well at least she's not dungeoning [immediately post-liminal]

[otomechapilot]

...there's a reason the C.A.G. was in charge back home and not me, but please. Please tell me I'm not usually that completely stupid.

Comments

[reallymean]

Our Infiltrations rarely mirror us perfectly, so much the better for everyone. What happened over there?

[otomechapilot]

I was in charge of the Defenders.

And maybe wasn't trained enough for it. [She refuses to say 'too young for it' on general principles]

[reallymean]

Inexperience can be overcome with time.

[She hopes.]

We only received a little news on our side - something about a virus. Did something happen to your superior, or were you a new team?

[otomechapilot]

Capslock-me was rushed out of beta specifically for the mission, which fits. Her logic was still a little buggy.

(DEEP, EXASAPERATED PSIGH)

She made a whole bunch of dumb calls at the end. Killed a lot of her people; killed some people who maybe didn't deserve it. Still "won," kinda.



[a moment later she thinks to add:]

The Programs where we explored rewired themselves not to need sleep and to get tons of energy while they were dreaming. They forgot to add 'but more importantly, protect the programs here.'

[reallymean]

I don't think I've ever heard a story that started with "they rewired themselves" and ended well...

Why did she make those calls? What was her end goal?

[otomechapilot]

To buy time - keep the rewired programs busy while we got a patch sent out.

I ordered an attack on the Trojan base - we called them Trojan Horse programs for reasons I think you of all people remember, - but uh, it was a secret fortress base and maybe I should have done some kind of diversion that wasn't a siege!

[reallymean]

I occasionally wish I didn't.

But you said you won, in a manner of speaking - so the patch was successful?

[otomechapilot]

Distributed by directly beaming it through an I/O tower, yeah.

Not before some of my Defenders cranked out the artillery and started landing shots, though. And not before the Trojans responded in kind.

[reallymean]

Still, it's a victory, which means there's more to take a way from what happened than an object lesson in what not to do. There may have been a better way to keep them distracted for long enough for the patch to be beamed out, and that's worth investigating. But it's also possible a more measured approach wouldn't have held their attention.

Sometimes the hardest part about looking back on your mistakes is examining the parts that went right along with the ones that went wrong.

[starshaper]

You're absolutely not stupid at all, Sara.

[otomechapilot]

I dunno, capslock-me nearly killed a lot of people with her kind of artificial stupid.

[starshaper]

Rough jaunt, huh. [Not even a question.] That capslock-person wasn't you though and her actions are her own doings and I haven't seen you even trying to do anything like that.

[otomechapilot]

...I'd hope if I sent people to die, I'd know that's what I was doing, and why, and everyone who signed up knew it too.

[starshaper]

... Yeah, that's a really tough part to be in but I wouldn't want it to go any other way for myself too. Not even after seeing my loved ones being on the other side of it or maybe because of that even back home. But we all know that we can't choose while they play their game with us and no one's blaming you for her actions.

[vrepit_no]

SARA didn't have the training to deal with something like that. Anyone can have a hard time when something big happens and they find that they are in charge with lives on the line. I don't blame her for making the call she did on the information available to her at the time. She was quick to turn it around as more came in. Besides, none of us knew about the regeneration power sinks.

oh so private, Psi Protect II

[otomechapilot]

...is this what it's like being a wing commander? Always looking back and wondering if you could have saved more lives?

private, Psi Protect II

[vrepit_no]

...I wish I could tell you it wasn't. No plan is ever perfect. You never have all the information ahead of time, and even when you have most of it coincidence is just as likely to throw a wrench in the works. You do what you can with what you have at the time. You do your best. That's all anyone can ask.

Re: private, Psi Protect II

[otomechapilot]

We got the Signifiers back online. Next time, if she gets a next time, she'll make different and less stupid mistakes. Yeah. Doesn't feel better in the moment, though.

...You and Eren made it possible for us to pull that out at all. Thank you.

Re: private, Psi Protect II

[vrepit_no]

It always hurts. When it stops hurting - that's when you have to take a step back and reexamine your mindset and how you yourself are handling things. Hard choices are hard for a reason, but in the end someone has to make them. There's a quote that keeps coming to mind that I have to remind myself of each time:

'I wish it need not have happened in my time.'
'So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.'

And if what we decide is to defend the innocent and the things which we believe to be right and true - or even just "better than that other thing", then that is a worthwhile use of our time and energy and mental space. And in the end those who have gone would rather have made that sacrifice to be sure of a better place and a better world than to have lived knowing that they could have helped make that change and didn't. They knew what they were getting into.

