[breathside] about twenty minutes after the trainwreck trainwreck

[thornsofmalkav]

He's dead.

Raidou's dead.

It's my fault too. He'd come to the station to meet me for lunch.

They're saying this person named Kai tackled him onto the tracks right before my train came in. He showed me their face just before he died. I think they're that ninja who stole everyone's shit back on Crownbreaker Island. Like, a Familiar Face or whatever.

God. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.

Comments

[fridgeninja]

It's Kai's fault. Not yours. You didn't commit murder. They did.

[thornsofmalkav]

... yeah, but he wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me.

[fridgeninja]

Then either Kai would have found someone else to kill, or if the target was specifically Raidou, would have killed him somewhere else.

Tackled in front of a train... did Kai-san survive the attack?

[thornsofmalkav]

No. They're both dead. That's what the cops are saying.

[fridgeninja]

Then we need to find out why Kai-san would be willing to do something like that.

Travelers are dying. Allura-san died before the Jaunt started, somehow. Now Raidou. There are ghosts and monsters here.

We need to know who the killers are, and what they are planning.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

We need to get someone who's a medium to try and contact Kai to question them. I don't know who. Or, I don't know, ask with a Ouija board. And hope maybe Raidou has something to tell us when he gets back.

[fridgeninja]

People learned ghost magic in Bando, and in Greece. I'm not sure who kept it, besides Beatrice.

[Psychic protection II forever]

[comebewe]

[it should be shocking, that the death toll is starting so early. But somehow, with this jaunt, it's no surprise]

...Fuck. I'm sorry, Thorne.

Re: [Psychic protection II forever]

[thornsofmalkav]

The last thing he said was apologizing about not being able to have lunch with me. And I know, I know he's probably going to come back soon, but... it still hurts, you know? It still freaks me out.

[comebewe]

He died. We know that there are many who think that the impermanence of death makes it...mean less. That as long as you come back, it doesn't matter. That's not true. It does matter. He died, and you were there. Of course it hurts.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah.

God, I should be better with death. I'm a fucking vampire, even when I'm not. But it's different when he's your friend, you know?

[comebewe]

Yes. I know.

But we don't see why death is something you should be better with. Particularly not death when it is...violent, and abrupt. All too easy, when you are unaffected by such things, to cease to see life as valuable. All too easy to stop caring, and become a monster.

[thornsofmalkav]

[She's quiet for a while.] Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.

He'd been having the same dreams as you, you know. The cat goddess ones. I don't know if you were awake when he said something about it.

[willyousee]

Thorne? [Alcuin's voice is higher pitched than usual, but he's trying to stay calm for her.] Where are you right now? Are you injured?

[thornsofmalkav]

At the station. I'm okay. I mean, I'm not okay, but I'm physically okay. Could you? Do you think you could come? I mean. If it's still too hard, I'll get a cab or something. Just. Fuck.

[willyousee]

No, stay right there, love, I am on my way. Stay there. Breathe. You can talk to me the whole way there if you like.

[thornsofmalkav]

They put a sheet over the bodies. Thank fuck. And now they're asking questions. The cops are. God, I hate cops. Even if the British ones aren't so bad, I still. God.

[willyousee]

They must try to do their jobs, dearheart. Even if they are rather too late for that. [Salty? Just a little.] They'll not harm you. Do you know what it was Raidou wished to speak to you about?

[thornsofmalkav]

We were going to have lunch together. I was going to check to see if I could find anything about Bast at the university library and tell him over lunch. I was going to be the one to tell him.

[helborn]

[Casper's 'voice' is soft as he speaks. He's... heard this kind of thought before.]

It's not your fault. Even if he wouldn't have been there if you hadn't called him out, that doesn't make it your fault. You're not the one who pushed him. You're not the one who killed him.

... And hell, the fact that you feel bad about it just proves more that it's not your fault.

[Private]

Do you need me to come to where you are?

[thornsofmalkav]

I know that intellectually. I just can't feel it, you know?

[Private]

You don't need to. Alcuin's on his way. I mean. You can if you want, I guess. I wouldn't mind.

[helborn]

That's normal.

[That's human, he almost says, but doesn't.]

You're in shock. That's normal, too. Death, especially sudden death, is really hard to process.

[Private]

... Only if it's okay with both of you. I don't want to intrude on anything. I'm just worried about you.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah.

[Private]

Ask him, then.

[Private]

[helborn]

Okay.

... Please try to at least take care of yourself, though. Remember to eat and drink and sleep.

Re: [Private]

[thornsofmalkav]

Okay.