Shitposting has consequences

[haremtrap]

Okay guys very important question so stop what you're doing and listen up. Battle lines are about to be drawn in the sand.

Now tell me, fellow travelers: Are muffins cakes?

[like half an hour later, after Kohaku realizes that Ako is now in the game]



I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't have time to explain. If I live through the next hour I'll explain. If not...

...good luck to you all.

[The line goes dead as Kohaku focuses on hiding. She's a fool to try. There's no escape from this.]

Comments

In response to the earlier bit

[eldritchwheelies]

1: Depends on how much frosting you put on it.

2: Followup question. Is fried chicken a sandwich?

Re: In response to the earlier bit

[haremtrap]

1: so you assert that frosting is what makes a cake?

2: My first reaction is no, but I'm interested in your logic.

Re: In response to the earlier bit

[eldritchwheelies]

Sirrah, there is a continuum between bread and cake, a cakebread continuum if you will, with such foods as muffins, pancakes and brioche lurking in the middle, neither bread nor cake. Frosting puts them closer to one end. It's like butch or femme that way.

And hey, fried chicken is meat surrounded by breadlike substance innit?

[haremtrap]

The bread is actually fused to the chicken, though. Next you'll be calling poptarts sandwiches.

[eldritchwheelies]

They are clearly either that or cakes.

[haremtrap]

A pastry can't be a sandwich unless it actually has "sandwich" in the name. So poptarts must be cake.

[eldritchwheelies]

Let your parents, The Immortal Cahd-Emprah, or any other authority figures in your life have that explanation if they complain about cake for breakfast, then.

Cake in my breakfast? It's more likely than you think!

[haremtrap]

"The Immortal Cahd-Emprah"?

[eldritchwheelies]

Number Four, the Principle of Dad, the Authority Figure, the Immortal Cahd-Emprah, Le Imperatur, whatever you wanna call him.

Haven't met the guy myself - first ones obvious about it that I saw were Hermit, Magician and Devil - but I bet he's real fun at parties.

[haremtrap]

So...one of the arcana. Okay.

[eldritchwheelies]

...Yeah. The Emperor if it wasn't clear. If your school didn't cover Tarot - and unless it was a hardcore Magic Bullshit school it wouldn't have - I could give you a refresher.

[haremtrap]

Tarot reading was a fad in middle school for a while. I remember like half of them.

[eldritchwheelies]

Offer still stands.

...Two questions. One, how new are you, two, did you meet your Ruling Arcana yet? Don't have to tell me which, just curious.

[haremtrap]

This is getting a bit real for shitposting.

But I got a puppy, so clearly I got the best arcana. And like, a month and a half ago?

[eldritchwheelies]

Oh, my apologies. I'll have to step up my shitposting game.

Is fried chicken and waffles a sandwich? Makes you think.

[haremtrap]

Better.

Only if you put the chicken between the waffles.

Counter-question: is an open-faced bread sandwich one piece of bread or two pieces of bread?

[eldritchwheelies]

Depends. How good are you at Bread Origami?

[haremtrap]

I've never tried it but it seems like the bread would rip.

[eldritchwheelies]

Depends on what kind of bread you use.

Tortillas and lavash are both, by the way, totally bread, and thus burritos, tacos, and falafel are all sandwiches. Try to deny it.

[haremtrap]

What? No, that's crazy talk. A burrito is round, with the tortilla forming a tube around the ingredients. A sandwich is flat, with a single layer of ingredients between the bread.

[eldritchwheelies]

Do you then assert that a wrap of such a kind is never a sandwich?

Even if it fulfills the requirements of the admirable Earl of that name of being able to play cards in his other hand?

[haremtrap]

I assert the hell out of that. Death of the author.

[fridgeninja]

I think the puppy is Hermit.

[haremtrap]

Sure.

Part I

[fridgeninja]

Well, cupcakes are cakes and muffins...

[haremtrap]

Interesting. This approach allows a whole new cake taxonomy.

[fridgeninja]

The question is whether cupcakes are a hybrid, or if "muffin" is a subtype of "cake." Is there any kind of muffin that's definitely not a cake?

Are breakfast cups a muffin, a cupcake, or just an unrelated food that's cooked in a muffin tin?

[haremtrap]

I'd argue that since a breakfast cup doesn't have any dough in it, it's not a muffin OR a cake. So unrelated food cooked in a muffin tin.

[fridgeninja]

I understand.

So: does a cake have to be sweet or frosted? There are bran muffins; would an unfrosted bran loaf be a cake?

[haremtrap]

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

What if I'm thinking about this all wrong? What if muffins aren't cakes. What if cakes are muffins!?

[fridgeninja]

Even sheet cake?

[haremtrap]

One large, flat, wide muffin with frosting.

[fridgeninja]

Square muffins.

It's blowing my mind a little.

[haremtrap]

I'm trying to imagine cubical muffins now and I gotta be honest they're super unnerving.

It's...wrong.

[fridgeninja]

They upset the natural order of things.

[haremtrap]

Word.

part one

[starshaper]

I don't know or even care, but now I really want muffins and cakes!

[ ...Thanks? ]

[fridgeninja]

I'm having the same problem.

[haremtrap]

Yeah, me too to be honest.

[fridgeninja]

I'm going to make some to test our theories.

[haremtrap]

I support.

[loyalrebel]

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary a muffin is defined as follows:

a quick bread made of batter containing egg and baked in a pan having cuplike molds.

A cake is defined as:

a: a breadlike food made from a dough or batter that is usually fried or baked in small flat shapes and is often unleavened

b: a sweet baked food made from a dough or thick batter usually containing flour and sugar and often shortening, eggs, and a raising agent (such as baking powder)

c: a flattened usually round mass of food that is baked or fried

I believe the second definition of 'cake' encompasses ​muffins.

[haremtrap]

Bran muffins aren't sweet, though.

[loyalrebel]

That depends on how you make or serve them.

With some jam and honey they would make a fine dessert I think.

[haremtrap]

At that point they'd basically be cupcakes.

That's a point for "yes", then.