Rude, Matthew

[whydoyoushine]

Oi, I need someone to get me out of a room. I didn't do anything this time, and here you go, locking me up for absolutely no reason. This is a violation of my civil rights.

[Zed is referring to the end results of a certain throw down with Matthew, which did not go the way he'd anticipated. But hey, at least he's proven he's learned something from Traveling, like the phrase "civil rights."]

You really want to fight over this, Matthew? Just get it all out there?

Comments

[whydoyoushine]

I dunno, I can escalate quite a bit.

[He sounds more exasperated than anything else, not like he's actually planning on doing anything. Yet.]

[awitchdidit]

I'm serious, by the way. I invented this punishment, I can come up with something more creative if it means averting awkward conversations about the floor. Stick to your usual aesthetic techniques, please.

[whydoyoushine]

The usual aesthetic techniques are what set him off, I'm just saying.

It's not even like he'd have to clean anything up here! It just disappears!

[awitchdidit]

Well, don't go beyond that. The thing about being us is we have to deal with the consequences of pissing people off.

[whydoyoushine]

At some point, you think they'd worry a little more about pissing us off.

[awitchdidit]

Ultimately, it's a numbers game. Have you ever heard of the Sheep and Wolf puzzle?

[whydoyoushine]

That sounds like a really boring puzzle.

[So no.]

[awitchdidit]

Without getting into the mathematical theory, the premise of it is that wolves want to eat sheep, but sheep protect themselves with numbers and farmers protect the sheep. If you want to be a wolf, you're going to have to find a way to outnumber the sheep and avoid the attention of the farmers. Both of those seem unlikely in this space.

[whydoyoushine]

Ohhh. Metaphors.

[Those are not his favorite.]

Man, I don't even want to be a wolf, I want to be, like, a bear, out there doing its own thing.

[awitchdidit]

A bear that covers everything in glitter.

[whydoyoushine]

It doesn't have to be glitter, I guess. I just like stuff that shines!

[awitchdidit]

As do I, really. I certainly understand. Glittering gold has always been my calling card, and someone's dungeon called me the "Witch of Light" once and I've been inordinately fond of manipulating brightness and sight ever since.

The fact of the matter is, though, if you continually antagonize a powerful person, they're going to retaliate. And when you play "the bad guy", you're liable to be outnumbered by his powerful friends if you try to escalate.

[whydoyoushine]

Man, I'm retired from the evil overlord thing, I keep telling people!

Can't a guy just go do his own thing with glitter in peace?

[awitchdidit]

I'm pretty sure doing anything with glitter makes you an evil overlord to the people who have to clean it up. No matter how justified I make my murders now, I'm still no hero to the people who have to mop up the floor afterward.

[whydoyoushine]

Blood's at least a little easier to hose away, I'm just saying.

[awitchdidit]

I know that, but try explaining that to a cleaning staff. There's a reason my archnemesis outside of Battler and that one detective was a fancy janitor.

[whydoyoushine]

What, a little bleach, a little hydrogen peroxide, it's all good.