Have I Got a Deal for You

[thinkingfire]

I hate to make my introduction this way, but current circumstances have forced me into a bit of a bind. My name is Professor Martin Stein, and I'm rather hoping someone here might be able to provide a bit of assistance in a matter of what is sadly quite literally, life and death.

In the interest of preventing a rather sizable nuclear explosion--and I do realize this is a long shot, but would there be anyone present who has been fortunate enough to survive some sort of incident such as being involved with an exploding particle accelerator or nuclear reactor of something of that nature? The matter at hand is...rather urgent.

Comments

[detectivewonder]

Martin "Nobel Peace Prize In Physics" Stein, of Hudson University?

Professor, as part of our interdimensional roller-coaster here, a number of us spent time refitting or performing maintenance on a cobbled-together spaceship with a high energy reactor on a planet with no ozone layer. I think you'll find a surprising number of us qualified.

[thinkingfire]

Yes, yes, that would be me! I must say, I'm surprised to find anyone out here would know of me out here, given the unusual circumstances.

That is...well, it's good for me. Less so for those of you who went through it, I imagine. A heartening development, certainly.

[detectivewonder]

I'm from Gotham. Tim Drake. BS in Chemistry & Criminology, but I've dabbled in physics, especially... weird physics.

[thinkingfire]

Good to meet you, Mr. Drake. If you're dabbling in weird physics, I suspect this might prove to be a bit more of a learning experience than Gotham would be.

I must confess, I'm curious as to how this place functions on the molecular level, but I sadly have more pressing matters to attend to at this point in time.

That, and a noted lack of proper scientific equipment.

[detectivewonder]

It's the lack of a lab that gets in the way most. Irregular gravity, no object permanence, mutable materials - I'm not entirely convinced this place has molecules. It's more likely to be a sort of collective psychic projection. But that's a theory with a lot of holes in it, too.

[thinkingfire]

I imagine that would be a significant impediment to any real scientific progress, yes...and that is all absolutely fascinating. Some kind of shared psychic projection would explain why the laws of physics themselves seem to have somewhat abandoned us, quite well, yes...but I daresay I'm not fond of some of the implications. If our consciousnesses are here, then where are our bodies?

That, and if physics weren't behaving here as they would back home, I would not be having to send out this message in the hopes of finding a suitably irradiated individual...though that could be just a function of my subconscious believing it to be so true that it's actually coming to pass. Absolutely fascinating to think about.

[itsananimalthing]

There's been a few Jaunts that had radiation issues, so yeah. There's a few of us. Including me. What do you need a person with radiation experience for for?

[Since he kind of neglected to explain that part.]

[thinkingfire]

Well, it's admittedly rather odd, but, to make a long and frankly unbelievable story short, I require a sort of merge partner in order to stabilize myself every so often. You see, I was exposed to a great amount of strange radiation myself, and if I do not find a suitable partner before too much more time has passed, I will, well, explode. I fear for what might happen to everyone else in the blast; if my calculations are correct--which they should be--it will be the equivalent of a nuclear warhead going off, which I do not think will be good for anyone here.

[itsananimalthing]

[There's a pause, then something like a mental snort.]

That's probably a big, shitty sort of thing, yeah. Let's not let that happen.

[Aren't you lucky you're talking to someone who knows what a nuclear warhead is?]

What's this merge thing? And what's that do to keep you from blowing up liminal space?

[thinkingfire]

It's actually quite simple. I touch hands with a compatible individual, and then we fuse into one being.

Rather, we fuse into one body, and my consciousness hangs around in the proverbial wings while my merge partner actually controls the body.
It's been tried in other fashions, but this is the most stable arrangement.

[itsananimalthing]

[ ... that actually sounds really unpleasant. Sharing brain and body-space with someone you only just met? And don't necessarily trust?]

How much control do you get? And how long you gotta do it for?

[Because if it were a permanent thing, the Trumps probably would have wound up bringing the person he was bonded with, not just him, so he can at least guess that it can't be permanent. (He can hope it can't be permanent. Ugh.)]

[thinkingfire]

Sadly, I get little or no control over it. I'm merely a passenger.

But the preventative effects should be instantaneous the moment the merge takes place...at least, that's how it's always worked with previous partners. If not, I have to question the wisdom of our hosts in bringing me here at all.

[amadine]

Are you looking for survivors, or people with the sort of expertise that would tell them what the fuck to do in that sort of crisis? We have a few dozen of the former, but the latter...that's godsdamned rare.

[thinkingfire]

Survivors, actually. I'm hoping to find a compatible individual among them.

[amadine]

Compatible for what, exactly?

[thinkingfire]

Compatible for a sort of merger, actually.

It feels terribly forward of me to be soliciting public assistance like this, but I have as sort of condition where I must fuse with another individual, else I'll become unstable and explode. Sadly, this is a literal explosion and not some emotional equivalent.

[amadine]

Gods below.

What happens to your...partner, when you merge? Have our loving hosts simply neglected to bring the other half of a set, or are you an alloy of those who've gone before?

[thinkingfire]

Oh, my other half sadly did not make the trip with me. It's not a fatal process, if that's what you're concerned about.

My partner and I simply touch hands and become one being--or, it might be more accurate to say--I take a more advisory role, while my partner controls the body...which would likely be their body, if this works the way it usually does back home.

[virioncomplex]

Do you have a reactor in your pants that's about to go or is this some weird as fuck way to ask for a date that I'm entirely not comprehending?

[thinkingfire]

I assure you, I'm not looking for any dates; I'm a happily married man.

[That sounds about as offended as he can make it.]

But unfortunately, I myself am somewhat of an unstable nuclear reactor at this point in time, and if something is not done soon, I will, frankly, explode.

I believe you can understand why I would not want this to happen, nor should anyone else.

[virioncomplex]

-=he can most certainly understand=-

I'm an engineer. Worked with reactors before. Maybe I can do something.

[thinkingfire]

It's a rather unusual situation...have any of those reactors you've worked with run off of experimental power sources?

[virioncomplex]

Define experimental.

[neverfeltthatway]

I've been exposed to radiation on three separate jaunts - one at quite close range, and the other two for an extended period of time. I'm not sure I fully understand the problem or what it is you propose to do, but if it will prevent an explosion, I'm willing to make the attempt.

[thinkingfire]

Well, to put it simply, thanks to getting exposed to a freak amount and type of radiation in the presence of another getting similarly exposed, I now require the stabilizing influence of another containing suitable radiation in order to contain my own.

Essentially, I need to fuse with someone so that I don't explode.