I'm glad I could be of assistance, Sara. And... I don't know if this helps or not, but I'm proud of SARA and her determination to do right by as many Programs as she could. She didn't let her pride and stubbornness get the better of her - she actively sought better ideas and ways to turn it around and protect both Signifiers and Defenders. She learned, and she apologized. She will make a great leader someday and her supervisors would be fools not to see that potential in her.

[fruitknife]

They wanted somebody they could throw under the bus if everything went to hell without losing anyone actually important. Only reason they woulda promoted somebody who was that undertrained for something that important. [Not a charitable view, maybe, but Shinji's... not inclined toward charitable views of authority figures.

It's a wonder he actually kinda sorta gets along with Emperor Emperor, really.]

She's willing to learn from the stupid shit. She'll be fine.

[otomechapilot]

...If I make it, my training from the Colossus was why. If I don't, it's cause I was a dumb kid and messed up.

And people say Magician cheats. The Defenders taking over was totally the Empress's wincon, you know that, right?

[fruitknife]

Pretty much.

[There's a snort over the network.] Figures. The hell's she doing trying to get by on her husband's crap?

[otomechapilot]

Can't be a Mom without a Dad? Or a good cop without a bad one, more like.

[fruitknife]

Who knows. [Shinji sure doesn't. That would require remembering his parents. Or interacting with cops more than absolutely necessary.]

[acapriciousthing]

Overlays are more a reflection of what they decide their damned game needs than any judgement on our own qualities.

[otomechapilot]

They're always a reflection of us, though.

We shouldn't be the pawns in their games, but games still have rules. There might be other people who could have been Capslock, but if she wasn't like me to begin with Mei couldn't have put me there.

[acapriciousthing]

It wasn't necessarily the parts that led her down the wrong path though.

Personally, I've never felt the need to kidnap anyone, but my overlay spent most a Jaunt doing that.

[ambitionburns]

For a Program with a lack of hands-on experience, her decisions could have been considerably worse. There were going to be deaths involved in any encounter of that sort. Could more have been prevented? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Don't dwell on it. Use it to make better choices going forward.

[He's not trying to be comforting. Honestly. This is an effort to be instructive. Really. It hasn't occurred to him that he may not be the best one to be doing it.]

[otomechapilot]

Speaking from experience, huh?

...how did Near-Zero just straight up lie to Capslock, anyway? I'm glad he did cause PiC0 needed to be dealt with, but I thought that wasn't actually possible.

[ambitionburns]

Yes. [He could elaborate, but...]

How? He wasn't sure, and neither am I. I hesitate to blame it on an unexpected glitch in his programming... perhaps it was some form of emergent behavior from conflicting subsystems?

Whatever the case, it was useful.

[otomechapilot]

...It sounds like he had a set of priority zero directives. Like Daneel's Zeroth Law. Moral code that outranked me.

[ambitionburns]

Priority zero? I suppose one could put it like that...

The matter was a moral one for him. If one considers adhering to priority an issue of morality. Programs are Programs.

[thornsofmalkav]

If it makes you feel better, THORN-E is going to re-rez the shit out of every intact disc from Ophiuchus.

[otomechapilot]

SARA will probably help with that if the Signifiers let her.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah. So at least some of those deaths won't be permanent!

[otomechapilot]

Keep circulating the code, GNU Signifiers?

[thornsofmalkav]

Hah, yeah. Pretty much.

[Private]

[helborn]

I dunno what happened but I have cocoa and blankets.

[Private] [into action?]

[otomechapilot]

Ohmygod yes. Thank you.

I can bring stuff from home I've been working on. Chinese or mexican stuff.

[Works for me.]

[helborn]

That sounds good. I've got a new trick to show you that I think you'll like, too.

[five minutes layhterh, action]

[otomechapilot]

She shows up at the meadhall door with a cheap green tote bag full of things that smell good; five spice powder, pineapple, chiles.

When she knocks, it's in a shave and a haircut rhthym.

[helborn]

He opens the door for her, smiling and immediately putting a hand on her shoulder, guiding her in.

"Hey there. Time to chill." She absolutely doesn't have to say anything about what happened.

[otomechapilot]

"Dunno how well cocoa goes with this but I got onion pancakes, chili cabbage, and hunan bacon and tofu," she says, shaking the bag.

"How was the Walkabout?" she asks.

[helborn]

"Anything goes with anything if you try hard enough." Or it does if you have limited food options.

"Walkabout was fine. I was a grumpy old man and it made things kind of awkward for a bit but I think they'll be all right."

[otomechapilot]

"Aint that the truth. It's just easier with some foods."

She sips the chocolate after a bite of the chili cabbage, and finds that it does work.

"Like how old and how grumpy we talking?"

[helborn]

"Like late sixties I think? And extremely grumpy. He owned fifty huskies and made a small child cry." That's pretty grumpy.