(001)

[adjustable]

You know...

[It may be a voice some haven't heard for a while... because, well, obviously he was Infiltrating all this time. But maybe you're partying with pirates or so on after everyone's gotten on the island when you hear this.]

...for once in my life, I'd like a normal tropical vacation. First it was bears an' crazy robots an' killing and now it's pirates and krakens an' me bein' a mermaid or Thalassian or whatever all this time... Which is weird, oi, and I don't got my normal legs back completely. And my body's still sore from that stupid squid flingin' me around. Tch.

[It'll be fine by the time they leave this place, right...? He hopes so. But there's a thread of that uncertainty in the mental tone of voice. He shakes it off in favour of excitement, though.]

But this is a good end, yeah?! We did an all right job?!

Hey, someone should get me a coconut, by the way. I seriously wanna eat one before we get dragged outta this place. An' it ain't easy to try and climb trees with these legs.

[And, in a quieter mental aside:] Is it seriously okay to hang around with pirates...? It'll be fine, right...?

Comments

[souredsweet]

It's... sizeable?

[Everything looks big in Kaoru's hands okay he's like 5 feet tall.]

If it's too small, I can find a different one.

[adjustable]

[You're so teeny Kaoru...]

Sizeable, huh-- that's fine! I'll just judge it when you get here!

[How reassuring.]

[souredsweet]

[at the perfect height for kicking kneecaps...]

All right. I should be there soon enough... [Since Kaoru's been moseying around basically this entire time. Coconuts are pretty easy to get when you have both of your legs!! Whodathunkit.

In about a minute or two, Souda will hear:]

Ah— I think I've found you. [Followed by a waaave in the distance from one nerd who is definitely holding a coconut.]

[adjustable]

[EXCELLENT THE NERD HAS BROUGHT HIS COCONUT.

Kaoru will get waved back at by a pretty excited merman.] Yeah! Over here, over here!

[yes good servant bring him what he wanted]

[souredsweet]

[FRIEND IS SO LUCKY that Kaoru is totally the nicest and most subservient person on the face of the planet.....

BUT YES over he will trot, and once he gets close enough, he'll hold out the coconut!]

Here. It's the biggest one that I could find... [And it actually is pretty large, even by the standards of normal hands!!]

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[Oh yes the most subservient and the absolute nicest and he'd never do terrible things, right? Right. Souda takes the coconut eagerly.]

Ooooohhhh!! [An impressed sound.] Nice find, ...

[He pauses, mouth working at empty air in place of a name...]

...Nagumo! Yeah. [He didn't... forget. Shush.]

[souredsweet]

[NEVER EVER. That said, he still doesn't remember this guy's name, so he'll just smile and act cool MAYBE HE WON'T NOTICE...]

I'm glad that it's suitable. Will you need help opening that?

[Or is he going to go the route of the otter and just bash it against a rock hopefully until it cracks open...]

[adjustable]

[that is

exactly what he's planning on doing

tbh]

Nah, I got it! [He hefts the coconut in his hand and smacks it down against a nearby rock.

...nothing yet. Souda makes a face. HE'LL JUST DO IT HARDER.]

[souredsweet]

[WOW how did he call this... He'll just watch Souda and his Coconut Struggle™ for a few quiet seconds, brow furrowing, wondering whether or not he should say anything or just let him keep floundering. One of these options is more hilarious than the other...]

...Do you need help?

[Tragically it's not the option that will earn him good citizen brownie points.]

[adjustable]

No, I got this. I said I did.

[Souda huffs lightly BANG BANG BANG this is not working for some reason why is this not working? He eyes the place he's been hitting.]

Why ain't this workin'... Maybe it'd work better with a bigger rock?

[souredsweet]

[SOUDA... No okay, he's already reached his Helpful Civilian quota, he doesn't have to ask if Souda wants help again. That's the arbitrary rule he's just settled on...]

Ah... Perhaps you're simply striking the wrong place?

[Even that is being a little more helpful than he'd like... He hopes Souda picks an even harder spot to crack, god.]

[adjustable]

Is there a better place to hit it...?

[IT'S A MYSTERY but Souda will solve it.

Bang bang bang.]

[souredsweet]

There might be.

[LIKE AT THE TOP WHERE THE COCONUT WAS FORMED... But he will wait to see if Souda figures that out on his own... And also suggest some dumb things in the meantime.]

Maybe if you tried dropping the rock on it instead?

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Nah, you're not gonna get enough force behind it that way, right?

[Oh he's not completely dumb he's just a little dumb. Souda eyes the rock and shifts his stance slightly. Er, well, as much as he can with a fin.

It'd be easier to get power behind it if he had feet... But he swings down the cocnut, and there's a dull crack.]

Oh!!

[souredsweet]

[GOD... HE ACCIDENTALLY ENDED UP SUGGESTING SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T BACKFIRE HORRIBLY. But Kaoru will smile politely anyway because that is what he's supposed to do in these situations.]

Ah, it worked? Just be careful so you don't get any sand in the cracks.

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Yeah, yeah! [Souda is cheerfully shifting the coconut in his grip hrrrrgh why is this hard to open even after he's cracked it?!]

You want some of it? Since you brought it.

[Implying that's the only reason Souda's offering...]

[souredsweet]

[MAYBE IF HE HAD OPENED IN THE WAY Kaoru totally knew but didn't suggest... Wow, work on those mind-reading powers, Souda.

That said, he raises a hand in polite declination, shaking his head once.]

I appreciate the offer, but I'm afraid that I'll have to pass. I don't much enjoy coconut. [Which isn't true at all... But he doesn't particularly like it, either, and he prefers to be able to leave a conversation whenever he pleases. If he's eating something, that ties him down!!]

[adjustable]

[Not his fault! But Souda eyes him incredulously, as though he just said something bizarre indeed. Well fine more for Souda!!]

Haa... you're not havin' one? And you're on a tropical island?

[He says this as though there's something very wrong with the state of the world if someone refuses a coconut on an island...]

[souredsweet]

[Something is very wrong with Souda for being so fixated on dang coconuts, more like...]

...Is it really that bad if I don't?

[He's looking so concerned. SO CONCERNED. Souda should feel bad for making poor sweet innocent Kaoru so worried.]

[adjustable]

Well, I mean--

If you don't want the full experience of a lush tropical island...

[Ur missin out, Kaoru, in other words... HE'S BEING HELPFUL.]

[souredsweet]

[HE DOESN'T TRUST THIS KIND OF HELP. What kind of moron stakes all of their enjoyment of an island on a coconut!!!]

I do feel like I'm missing out now... Ah, but I wouldn't want to take any of yours, either. I can just go get my own later.

[adjustable]

You're refusin' my generosity?!

[...why are you getting offended, Souda???]

[souredsweet]

[SOUDA WHY. Why is your entire class morons.]

Are you upset...? [GOOD.] I would just feel badly, getting you your own coconut only to demand part of it.

[adjustable]

[No no you've just had the misfortune of meeting the most moronic ones, Kaoru. Some of them are reasonable. Like. Two out of the sixteen. Maybe.]

Ain't it obvious! [He sniffs.] You ain't demandin', I'm offerin'.

[Here he is, trying to be friendly and his feelings are just being STOMPED ALL OVER.] You don't got anywhere to be, right?!

[souredsweet]

[Where is Hinata when he's needed, basically.

This is totally upsetting though!! That's one downside to the whole politeness thing; turning someone down when they're being cOMPLETELY UNREASONABLE ABOUT COCONUTS is basically impossible.]

Is that so? Well... I don't have anywhere else to be, and if you're offering I wouldn't want to offend you. A small piece would be all right, if it's fine with you.