synopsychic | Whose Round Is It Anyway?

[Armin is beside her on the wall, sitting quietly. Her exclamation brings out a small, somewhat bittersweet smile as he turns to follow her gaze.]

It is, isn't it?

[Oh, there he is! There's a moment of delighted discovery on her face, before she moves in closer to sit across from him, cross-legged.]

I like it! It makes me want to hike out into it...

[Then she briefly bows her head in a kind of apology, laughing.]

But that's not what this is about. Sorry. How should we start?

[It's nice to see someone appreciate the landscape without the fear and horror that comes with it, but at the same time, it's sad, because Armin knows he'll never really be able to see it that way.]

Of course. First, can you tell me what you've been able to do with the network so far? That will give me a good reference for where to start.

[Dakki nods.]

I've figured out how to browse back to see things that were already on it, and I can show what I'm seeing while I'm seeing it. I know that I can definitely do those things. Beyond that, though, I haven't tried much.

All right. Those are the most important ones to know when you're figuring out how to share memories. In a way, you're combining the two.

At its simplest, imagine going back through your memories the way you go the network, finding the one you want, and then streaming what you see there.

Combining... oh! You're right! [She is absolutely, honestly surprised by this realization.]

That sounds fairly straightforward. Let me try...

[Her head dips forward slightly and her mouth flattens into a line as she gives this a first attempt. What should she share first, though? Armin isn't going to be picking up anything from her, just yet.]

Wait a moment! [He exclaims, almost laughing, surprised and charmed at her eagerness.] That's the essence of it, but it's more complicated than that.

A memory is different from just your senses - it's more, and harder to share. Thoughts and emotions are more complicated. You have to create a pathway to stream like you do with your senses, but it has to be one that will hold everything you're trying to send through.

Ah? [Up goes her head again, and she listens attentively.]

That's true, isn't it? Human memory isn't a perfect thing. My own is modeled on that, and I don't have perfect recall. It's generally better, but not always better. Should I focus first on remembering clearly, and then on transmitting it?

You need to focus on the memory, remembering it clearly - what you heard and saw and felt, what you were thinking, what you were feeling. Then you need to construct a pathway that can transmit that. Remembering clearly helps, but it isn't enough, not by itself.

...It's not easy to explain in words. It doesn't translate well. If it's all right, I've found that the easiest way to teach someone how to share memories is to share a memory with them, and then to share the memory of sharing that memory. That way, you get the knowledge directly, you can both remember and feel how I do it. Would that be all right?

That's something that would take a lot of focus, all together... [No wonder she hadn't managed to figure it out on her own, yes.]

That's alright! I'm fine with that. An example is a fine way to learn how to do something, isn't it?

It takes a lot of focus when you're not used to it, yes. Once you've done it a lot, it gets easier. [Armin can do it without really thinking about it - although he will make sure to think about what he's doing this time, so she can follow along.] But an example is a fine way to learn something, especially when I can share it with you like this. Let me see...

[He thinks for a minute, then nods, having chosen a memory. Once he confirms she's ready for him to start, he closes his eyes and focuses. After a moment, she'll start receiving the memory - a lighthearted one of roughhousing and playing with Lady, his gigantic direwolf, though it's tinged with an almost unconscious sorrow and loss, as the wolf is a bittersweet reminder of Sansa, whom he loves still.

Then, once he finishes that, there's a small pause before she starts receiving a second memory - this time a memory of just seconds ago, sitting here on this wall with her sharing the other memory. Being so recent, in short-term instead of long-term memory, it has a different feel to it - more real, more energetic, even though the other had felt real too. Within the memory, though, she can feel how he searched back through his memory - probably an interesting experience in itself, as Armin has trained himself to achieve an eidetic memory - how he built the passageway that could transmit it, step by step, and then how he packaged the memory and sent it on its way. The memory is no less than an instruction manual for how to share memories.

He lets out a breath as he lets the connection lapse, then opens his eyes again with a small smile.] How's that?

