backdated to not long after Doki Doki's end

[cawfullyironic]

-=there's a new voice coming across the network, a bit southern and a whole lot of unfortunate turns of phrase. but not only does everyone hear it they see the words appearing as well. orange, glowing, and generally unpleasant to have right there in your brain=-

Dude I'm in a place and it's got people.
Hell yes, I need to get me some supplies if yall feel like helpin a bro out.

I need some fuckin Doritos.

Been on a boat for the last three fucking years and the i just happened to piggyback on some dude visiting japan and and the chump didn't even think to check out all the weird ass dorito flavors they got going on.
Like what even the fuck was wrong with that guy?

I'd like totally wade through an immeasurable field of over ripe dong to find the penultimate dick in which to suck to get me a decent sized bag of Doritos right about now.

Jesus fuck, it's been like forever since I've stained my fingers with the processed cheezy goodness or nearly choked myself to death by upending directly into my mouth to get the last vestiges of cheese dust and those little leftover shards that like to wedge themselves in the back of your throat.

Got me some random ass bird legs though.
Last thing I needed was someone dicking around in my proverbial programming so I can evolve like some feathery fucking pokemon.
Not that I didn't have enough swag oozing from my already existing feathers.
Yeah.
So there's that I guess.

((OOC: If anyone doesn't want to bother with orange text just let me know and/or poke his permissions post. He won't keep it up forever, he can just be a dick sometimes.)

Comments

[cawfullyironic]

that best be a promise

and i dunno
it happened years ago now
still kinda hard to even fathom something that fucked up
but my friends are en route to creating a brand new universe
which is where i should be but i got stuck in the weird multiversal mini game instead

[littleladyluck]

Cross my heart.

Ah. The whole "no one's put themselves in there" thing, or something else entirely? I wish your friends the best of luck; what a massive project!

[cawfullyironic]

nah its something else
be rest assured that there is no small amount of throbbing jackassery involved
served with a side of steaming what the ever living fuck
so theyre gonna need the biggest wad of luck shot right into their faces for it to even work

[littleladyluck]

That's a touch explicit. I don't mean this as any sort of insult, but how old are you, exactly?

The fact that you've been able to be pulled in at all seems like a sign that you've all started strong. I'm guessing that it'd be horribly difficult to pull someone from a universe that's improperly made, right?

[cawfullyironic]

17 i think
i dunno its complicated
me and time we had a THING
and remember when i said earth got fucked
well three years ago we kinda escaped the remnants of our universe just as that got fucked too
been traveling on the golden boat through nowhere to break into another one thats already all fuckin cracked up like someone went hog wild on some poor unsuspecting black mirror
so honestly it was probably way easier to reach in and snap someone up like a brand new toy
non euphemistic toy i hope to christ

[littleladyluck]

Ah, time. Not so much a cruel mistress as a confusing one. Now we have two people with time ambiguously on their side. And two people with heavy ties to gold.

Well, they have us in the center of a Venn diagram between "cog in a machine," "toolbox full of ambiguously useful screwdrivers," and "chess pieces on a roughly twenty-way board." I suppose one or more of them found your unique experience and skills different enough to be important.

[cawfullyironic]

confusing is a really nice word
maybe a little too nice i got some you can borrow
and shit im not important
im the absolute least important they got the wrong dave

[littleladyluck]

Time's been that awful to you?

We don't have many people used to time being strange. Maybe... one non-linear person is here? Strange time dilation will likely come up again.

[AUNT MODE ACTIVATED.] You're assisting in some way with the construction of a new universe. Even if you weren't, you're entertaining to speak to with psychic skills I haven't seen before. So far, you seem pretty special. If you were unimportant, why would you be here?

[cawfullyironic]

yeah
but it was my fault anyway so whatever its not like i didnt know what i was doing
and im kinda just there on the universe thing at this point
also i highly doubt that thr fact i can draw dicks on the inside of everyones skull was some kinda real drawing point in terms of usefullness

[littleladyluck]

[There's a pause there, fifteen seconds tops, with no answer. Those around her in the flesh right now may hear some muffled giggling.]

It's definitely something I've never heard of or seen before. Then again, I try to refrain from seeing the insides of skulls as much as possible.

[curse her lack of psychic skills, she can't explain away all the radio silence over the network.]

[cawfullyironic]

yeah its just like how you can see my words floating around because fuck how does one talk online without text its like a goddamn travesty
but yeah i can do that with pictures too

i accidentally caused the meltdown to end all meldowns doing it once
it was kind of glorious

[littleladyluck]

[another pause for unheard laughter. She was one of those odd ones who found some strange joy in postmodern and dada works. Davesprite has more than likely just made her day.]

I can understand why! With this image, then, or something else entirely?

[cawfullyironic]

somethin else
but omg
this shit was nuclear levels of volcanic eruptions
one purple faced spit spewing ragefit to end them all
granted i was kind of being a dick at the time
but holy shit

[littleladyluck]

I can definitely believe that. You seem like the sort of person to cause "nuclear volcanoes" of nonsense. I mean this in the most complimentary way possible, I promise.

[cawfullyironic]

granted that is true
i am completely amazing
a grand high master of assetry
but this was all him
john wins the award for greatest overreaction to a shitty joke of all time
and i mean seriously the joke was dumb

[littleladyluck]

The tzar of tomfoolery?

Ah. I'll need to ask you about your universe-crafting companions some time, if I may!

[cawfullyironic]

the emperor of shenanigans

sure if you want
havent seen a couple of them in like years tho