synopsychic | absolutely open to anyone!

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absolutely open to anyone!

Er-- if you would all excuse me, I am looking for a certain lovely person.

[ And Inigo doesn't know what filtered thinking is. Or trying to think towards one person in general. He's new to all this telepathic stuff, okay.. and sort of an idiot, hence why everyone can just plainly hear this if they don't choose to ignore the voice. ]

I've been having terrible difficulties finding them by myself, so I figured this might be the right approach for the matter. This is about the beautiful Mitsuhide who I was told of! And according to the information I have received, the two of us could start a "beautiful relationship".. if you know what I mean. [ Inigo, that's gay. ]

So it would not do to let you go without my company for much longer! If anyone knows of their current whereabouts, or if you're hearing it yourself, fair Mitsuhide, please let me know!

[ Sounds like someone skipped over a gender detail or two while explaining this to Inigo, huh.. ]

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[ But, Jack.. no homo. No homo!! ]

Why would that mean I dislike men altogether?! [ Totally taking it the wrong way. Mostly since he's so riled up to begin with right now.. ] Men are fine, just not as.. w-well, you understand..!

[ He can't even say it. Not just bed partners, but even lovers or anything, he's blushing at the very thought.. scandalous. ]

[ it's just biology, Inigo! Also, there's a giggle inserted into Jack's communique. ] So you've never slept with a man then? Sometimes the bonds we have with one another transcends that of a simple love affair.

Perhaps you should give this poor fellow a chance. He may surprise you if he's come so highly recommended.

[ This is far beyond anything he ever wanted to discuss. And he especially doesn't want to think of him and this Mitsuhide doing-- well.. something indecent, that's what! His cheeks are burning at the very idea, and it's a good thing that this is only a telepathic message since he sure wouldn't want anyone to see that.. if only he could just sink into the ground right now, that sounds pretty nice.

Besides, there's a very awkward implication in the man's words-- ]

Are you saying you have slept with a man?! [ THE NO HOMO LEVELS ARE TOO HIGH. He can't take this. Goodbye, cruel world.. ]

[ wow, what a gutter mind Inigo has because Jack's reply is just blithe and utterly innocent seeming. ]

Of course! It's not that uncommon to sleep with another man, especially as children.

[ you know, just sleeping? Of course, Jack's done all that other stuff too, but he's a gentleman. He gets paid good money to talk dirty to his clients and not a cent without any! ]

[ ... wait, that's not the kind of sleeping he m e a n t.... oh. Did he misunderstand. Did he seriously misunderstand just now?! Inigo can't even recall the conversation a few sentences back, really, he's too busy freaking out at the possibility that maybe he looked like some huge pervert just now. He's fiercely blushing, totally freaking out-- ]

Well, I thought you meant something else.. n-no, wait, I did not, I merely.. I.. I...

[ .. yeah, he's just going to cry somewhere by himself right about now. ]

[ and there went the ball pit, now floating in a sea of tears... ]

What did you mean then?

[ sparkling like a million stars of sparkling innocence! ]

Oh, but if you didn't, I suppose that's why you might misunderstand. [ he gives a chuckle, or at least the impression of one. ] You haven't had many friends then, have you? I still say though, that if a lady recommended the man to you, you could hardly do her ill in pursuing the acquaintance.

You might find you have more in common then you think.

[ and then just fall madly in love and have a wedding. Lucina can be maid of honor and Kiki can just give away the bride. ]

[ ~~Jack's fanfiction, huh..~~ ]

I have had plenty of friends! [ He has to defend himself from that one first since he doesn't want to seem like some friendless loser.. sure, they're practically friends foremost since their parents were so close and all and they all had to survive together, but it.. still counts... okay... ]

Although.. I doubt I can exactly persue this friendship now. Surely you understand as well that it would just be entirely awkward..

