Percy is so very sorry

[mightypen]

So uh… funny thing. You guys remember how I can do that water stuff? Well, okay maybe some of you don’t know because I’ve been gone since forever and have some memory problems.

[Again.]

So hi newbies, I’m Percy. I’m mostly harmless and like blue things and can breathe underwater… among other things.

Anyway, I’m gonna apologize in advance for whatever shenanigans my dad’s side of the family puts us through. They’re not all that bad, really, they’re just…. well, they’re gods. They don’t really get humans all that well.

Blah blah blah, my dad’s Poseidon and that might either really help us here or turn out terribly for me depending. I can help you guys with cover stories if you end up having to use your powers or whatever out in public, demigods aren’t exactly a new thing and if you say you’re one most folks probably won’t be too upset if you break something.

Try not to break things though, it’s not nice.

I can give folks pointers on do's and don't's of ancient Greek society too, though it's mostly "don't claim to be something you're not" and in this case... "Assume everyone might be a god in disguise, even the animals because Zeus is a bit odd sometimes" and don't take sides if asked to judge something.

Uh... I guess folks can also check in here?

Comments

[not_the_question]

I read a book once that called the Earth "mostly harmless". If you're using similar rules for yourself, well we should all be cautious of you.


[Because of course the Doctor would reference Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.]

[mightypen]

As long as you don't hurt my friends, yeah I am mostly harmless.

Not being cautious of people is dumb anyway, you don't trust any weirdo offering you candy from a van.

[not_the_question]

Only your friends? That's pretty narrow-minded. What about everyone else who needs protecting. Didn't you basically just call yourself a god?

[What? The Doctor passes on what he's learned, this is how people have treated him, sooo....]

Oh I found the easy answer to that, I don't trust anyone.

[Especially not himself.]

[mightypen]

Depends on your definition of friend. Mine is generally "people who don't want to eat me for brunch" and aren't going around punching people because they feel like it.

Demigod. I turned down the offer of godhood. I like being mortal, jelly beans and having a girlfriend are pretty great.

[not_the_question]

So Picky... wait... I mean, being mortal is good, but... jelly beans? You're missing out. Because it's all about the jelly babies.

[He would offer one, if they weren't talking in their heads. Good luck getting the Doctor to focus on anything of value now.]

[mightypen]

Okay only the blue ones really, and pretty much any blue food. It's a thing my mom started when I was a kid.

[Percy, you're still a kid.]

Sorry, I'm painfully American but I'll try them anyway. Where are you?

[not_the_question]

[Okay, this is just too much.]

You were a demigod and give it up to be American? I'm not sure I should let you. You might let them go to waste.

[mightypen]

I was American to begin with? The Olympus where the gods live moves with western civilization, the mountain itself is still in greece but Olympus is the Empire State Building.

New Rome is over in California.

[not_the_question]

Right. Okay.

Perhaps now is the time that we talk about these things called alternate and parallel universes. Maybe even pocket universes.

[mightypen]

Of course it's it's own pocket thing. Not everyone can just wander in willy-nilly.

Most mortals can't see anything anyway, their brains just don't register it and decide that it's something normal. Like seeing a big poodle instead of a hellhound the size of a tank, or a baseball bat instead of a sword.

Or a Math Teacher instead of a monster.

[not_the_question]

That's... not what pocket universe means. You're talking about a perception filter. Or maybe a misdirection circuit. But since you're talking about people's perceptions, most likely the first.

[mightypen]

We just call it The Mist, some people can manipulate it.

Olympus, where the gods live, is the pocket universe dimension thing. Like liminal space, but it makes more sense most of the time.

[not_the_question]

[The Doctor chuckles.]

Doesn't take much to make more sense than what I've seen of liminal space.

[But he's not going to go into all that he now understands of it. Simply because it's too hard for him to 'dumb down' to the masses.]

[awondrousplace]

Isn't Adams fantastic? He's certainly one of my favorites of the genre.

[The genre you helped create, Helena.]

[not_the_question]

Finally someone who gets it. He's a good friend, I don't quote him often, but I simply couldn't resist.

[awondrousplace]

It is such a shame I never had the chance to meet him. His works are amazing and hilarious.

I admit some jealousy that you have met him.

[not_the_question]

Met him? Hitchhiker's Guide, Life, The Universe and Everything was based on me.

[Well, sort of. Hand-wavey-meta stuffs.]

[awondrousplace]

Well!

[There's a laugh over the network.]

That is certainly an accomplishment. I do not believe we have met, darling. I am Helena Wells. Originally of London in the Victorian era.

[not_the_question]

Honestly, just the story of my life.

[He pauses for a moment.]

'Originally', so you're not from there now?

I'm the Doctor. In London, I'm originally from the 60s.

[awondrousplace]

I spent approximately a century as a bronze statue. Not something I'd recommend.

Good to meet you, Doctor. May I ask what it is that you are a doctor of?

[not_the_question]

Ah, so was it because of you that the horse's organs were the way they were?

[Everything else seemed to have a cause and effect, why not that?]

Practically everything.

[It's the easy answer.]