the real estate agent from HELL

[thornsofmalkav]

Okay. So. Here's the thing. Peregrine Me was talking to the hot demon that Ca... uh, to the Prince of Chess and he made them an offer: he'd get them an acre of land in Hell in exchange for them to serve in the Army of Hell. Oh and it comes with a Dignity too. Either a fancy-ass trident, Nobel laureate-level knowledge in a scientific field, or, like, throwing fire around, though obviously the last one is the worst one. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Peregrine Me would have taken the offer in a heartbeat if I hadn't been there to be their conscience--as it is, I managed to get away with an 'I'll think about it and get back to you.'

I'm, like, ninety percent sure that the reason they're trying to recruit us is that we can't actually die anymore, given that we're dead already?

Also I bet I'm not the only one he's made this offer to. For all I know, someone's even made the deal with him.

Comments

[leftbehindagain]

As weird as this might sound, he is a demon of his word, if you're negotiating in good faith. Talking to him in bad faith is when you have to worry about getting trapped in exact truths.

Did he say how long the expected term of service is? That's the really worrying part, aside from Hell trying to pad out its ranks at all.

[thornsofmalkav]

Uh. He did not. I... should have pressed more about that.

[Instead of getting distracted by flirting with Captain Kirk.]

[leftbehindagain]

It would be a good thing to know, especially if anyone is planning to take him up on it.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeahhhh. Yeah, it would.

[leftbehindagain]

If you're up front about still thinking about the offer, you could probably find out without getting boxed into anything.

[thornsofmalkav]

Yeah. I'll go do that.

[Stupid attractive Demon Captain Kirk.]