[Open Broadcast: All Investigators]

[detectivewonder]

[Tim's mental voice is a drill-sergeant's whip-crack command, coming only moments after the Travelers are plunged into the water.]

Nobody panic! Try to keep the airwaves clear unless you need help. If you can't swim, shout out right now and someone will come for you. If you're a strong enough swimmer to help someone, let us know - but if you're not sure and not trained, don't try it. Find something in the water to hang onto. Get rid of shoes or boots if you have to.

Once we're sure we have everyone floating, tell us what you can see. All I have so far are rocks, in the direction the wind is blowing, and the remains of a sailing ship - Coelestis Maria is the name on the plank I'm hanging onto. Cute.

Unless the Trumps are trying to drown us, there must be something else out here somewhere. Land, or another ship.

Comments

[pseudologist]

Does the name have some meaning to you, or is it just meant to sound like some exotic strain of dysentery?

[detectivewonder]

It's similar to the name of a famous ship from my world that lost its crew. maybe a coincidence.

[pseudologist]

Maybe a bad joke. Was the crew lost to fish demons, by any chance?

[detectivewonder]

No-one ever found out, as far as I know.

... There are more than one of them here?

[pseudologist]

It would be easier to get a count if the ocean stopped trying to beat us to death, but I'd wager there's at least half a dozen.

[detectivewonder]

All infiltrators?

[pseudologist]

Now that, I couldn't say. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess yours was.

[detectivewonder]

Yeah. Someone I know well.

[pseudologist]

My condolences. Seeing a friend as a fish demon has to be pretty damn creepy.

[A brand of creepy he'll probably experience firsthand before the Jaunt's over, though he doesn't know about Aveline just yet.]

Still, if we can trust them not to drown us or steal our bodies, they might be our best chance of getting out of this mess.

[detectivewonder]

Do we have a reason to think they're body-stealers?

[pseudologist]

Possibly not, but a lifetime spent in the most demon infested city-state in all of Thedas teaches you to be cautious.

[There's a moment's hesitation before he clarifies.]

Where I'm from, dealing with anything that's part person and part something else is a risky prospect.

[deconsecrate]

Not to interrupt--

[ He'll just branch off into another thought, or however this Blighted idea works. ]

But I am fairly certain one of those fish demons is wearing Aveline's upper half, so if we could refrain from filling her with arrows or fire immediately she'll probably hit us less later.

[pseudologist]

Considering what the fish demons are wearing, I'm pretty sure you're getting hit no matter what we do.

[But humour cedes ground to...a slightly less flippant sort of humour.]

Don't worry, Bianca and I need to dry off and warm up before we can start any interplanar incidents anyway.

[deconsecrate]

[ The mental equivalent of slapping a hand over the top half of the face goes here. A person could almost hear the wince! ]

I am tormented by a sea of adjectives, and they're all things like 'buoyant,' so I'm personally pretty sure hitting will just be where she starts.

[ Ocean puns and incredible sexual confusion? Yes. He was never meant to see this much of Aveline, okay, even if it does satisfy a small curiosity of the last seven years. ]

[pseudologist]

You know, normally I'd suggest synonyms, but I don't think 'jaunty' would do you any good. Just make it flowery and hope no one notices. I'm sure Isabela will want a full report.

[And this once, it can be from someone not him. Just the thought of Aveline being - being not Aveline is unnerving enough.]

[deconsecrate]

... you know, the resulting friendfiction might be worth inevitable death at Aveline's hands.

[ Let us pray that the lady in question never takes that skill where you can scroll back through the Network. ]

[pseudologist]

Having played editor for the creative mind in question, I can guarantee it would be worth it.

[Not necessarily good - he won't vouch for Isabela's prose, just the entertainment factor.]

[deconsecrate]

When we're less likely to end up as oceanic debris I'll tell you about the time she asked me to do a dramatic reading.

[ Because have you heard Nicholas Boulton's voice? Seriously. ]

[detectivewonder]

If it helps, I've never heard a story about mermaids that would make them demonic.

[pseudologist]

You're familiar with these things? I'll have to pick your brain once we're out of the very metaphorical fire.

[detectivewonder]

Well, I didn't know they were real. But there's folklore.

[pseudologist]

I'm starting to believe we should just assume that everything's real somewhere.

[The only lie there is in 'starting to'.]

Still, folklore's more than I've got, and I'm probably not the only one. If we have even a hint of what to expect, it might prevent any unfortunate incidents, especially since some of these people are our friends in another skin.

[detectivewonder]

Well... they seduce sailors. Sometimes save them, sometimes drown them. They can sing magic songs, manipulate the weather, foretell bad omens, lead ships astray, grow to giant size... they might be cursed humans, might be ghosts, and might be soulless water spirits.

Now you know what I know.

[pseudologist]

So there's no common theme, aside from 'magic and dangerous'.

Some day, someone's going to have to write a handbook for all of this crap.

[detectivewonder]

If we get any writers, we should put them on the job. Honestly, it would be useful.