the real estate agent from HELL

[thornsofmalkav]

Okay. So. Here's the thing. Peregrine Me was talking to the hot demon that Ca... uh, to the Prince of Chess and he made them an offer: he'd get them an acre of land in Hell in exchange for them to serve in the Army of Hell. Oh and it comes with a Dignity too. Either a fancy-ass trident, Nobel laureate-level knowledge in a scientific field, or, like, throwing fire around, though obviously the last one is the worst one. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Peregrine Me would have taken the offer in a heartbeat if I hadn't been there to be their conscience--as it is, I managed to get away with an 'I'll think about it and get back to you.'

I'm, like, ninety percent sure that the reason they're trying to recruit us is that we can't actually die anymore, given that we're dead already?

Also I bet I'm not the only one he's made this offer to. For all I know, someone's even made the deal with him.

Comments

[awondrousplace]

Interesting. I wonder what would happen if one were to take the gentle-demon up on his offer and then, say, disappear in a few weeks. Poor fellow would be stuck explaining that to hell.

[Helena, no.]

I already seem to be the owner of a six-foot-square piece of land right outside the market, so what's a bit more real estate in the afterlife?

Your counterpart really should come visit Woking, darling. It's lovely this time of year.

[thornsofmalkav]

I'm pretty sure he wouldn't sell to you? He looks more interested in selling to Peregrines. Remember, they think Travelers are Immortali here.





... but yeah, we're totally up for visiting you in Woking. You got a tent up there?

[acapriciousthing]

I've never heard of infernal real estate causing anything but headaches.

But everyone wants it, so I'd be surprised if no one took them up on it.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah. Maybe I can go talk to people at Hunter's place later to see who has?

[acapriciousthing]

If they'll talk, it's a good place to start.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah, definitely. I think they will? I mean, I am another Peregrine right now.

[leftbehindagain]

As weird as this might sound, he is a demon of his word, if you're negotiating in good faith. Talking to him in bad faith is when you have to worry about getting trapped in exact truths.

Did he say how long the expected term of service is? That's the really worrying part, aside from Hell trying to pad out its ranks at all.

[thornsofmalkav]

Uh. He did not. I... should have pressed more about that.

[Instead of getting distracted by flirting with Captain Kirk.]

[leftbehindagain]

It would be a good thing to know, especially if anyone is planning to take him up on it.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeahhhh. Yeah, it would.

[leftbehindagain]

If you're up front about still thinking about the offer, you could probably find out without getting boxed into anything.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah. I'll go do that.

[Stupid attractive Demon Captain Kirk.]

[protect_and_serve]

Just because we've never yet found a world with the means to trap us when the Arcana draw us away does not mean we never will. I'd caution any deals made with Hell.

We need as much credibility with the Peregrines as we can muster. Whether aiding them is what we were brought here to do or not, it is what we should be doing.

[thornsofmalkav]

Dude, you're right. You're so totally right. I woke up Alcuin inside Peregrine Him, so there's him and me now, but we need to convince the rest that the Travelers are worth working with. Even if to them... to us... you guys are just more Immortali who, well, are kind of in it for themselves?

Like, I'm sorry, but nobody becomes Immortali by being selfless.

[protect_and_serve]

Then maybe I should cease to be one.

I know you've skills with drawing Travelers out of infiltration. What of the reverse?

[thornsofmalkav]

Re-Infiltration? Yeah, I can do that. I've done it to myself twice, once even on purpose, and I should be able to do it to you too.