[open]

[closetshark]

As entertaining as this all is, I'm more of a skee-ball sort. Though I will admit that the rats are a rather lovely touch, so kudos on that bit to whoever thought this one up.

Normally I wouldn't bother with you twits but as my usual methods of leaving places haven't worked I'm forced to actually ask how to do so. The faster I get out the faster I can finish a project I was working on.

I've got some yeti to inform about the cancellation of Christmas and really can't dally about.

Comments

[oftoomuchfaith]

Cancelling Christmas is a bit cliche for an evil plot, don't you think? Also, yeti?

[closetshark]

Considering North has tried to kill me on numerous occasions it's a well deserved vengeance, besides I've already taken care of Easter, the fairy and Sanderson.

[a pause]

Yes, yeti. They just let the elves think they do things... little jingly morons don't know a screwdriver from a marshmallow.

[oftoomuchfaith]

Who are the fairy and Sanderson?

[ mostly curious right now ]

About your question, if someone's found a way to leave, they haven't let anyone else know. So good luck with that, I guess?

[closetshark]

You know them as the Tooth Fairy and Sandman respectively. North is who you lot call Santa and if you need me to explain who the rabbit is I'm not sure you should be allowed to exist anymore.

Lovely. You're so very helpful.

[whydoyoushine]

What, cancelling Christmas, really?

[Oh, that's good. He's laughing.]

So, what, covering the land in darkness or trying to blot out all the light? What's it going to be?

[closetshark]

Oh no, I'm going to make those of the Light watch as all they've done rots away.

It's a matter of a countdown at this point but I like to make an impression. Who knew that only a couple nights of bad dreams could destroy everything they fought so long to build?

[whydoyoushine]

A countdown? You're giving them a countdown?

[Excuse him, this is the funniest thing he's heard all day.]

Man, you must really want to lose. That's great. Good for you.

[darkhourdear]

Why would you want to get rid of Christmas? [apparently as the resident representation of Death himself, Phillip can't understand the reasoning behind something that dark.]

[closetshark]

Because "Santa" is a lying murderer who doesn't know anything about the world and doesn't deserve to be worshipped by you ninnies.

[darkhourdear]

[..........there is so much in that sentence that makes no sense.]

Your world sounds really weird. [that's something he tries not to say but seriously wth]

[windlancer]

[he gives out a soft, slightly amused chuckle.]

Be sure to let me know if you find one.

[closetshark]

Why would I tell you anything?

[windlancer]

A common courtesy, I would imagine. There is no reason why helping one another escape would be that much of an inconvenience. In fact I would offer you the same, if I were to find a way out.

[solvethepuzzle]

[The mental voice that comes through here is a little sharper and clearer than some. But completely emotionally absent nonetheless.]

Regrettably, none of us will be able to aid you in your endeavour to leave.

[closetshark]

Ah well, what can I expect from a bunch of mostly humans.

[solvethepuzzle]

Did you truly expect a useful answer to your question, then?

[set_your_watches_for_fun]

You'll be leaving soon enough, darling. [cheerfully] But likely not to where you wish to go.

[closetshark]

As long as it's away from you twits I don't care.

[what_do_you_see]

Ridiculous.

[closetshark]

Sarcastic.

[callyourname]

Never heard of Christmas, what's that?

[Normally she'd ask Armin and okay, so she'll probably ask real answer from him later. Right now? This seems like some good entertainment distraction or something. No seriously, what is Christmas even? It seems to be his favorite thing, really. Or she could have asked what is a yeti, never heard of those either.]

[closetshark]

A holiday set up to bribe children in to behaving for a couple months with no consequences to being unholy terrors.

[shantiprayer]

You can't just cancel Christmas! It's Christmas! People are going to celebrate whether you want them to or not. Besides, I've never gotten to have a real Christmas! Why would you try to ruin it for the people that've never celebrated before?

[closetshark]

They can celebrate the Solstice like sane individuals.

[shantiprayer]

...Uhm. Isn't the Solstice just the longest night? Why's that something to celebrate if you have a normal sun?