep moving.]

Do you want to know? It's not a very pretty story, but I'm not opposed to talking about it.

It's upsetting to lose people like that, but they wouldn't want you to mope about it forever. Don't overwork yourself, either.

[What? he's used to how Kanji deals with this kind of thing.]

Will talking about it help, or just make things hurt worse right now?

[Being badly injured was better than being dead. That mean she'd still have hope to get better in the future. Even if staying still and not having all the moving capacity would be hard on someone as energetic as her.

Changing the subject at this point is a good idea though, since they have no idea of what the future will be like at home.

He can hear Eren by this point, calling out to him about Sasha being gone. So much for the subject change, but because of what he sounds like, Jean looks at Mikasa.]

... he needs you. You should go find him. [Without a doubt, Mikasa heard Eren too, so she knows why he says that.] I'll be fine.

[Jean will probably think about what he said later - how they all had a place to go to, no matter harsh their worlds were. Korra had sounded like her situation was good at home, so he wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to go home.

Right now, though, just hearing she's not going anywhere calms him down. He couldn't deal with more people, who are important to him, disappearing on him. Korra was important to him, despite not knowing her for that long. It's the meetings and experiences that made her as important as she was. The things she did for Eli, the way she healed him and came to the dungeon with him... just everything.]

Thank you. [There's a small, relieved sigh accompanied with the word.] You're a very important friend to me.

[There's a quiet, neutral toned chuckle.]

Yeah. I think she'd be mad at me if she found out I shut down completely and didn't taste everything she can't.

[Looks like he'll have to try different kind of foods for her. As long as he doesn't become chubby Jean.]

It might help. There are still things on my mind that might be good to say out loud.

[That's one way to look at it, certainly.]

Then go ahead. It's not like we don't have time.

[ She's getting ready to go by letting go of Jean and getting back on her feet with the speed of light as soon as she hears Eren.

She doesn't need those words from Jean to be about to go find Eren, though she is very glad that he understands. Not that she'd ever doubt why he wouldn't understand at this point, when he has known them for years.

So there's a quick, soft and sad smile from Mikasa to silently tell Jean to take care of himself. He has other friends, who'll be there for him.

No words. Just that smile and it fades away too before Mikasa literally runs away, rushing to find Eren faster than ever. ]

So, the basis of the story is that all of humanity lives inside 50 metres tall walls. There are three layers of walls and they have been made to keep titans - androgynous, naked giants that eat humans - away.

Unfortunately, the first wall was broken by two unique titans and our living space became smaller. We started suffering from food shortages and the military sent some of the population onto a suicide mission to reduce our numbers.

[It was a harsh time. Not that it was much better right now, to be quite honest.]

The survey corps had traveled outside the walls even before the breach with the intention of finding a way to reclaim our lands. That's the group everyone from my world currently here, is from - the group that Captain Levi is also in.

[Jean smiles back at Mikasa, with a soft and sad smile, and he keeps the smile as long as she's there. Once she's away, he lets the smile go and lies on his bed. Without a warning, there are tears and he covers his face with his arm.]

I'll be fine.

[He repeats to himself.]

So you've pretty much never not been fighting, other than here. [And even here, sometimes. That more depends on the jaunt at hand, though.]

And you're worried about everyone going back to... that, or something worse than usual?

Yeah. Ever since I joined the military it's been one fight after another. Originally I planned to join the Military Police and live safely inside the deepest wall.

[There's a quiet laugh. Does he regret not taking that path? Sometimes. But not as much he would have regretted going with it, after everything that happened.]

... our group is currently fighting to retake Wall Maria. There are two traitors among the people we're fighting. Those who used to be in the same squad as us. They were our friends.

Right now the battle isn't going very well either.

And there's a very real chance your friend won't make it. That'd upset just about anyone, especially when you can't do anything from here and maybe couldn't do much more there, either.

Still... at least you had a little while. It's better than nothing.

That sucks.

Yeah, if that's what you call those places where you get to wallow in your internal angst and shit until people come to your rescue.

[ Yep, they've been through a lot in a short amount of time to make this into a strong friendship instead of how it could be in its first steps ... And she'd do the things she did with Eli anytime again with him too. Too bad jaunts probably mess that plan very badly. ]

[She smiles warmly at his thank you and gives a soft laugh at words about friendship.]

And you're a very important friend to me too. ...You'll get through this, you know. We'll help. [ all of his friends here, not just Korra. ]

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