backdated to not long after Doki Doki's end

[cawfullyironic]

-=there's a new voice coming across the network, a bit southern and a whole lot of unfortunate turns of phrase. but not only does everyone hear it they see the words appearing as well. orange, glowing, and generally unpleasant to have right there in your brain=-

Dude I'm in a place and it's got people.
Hell yes, I need to get me some supplies if yall feel like helpin a bro out.

I need some fuckin Doritos.

Been on a boat for the last three fucking years and the i just happened to piggyback on some dude visiting japan and and the chump didn't even think to check out all the weird ass dorito flavors they got going on.
Like what even the fuck was wrong with that guy?

I'd like totally wade through an immeasurable field of over ripe dong to find the penultimate dick in which to suck to get me a decent sized bag of Doritos right about now.

Jesus fuck, it's been like forever since I've stained my fingers with the processed cheezy goodness or nearly choked myself to death by upending directly into my mouth to get the last vestiges of cheese dust and those little leftover shards that like to wedge themselves in the back of your throat.

Got me some random ass bird legs though.
Last thing I needed was someone dicking around in my proverbial programming so I can evolve like some feathery fucking pokemon.
Not that I didn't have enough swag oozing from my already existing feathers.
Yeah.
So there's that I guess.

((OOC: If anyone doesn't want to bother with orange text just let me know and/or poke his permissions post. He won't keep it up forever, he can just be a dick sometimes.)

Comments

[awitchdidit]

[Mental shrug.]

Eagles scavenge carrion just as often as they hunt. No one remembers that. At least crows are honest about it.

[cawfullyironic]

caw caw bitches
were smart as fuck too
dont see eagles wowing the masses with their problem solving skills

[awitchdidit]

Indeed! So you're full-on half-man half-corvid, then?

[cawfullyironic]

im a game sprite
so more like some dude-crow-ghost-glowstick abomination
with arbitrary dumbass powers
like magically beaming eye searing orange text into everyones brain for shits and gigglesnorts

[awitchdidit]

Oh, you're literally a part of a game? Interesting, how interesting!

So does being a sprite make you a type of fairy? No, there was some more modern meaning to the word, wasn't there...

[cawfullyironic]

yeah
or i was
i mean i dont know how the fuck im existing outside of it but whatever
a sprite is technically the visual representation of all the shit you see in a video game
but im supposed to be the dude that leads the player around on their quest so they get shit done
being all wizened and shit
speaking in riddles
which i thought was fucking stupid so i didnt

[awitchdidit]

Aha...ahaha...ahahaha, really?! That's fantastic!

[She's way too excited about this.]

What do you know? We had the same job description!

Of course, I didn't slack on the riddles...

[cawfullyironic]

-=dang son, someone woke up on the wrong side of the hospital restraint bed=-

well damn
thats
cool i guess

-=a lone ? hangs in her minds eye for a moment=-

and the riddles are just assblastingly dumb
like why the fuck do i gotta wast time throwing together some contrived puzzle words for the player to mull over for however the fuck long when there's more important shit that needs doing
and my player was pretty much a genius so it was a pointless endeavor anyway

[awitchdidit]

Hmhm...sorry, sorry, I just never thought I'd meet someone else who could see a game from my perspective...

[She mentally clears her throat.]

At any rate...perhaps you were lucky to have a player who was actually competent. The one I chose for my game needed an insane amount of prodding to even participate instead of carelessly floating through life until he died.

Riddles and tests are a form of guidance. Getting the player to think without simply ordering them to...another thing that wouldn't have had any effect on my erstwhile opponent.

[cawfullyironic]

so why did you chose a dumbass
and i guess i chose my guy too
technically the player puts their sprites together by choosing to combine some shit
usually a dead thing with some random other thing laying around
but i kind of inserted my own ass into the situation because reasons
so here i am
kid frankenbird
and i know what the riddles are for
but i also know that he didnt need them
because i didnt when i was him

[awitchdidit]

Oooh. This sounds even more convoluted than the game I designed. So you were guiding another version of yourself?

[Had she done that? In a way?]

To answer your question, though, well...the person's identity was the important factor, not his actual skill at mysteries and riddles.

Plus making him cry was fun.

[cawfullyironic]

dont you just sound like a peach to work with
not sure if i should feel bad for the guy or proud of you
moral conundrums are the worst

[awitchdidit]

They're pretty entertaining, yes.

At any rate, I guess it's time for me to point out that there's no rule against being both the guide and the Final Boss, is there?

[cawfullyironic]

not really
like the big bad in our session isnt supposed to be the big bad hes just some dude that flipped his shit spectacularly
so i could totally rock the boss role if i wanted
it would all come down to who could lay the smack down with the illest of rhymes

[awitchdidit]

Ahaha, would it? I'm a fan of reasoning and logic, but there is something to be said for ill rhymes.

You might have to explain that one to me, though - I was dead for most of the time rap was relevant.

[cawfullyironic]

well my world ended in 2009 so i cant tell you nothin about after that
but its not just the rhymes its like all of it
weavin all words together in just the right rhythm
used to be all about that shit once upon a time

[awitchdidit]

The soulful poetry of the 1990's, yes?

[cawfullyironic]

they gonna love me
tall me orange chutney
all gold chrome with the diamonds in the back
lil homies in the front dont know how to act
we comin deep and you never see us smiling
10 million strong and we rumble and we riding
two shots up for my denizens
been around the worlds and back again
feel so good gotta let me in
power to the people let em kiss the ring
caw caw caw - here comes the king

[awitchdidit]

I don't have the ability to broadcast proper sound over this network, but rest assured, I am applauding.

[cawfullyironic]

thats cool
i can feel your undying admiration from here