[ Not everyone is this easily okay with the idea of flirting with a guy okay, Jack.. he's going to have to think of this every single time he sees Mitsuhide's face now!! ]

[ ~~He would totally write it if he thought it could earn him some cash.~~ ]

Wouldn't it be more awkward though if you let time pass by. You did publicly call him out by name after all. A gentleman should always go through with his promises!

And you did practically promise the girl you thought he was your company, didn't you?

[ just run with it Inigo. Your honor is at stake now! ]

As if any of that still counts now..! [ But there's a hint of uncertaincy in his voice now. Does it all really not count anymore or would Mitsuhide really expect him to still hang out with him now.. he didn't seem too eager about it, so probably not, but it could be that he's picking up on the wrong cues here.. oh god. ]

I thought he was a woman! Surely he understands that I said all those things while imagining a completely wrong thing..!

[ well, who knows. That's all up to you, Inigo! ]

Hmm... perhaps, but do you really want to take the chance of insulting him? [ again? ]

I will just have to tell him I am no longer interested..!

[ And even if Jack can't see it, he's burying his face in his hands. Totally burying it in there so no one has to see the redness.. ]

[ and the world's smallest violin is playing for Inigo right now... ]

Yes, I think that would be the right way too do that. If you don't wish to do so in person, perhaps I could act as the courier? A penned note and a gift to convey your regrets would be more then sufficient.

[ and chocolate is all the rage these days... ]

[ It sounds like a good idea, but.. why does he get such a strangely omnious feeling about what the other man is saying..

(Oh, right, because it's Jack. Not that Inigo knows just how bad Jack can get, though..) ]

You seem rather invested in this matter. [ Or maybe it's more just that Inigo doesn't know what to do when people offer him help.. especially with this sort of thing.. ] Do you usually do that sort of thing?

[ Jack Vessalius: professional relationship therapist.. ]

[ if inigo is getting an ominous feeling then surely Jack isn't doing his job right! He'll have to work on that. Silly pyschic network, revealing all of Jack's tiny, little secrets! ]

When I'm asked, of course. It's nice to do things for your friends too, isn't it?

[ why is this suspicious? This is perfectly normal behavior right here! ]

[ Don't worry, Jack. It's not you, it's the fact that Inigo still remembers Owain's last attempt at helping him finally get together with a girl that doubtlessly ended up with a sword in a place where the sun doesn't shine. Never trust wingmen, they never actually work..!! ]

Well.. yes, but.. [ Glancing at Jack.. he wasn't sure if they reached this level just from a few conversations, okay. ]

.. Are we friends?

[ Not even like he's doubting it, more like he's curious if Jack really considers them that way. ]

[ w o w ... swords in places where the sun doesn't shine. Sounds like Inigo has good reason not to trust the homos. But Jack simply tilts his head and asks another question right back. ]

Are we enemies?

[ because the opposite of that is a friend... or as friendly as Jack ever gets. ]

No, but.. [ .. But he feels like there's several gradations between enemy and friend.. probably?! Maybe?! It's not like he's ever been the best at this, with how shy it is, and he'd hardly want to make anyone feel bad.

So he just ends up laughing sheepishly after his tone trails off mentally for a moment. ]

Well, I do suppose I can't argue with that reasoning. Then we really are friends, hm?

That's what I thought as wel, especially since we're all in this together.

[ he paused ]

So no flowers?

[ he was legit serious about that courier service. ]

I think I will manage to survive without for now.

[ Friend or no friend, he still doesn't trust his friends with his love life, okay!! Every single time he's tried dragging one of them into it, they ended up stealing all the girls away from him.. even Cynthia. And she is a girl!! ]

Thank you for the offer though, friend. It is.. er, very kind of you to want to help out. [ Even if it's in the completely wrong situation where Inigo is just trying to proclaim no homo towards Mitsuhide as much as possible. ]

[ oh dear, oh dear... clearly Inigo needs to put more heart into his love pursuits! and not just go at it blindly. ]

Well, if ever you need a hand, I am yours!

[ although really, it's such a shame. But ah well, that's one less thing for Jack to do. perhaps he should go take a nap now... ]

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