Have I Got a Deal for You

[thinkingfire]

I hate to make my introduction this way, but current circumstances have forced me into a bit of a bind. My name is Professor Martin Stein, and I'm rather hoping someone here might be able to provide a bit of assistance in a matter of what is sadly quite literally, life and death.

In the interest of preventing a rather sizable nuclear explosion--and I do realize this is a long shot, but would there be anyone present who has been fortunate enough to survive some sort of incident such as being involved with an exploding particle accelerator or nuclear reactor of something of that nature? The matter at hand is...rather urgent.

Comments

[virioncomplex]

-=he can most certainly understand=-

I'm an engineer. Worked with reactors before. Maybe I can do something.

[thinkingfire]

It's a rather unusual situation...have any of those reactors you've worked with run off of experimental power sources?

[virioncomplex]

Define experimental.

[thinkingfire]

I was working on a project designed to make matter transmutation a reality, and to make a very long story short, a colleague and I got fused to said research.

[virioncomplex]

So you're not a machine yourself?

[thinkingfire]

Goodness, no. Merely a human being who got a little too close to his research in an accident.

[virioncomplex]

Why is it always humans that do the stupidest shit. How are you supposed to actually fix it then?

[thinkingfire]

I did not do any of this on purpose. No one could have forseen a particle accelerator going off in the same research facility in which I was trying to secure further funding for my research.

And there's no fix for it, save for periodically fusing with another who has been exposed to similar radiations. We've tried several other means of stabilizing things, but everything else has been more of a temporary solution at best.

[virioncomplex]

If a particle accelerator or a reactor or anything in the vicinity of anything else you have to assume that it's going to go off. That's common sense.

-=for the intensely paranoid anyway=-

And I hope you mean fucking because otherwise what the hell? And even if you do mean fucking what the hell? None of that makes any scientific sense whatsoever.

[thinkingfire]

Yes, well, I had very little say in where to present my research in order to get some much-needed funding. The situation at the time was...less than ideal.

[He is sounding about as irritated as he possibly can via psychic network. He's probably pretty good at it; he's been a psychic voice in people's heads often enough that he's had experience.]

Nothing quite so crude, young man. We literally fuse into and inhabit a single body. It's strange, certainly, but unavoidable given the nature of the accident and the project.

[virioncomplex]

-=rolls his eyes even though it can't be seen. young he says=-

What fucked up laws of science do you even have in your world where that makes any sense. And I doubt I'd be compatible. I'm not even a mammal let alone a human.

[thinkingfire]

That we weren't killed in the initial explosion is truly a miracle, and I don't claim

Ah...that...that might pose a problem, actually, yes. I've only tried it with humans.

[Okay, so there are aliens out there, he knows this. He can roll with this after everything else he's seen.]

If you don't mind my asking, what are you?

[virioncomplex]

Gadakai. I'm an insect. If different phyla cant breed I'm not sure I wanna see what happens if we try to fuse into some mutant abomination of nature.

[thinkingfire]

...that would be ill-advised, certainly, yes.

[virioncomplex]

You find anyone yet? I'm not in the mood to find out what being annihilated feels like.

[thinkingfire]

Thankfully, I have several volunteers who seem willing to give it a try.

[virioncomplex]

Okay, good. They can be crazy all they want as long as my atoms all stay in the same order.

[thinkingfire]

With any luck, I imagine they will.