Just like anything else. Of course.

[Dakki waits patiently and curiously for whatever memory that Armin intends on sharing. It's mostly the sort of thing that she had expected it to be.... except for the emotion contained in it. That there was more to recalling a moment than simply bringing forth the sensory part if it hadn't occurred to her at all. This was a very valuable demonstration. And not just of the principles behind the technique, but of why people didn't seem to be going about sharing memories carelessly. Bittersweet is the perfect description of what Armin has shared....
Going one layer further and projecting the memory of sharing the memory is somewhat disorienting, however. When it's done, he'll find Dakki to be sitting there with an expression of surprise.]

That's very enlightening! And not quite what I would have expected just by the description. But it makes sense, I think... I can do this, I'm sure of it, but I'm not sure how well I'll be able to do it while it's still relevant to planning the breakout and rescue.

...should I try now?

[The memory was bittersweet, and he likely didn't even notice it, trying to go for a happy memory. Just like anything else, when you live with something for long enough, you start to get used to it.]

That's often the case, with things like this. [Albeit probably moreso because of who and what she is.] If you think you can do it, then go ahead. The first couple times you try a new psychic skill should always be in a controlled environment, if you can manage it.

[He's speaking here from experience, having discovered a truly alarming number of his psychic skills by accident, or in the moment. This hasn't always gone well.]

[For all her concerns that she might not succeed, she smiles. Armin's approach is one that she likes. Careful, structured, in an environment best suited to it... even if she can't manage it on her first proper attempt, she feels confident that she can eventually do it with him there to instruct.]

I can't say for sure that I can do it, but I really do want to try. Alright...

[She closes her eyes and sets her hands upon her legs, and turns her focus inwards. Before she can share it, she has to remember it... but how to remember it? It all came as such a surprise. But tracing that feeling of surprise back, she can remember having just climbed down from some rigging and turning about with a hello ready for Susan, and it dying in her throat as she felt the barrel of a firearm jabbed into her back...

Once she begins to recall the moment, the details start clicking back together. And once she has something to send along, she can push it outwards for Armin to catch and see for himself. It's late in the evening, and they caught her by surprise. She loses sight of Susan immediately, and she did not dare turn around to look at whoever it was that was rushing her into the nondescript and windowless van. Confusion is the primary emotion, but once she's in the back of the vehicle, hands cuffed and knees hurting from having been pushed down roughly, some fear begins to creep into it. Could she defeat her captor, like this? Was it worth the risk to try? Time passed becomes unclear, for the memory cuts, but when the van comes to a stop and she's ordered back out, it's into a stark and completely unfamiliar facility, followed by a pat-down and seizing of her wallet and pocket contents. Confusion overtakes fear as the dominant emotion... right up until she's lead into the panopticon, where it spikes to shock and annoyance, seeing that she's being put into a cell with Zed, of all people.

She pulls back from all of that with a little intake of breath, blinking back into present awareness.]

....did it work? Was it clear?

[Armin frowns when he starts getting the memory, all the moreso once he realizes what it is.]

That was good for a first try - I got flashes of it, but not the while thing. But what I did get was very clear. I think... maybe you were focusing so much on the memory itself and trying to remember the feelings and emotions right that you didn't focus quite as much as you needed to on making the connection sturdy enough to carry it? I'm not certain, but that might have been it.

Remember the memory, but don't rush to deliver it - take your time in feeling out the connection and making sure it's strong enough. [His voice is nothing but gentle and patient and encouraging - he's not just saying that, it really was good for a first try. And he honestly believes she can do better on her next one.]

Would you like to try it again?

[That it wasn't a perfect effort doesn't surprise her. She straightens up, expression intent, eager for more information.]

What did you get? It is possible that the connection wasn't strong enough. Hm...

[She presses her lips together and brings a hand to the side of her face, thinking on the matter for a few moments.]

