synopsychic | in which the jaunt was failed because sera spent the wholetime stealing an entire populations pants

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in which the jaunt was failed because sera spent the wholetime stealing an entire populations pants

Ugh, I hate using this head talking magic!

Hey, so, acording to that guy in all of our heads-there's a bunch of people over in the Caliphate that think they can tell people what to do. Think they can tell people what to wear, and stop girls from kissing girls, and I think that's fucked up.

So I'm going to go steal their pants. As many as I can. Who else is in?

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Sounds hilarious. I'm all about it.

... I'm not paying your bail either, I hope you know.

[He might. He... likes Braig? Sometimes?]

Me, need bail? As if! Don't worry; I got it covered.

If you go through with this plan, that'll be all that's covered.

...As the actress said to the high priest. [He packages up the psychic impression of an unrepentant grin and sends it off.]

[He mentally snickers in spite of himself.]

But really, this plan is stupid and spiteful and if I didn't have to be an adult for everyone--for the first time in my life!--I would find it absolutely hilarious, but please. Try not to get arrested. I actually like you.

It is a stupid plan and I did mean it when I said I wouldn't be paying anyone's bail... but hopefully if the idiots are too busy trying to pants everyone they won't be setting everything on fire while screaming obscenities about the Trumps, so I suppose I'm tentatively in favor of it, so long as nobody gets sent to this Tunguska place I've heard about.

Not that I'd admit it publicly.

Aw, you're worried! Cute.

If it helps, to get at any serious higher-ups in this Caliphate they'd have to do a lot more travel than I plan to have time for. But a little light mayhem, you think anyone around here will even notice? As if! They've got too much mayhem going on without help.

Anything to keep the kids busy? [Braig is a terrible babysitter.]

Shush. I'm justly concerned.

And Tunguska belongs to the Prussians, actually, so it's more their higher ups you'd have to worry about.

Sure you are.

Then they won't care too much about Caliphate pants! Or former pants, as it were. See how things sort themselves out?

The Caliphate probably has their own hideous prison to contend with, you know. Just not one so infamous.

If it's not that infamous, it can't be that hard to break out of.

Maybe they'll spark a diplomatic incident. That's always a good time.

[Byerly chuckles in spite of himself.]

They're not, really, you know. One of them almost got my planet into war with the Cetagandans again a few years back.

Well, if it's your diplomacy, sure. But your planet ain't here. No consequences, yeah?

[It's at that moment that Byerly realizes that no matter what else they have in common--like being smarmy weaselly bastards--there is a profound difference between him and Braig. Because there are always consequences, even if the consequences don't always land on your head.

He doesn't let his tone of mental voice change when he replies.]

No, I suppose there aren't.

[He's disappointed in you, Braig, but he's damn well not going to show it.]

Who's there to have an incident with, anyway? Takes two to tango, and the lovely ladies on the lam don't have anyone answerable for them but them, last I checked.

Ostensibly we are.

But do we have a flag? It doesn't count unless you have a flag.

Do you want me to design one?

Do you want to design one?

[Braig puts on his best explaining-to-the-small-child 'voice'.] No, because then we'd be a nation or something, and diplomacy could happen to us. Much safer without.

[By starts mentally laughing hysterically. Sorry about that, Braig. At least he doesn't do it for five minutes unlike some people.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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