some grumpy grump hates kids

[trulyfree]

[No formal introductions here since Fenris is preoccupied with the noise coming from down the hall.]

I returned to my quarters to find the others rooming with me to be missing and shrieks echoing down the hallway.

Perhaps it should be of no concern, but it seems some of the younger ones among us are murdering each other collectively in some strange ritual. I am uncertain of if it would be wise to intrude, though advice would be appreciated as to whether or not I should bolt the door and bar them from returning as punishment for their unruly behavior.

[Not that he hasn't already done just that.]

Comments

[30languagesofbeer]

Y'sure they're killin' each other and not just fuckin'?

[trulyfree]

They're hardly screams of pleasure, I can assure you.

[30languagesofbeer]

Sometimes it's hard to tell!

[trulyfree]

[GROAN.] Trust me. Even if they were having intercourse in some twisted manner, what I am hearing would not be the result.

Either way, would the lot of them having some perverse orgy really be that much better than the notion of them murdering each other? They're children.

[30languagesofbeer]

Y'never know with kids these days.


You reckon we should go check it out, make sure there's no murderin' or orgyin' goin' on?

[pseudologist]

Considering what usually comes out of unholy murder rituals? Intruding's probably the best response.

[trulyfree]

Varric? [Well, color him surprised. Yes, feel that nice, pleasant surprise.]

Perhaps. But intruding is typically more Aveline or Hawke's concern than mine. If I had chosen to interrupt all the unholy murder rituals occurring in Tevinter, I never would have managed to leave the Imperium.

[pseudologist]

Usually. But they're otherwise occupied.

[He's assuming. There's a whole city out there for Aveline to attempt to keep Hawke out of trouble in, after all.]

...Before we decide on anything drastic, just how much have you had to drink tonight?

[Because they ran into each other in the hallway just the other day.

...Except not. He just has yet to realize that he needs to start figuring out how to pluralize 'Fenris'.

[trulyfree]

What? [Yeah, you're the first person he's recognized here since his capture, so...]

Not hardly enough to deal with children, if that's why you're asking.

[pseudologist]

Not exactly. I'm a little more concerned with the fact that you seemed surprised to hear from me.

[30languagesofbeer]

We gonna go bust down the door? [ GOD ZINDA NO ONE EVER SAID WE ]

[pseudologist]

It has been a slow night...

[He's used to it. He's friends with Hawke, after all.]

[30languagesofbeer]

Think this ritual involves some tequila?

[pseudologist]

Cheap wine and an over-inflated sense of their own daring, maybe.

If we want the harder stuff, we might need our own ritual.

[unabatedly]

[There's laughter on her end.]

Or they might simply be enjoying themselves. You never know. I think if there was truly a problem, one of them would be calling across the network for someone.

[trulyfree]

If they are, then I do wish they would enjoy themselves more quietly. I much prefer the silence from before.

Hmph. I almost wish there was a problem now. At least then the screams would stop eventually. [So bitter, this one.]

[unabatedly]

Now you're just being grouchy.

[But she can hear the shrieking too and she sighs quietly.]

You could always leave the hotel and go get some fresh air. That would let you get away for a bit.

[trulyfree]

I had. And then I returned, and they were still at it. [And now they're just ruining the nice buzz he has. Damn kids.]

My roommate mentioned before that pulling the red lever in the hallway would be an optimal way of garnering attention. [Without actually explaining what it does, for the record.] Perhaps that would be an apt form of retaliation.

[pseudologist]

Now you've just spoiled all the fun.

[unabatedly]

I've spared him the horror that is children, you mean.

[pseudologist]

You say "horror", I say "valuable learning experience".

[adjustable]

[Man.

Souda just hopes he's not going to be like this when he's old.]

Oi...

You know that everybody can hear you, right? Includin' us, even if we're in the middle of movie night? You're talkin' right into our heads, y'know?

[trulyfree]

[Uh, excuse you, Fenris is not old.

And, being new, he hadn't, but now he does, so nothing is stopping him from pretending he already knows. Thanks for the forewarning, kiddo.]

And what makes you think that wasn't my intention? [He scoffs.] Perhaps all of this is simply an intricate forewarning for the two rooming with me that I won't be allowing them to return. Did you consider this possibility? Because it is exactly such.

[adjustable]

[You're old enough!!!!]

Hah? That's an extreme reaction to a buncha people just havin' fun!

[trulyfree]

[You don't even know how old he is!!!!]

Loud, aggravating, heedless fun. Do you know what hour it is? I was just at the bar. Drinking. And I'd left because they'd stopped serving it only to return to this.

It has been hours since you've started. Haven't you the slightest notion or consideration to give it a rest?

[Someone clearly doesn't get the purpose of movie nights or sleepovers.]