had enough

[rustyhonesty]

I... I've had enough.

[Jean's voice come across the network as very quiet and rather weak. He's back from the death again, this time remaining in liminal space.]

I was killed. Again. What sort of a person gets killed twice in the same jaunt? It's ridiculous. [There's a forced, nervous laugh.] On top of that this time it was... it was... more painful, both mentally and... becausewhydidIrunintothemjustwhy-

[The way he talks is more panicky at the end before an abrupt pause. He's quiet for quite a long time before gathering himself and continuing.]

I'll be staying in Liminal Space. I don't think I would be useful anymore even if I came back.

Well you could probably use me as a shield.

[Ha ha. Ha..... ]

Comments

[failgoyle]

Do...do you need some company? I'm doing a lot of hanging around in Liminal Space, too.

[rustyhonesty]

If you don't mind me being an emotional wreck... company would be nice.

[failgoyle]

Nah, I've done the emotional wreck thing often enough not to judge. Where exactly are you in here, anyway?

[rustyhonesty]

... there's a giant pile of gold behind me? I don't think I've seen that many this big while being here.

[failgoyle]

Yeah, there's a giant pile of gold here, too, maybe I'm on the other side of the same pile...let me get up top and see if I can see you.

[Jean might hear some noises in the distance that sound like a guy trying to climb to the top of a huge pile of gold.]

[truerevelation]

...

[Well. Shit.]

Don't blame you for taking a break, man. This whole thing's kinda a mess.

[rustyhonesty]

Haha... this Jaunt is the worst I've been so far.

[Lightning Age, you have been bested. Congratulations.]

Did something new happen? I heard... about that one village.

[truerevelation]

Mmm. Yeah. I visited the place.

[rustyhonesty]

... that must have been a horrible sight.

I wonder what we're really supposed to do.

[truerevelation]

It was.

Hell if I know. I'm mostly just tryin' to keep searching places I hear about and keep listenin' for news.

Action

[leftbehindagain]

[Naoki doesn't respond to Jean's announcement right away - instead, he just portals back to Liminal Space. It's pretty clear Jean needs company, and he could use a break from putting out fires and whatnot himself.]

Hey. Kanji's place should be open - can't guarantee there's food there, but it's at least better than sitting on a pile of gold all week.

Action

[rustyhonesty]

[Jean slowly turns his gaze at Naoki as he arrives. Sure enough, sitting on gold isn't the most comfortable thing - even using part of his cape doesn't make it any more comfortable. Maybe a change of place would be better...]

I don't think I'd have the appetite anyway. I'll come if it's really alright.

[Going to someone's place who isn't even present isn't the most polite thing, so he wants to be sure.]

[leftbehindagain]

It's not like he locks it, and if he's mad at anyone, it'll be me. [He really thinks Kanji will understand, though.]

Come on, it can't be far.

[rustyhonesty]

[Jean nods and gets up. There must be some sort of a mark made of cold coins on his ass because of how long he's sat there and it really feels like nasty.]

... thanks. I wasn't sure what I'd do with not much here. Can't do much with Hammerspace and portals only.

[leftbehindagain]

I know the feeling. Still, at least there's somewhere.

[Sure enough, it's not too far to the door to Aiya - and even without the usual full complement of food, it's a damn sight more welcoming than a pile of money.]

Talk if you want, don't if you don't. You just had a pretty upsetting time of things, and I'm not going to hold it against you if you need to get some of that out of your system.

[fridgeninja]

Who did this?

[rustyhonesty]

... it was... someone I know... or their overlay.

[Jean's not even sure if Souji knows who Eren is and it's not like he wants to declare "Eren killed me" to the whole network.]

[fridgeninja]

It's harder, when that happens. I've been unfriendly, or even enemies, with people close to me before...

[rustyhonesty]

Well, I've... tried kidnapping and murdering people I hold very close.... when I first infiltrated. I haven't been on the receiving end before.

[fridgeninja]

It's different. At least, for me.

[willyousee]

... [Curse his inability to portal!]

Jean... would you like me to Sing for you? There is a Song to calm. It may help.

[rustyhonesty]

[Curse Jean's ability being stationary portals.]

That... would be nice. Anything that helps, I would appreciate.

[Private]

[willyousee]

[On a private line, Alcuin opens up a sensory livestreaming channel, broadcasting his voice and, luckily, the magic it carries. Sweet and slow, quiet waves on the shore, the glow of a sunny day through calm waters where the light makes the sea warm and gentle. The feeling of being cradled, safe and secure in Her currents, protected from the harm of predators. There is nothing to fear. Nothing which needs to be done immediately. Breathe deeply of the Sea's salt waters and rest.]

[Another sense is added - touch. The feeling of slow, circular breaths filling his chest, a warm, gentle hand resting over the other, feet firmly on a stone floor. It's steady. Consistent. Even. Something Jean can try and match or imitate to help center himself.]

[Private]

[rustyhonesty]

[Jean closes his eyes as he begins the Song. The feelings are well received and he feels a lot calmer even just by listening only a little. He feels warm and safe, like there was nothing to be scared about. It's very surreal how different he felt just by the power of the song.

The touch adds more to the feeling. It really gives him a sense of consistency and he tries to match it, calming any wayward feelings that were still trying to cause some panic.

He's safe. There's nothing that can hurt him now. Not where he is.]

[Private]

[willyousee]

[Alcuin does not stop Singing for a long time. Even if Jean only listens with half a mind while speaking to others, so long as he can "hear" the Song, its effect will hold.]

[One can almost track the course of a day at sea, the sun slowly following its arc through the sky, through the minute key changes and shifting tempos. There are places where it is obvious that he is switching between parts, trying to meld it into a cohesive whole, but still the magic maintains its effect. The sun sinks toward the horizon, tinting the sea with the colors of fire, and then slips beneath the horizon as everything fades to the blending of calming blues and purples deepening to black as the waves wash slow and even upon the shore.]

[By now it has been more than an hour since he began it, and despite his familiarity and long practice, Alcuin's voice is grown tired and rough around the edges. He draws it to a close and lets the livestream turn back into a telepathic link.]

The effect will fade over time, but for now I hope it has brought you a little peace, my friend.