This isn't something I'd ever thought I could do. Telepathy is very much scientifically possible, where I'm from, but it's impractical. It takes someone with a natural aptitude for it even with equipment to amplify the forces involved... and it's so rare to be able to do it without equipment, that I've only ever heard of high-ranking members of the Communion of Gurhal being rumored to be able to do it.

[Her hand drops away, to fall back to her lap.]

The force that allows us to do this... would you say that it's an external force that we're tapping into? Not something internal?

[She has a feeling that if anyone would know, he might.]

I got... losing sight of someone. Being confused. Knees hurting in the back of a van. The question of whether something was too risky. Being patted down in somewhere unfamiliar. [He abruptly smiles a little.] And then annoyance at being put in a cell with Zed.

It's like... I was almost always getting something. But I was never getting the whole picture at once. I was getting the sensory information, or what you were thinking, or how you were feeling. But rarely two of them at once, and never all three. [Which is what lead him to believe it was the strength of the connection at fault. It felt like the rest of it was there, he just couldn't reach it at the time.]

The force that allows us to do this... To be honest, I have difficulty distinguishing between internal and external anymore. Because Traveling, being here in liminal space, interacting with the Arcana - it's changing us, making us more liminal, and maybe doing more we don't know about. Is something external, or is it just a different internal than we're used to, because we don't function how we remember anymore?

For the network, it's imposed, it's an external force that connects our minds. We've seen that it can be hacked, or taken down. But I think it may be an internal force that drives our abilities with it. I've put a lot of hard work into navigating the network, but even so, so much of what I learn is instinct or accidental. An ability that I discover when I need it, not one I've consciously pursued.

[His amusement at the Zed thing gets a little laugh from her. That came through too, hadn't it?]

That's something, at least. Was I not keeping everything unified enough? It seemed clear enough to me... I was concentrating on it fairly hard. You might be right, in that I wasn't making the connection solid enough. I'll try again...

[But before that, there's the rest of it to take in and consider. It's far more interesting of an answer than she expected.] It's... changing us? I hadn't even considered that, but it would explain so much of what we end up being able to do. [Still, it's a very big thing to take in. She brings a hand back up to rest lightly over her mouth, eyes flicking downwards, considering it all.]

Why not some of both? We've got external processing that we can rely on, but there's some installed internally... and our software is under constant readjustment. I've tended to think of anything to do with operating on the network to be separate from things like making objects when I'm in liminal space or opening up a portal, but if it's all the same external power and just different applications of it...

[She gives a quick huff and shakes her head.] I'll have lots of time to think about that later. Let me try this again?

[And without waiting for a go-ahead from Armin, she lets her head fall forward and her eyes close. The memory is easier to bring for this time, for all the effort she had put into it previously... the rest is about finding enough strength, internal or external, to clearly send the message through. It does, essentially, come down to trying to think harder.]

I expect you were fine holding the memory together - like I said, it's probably in transferring the memory that you got tripped up.

And yeah. People don't talk about it much, but there's no question the experience is changing us. That's one reason we can learn new skills so quickly. But as I understand it, the Arcana don't exist as we do, not in such a logical and linear fashion. As such, communication and understanding between us is difficult. They make themselves take human shape when dealing with us so they can communicate at all, though they consider it crude and unnatural. But at the same time, they also changed us to be more like them, to make dealing with us easier.

What all the consequences of that are, I couldn't say.

[He frowns, considering that.] I'm not very good at computer analogies - I don't understand them very well. As for the rest... I think liminal space and the network are separate. But the way we deal with them and come to an understanding of them may not be.

All r- [He was about to tell to her to go ahead, but apparently she's too excited to wait for him. He folds his hands calmly in his lap, waiting to receive the memory. He doesn't mind, exactly - he just hopes she learns a little more restraint when using her abilities on others.

The memory starts out the same way as last time, cutting in and out, but it stabilizes as time goes on and she begins to focus harder. He's smiling by the end, though it's tempered by the fact of what the memory is, and that she's still locked up.]

That's it! You did it, well done.

[She's so intent on accomplishing her goal, that any necessary answers will have to wait until afterwards. It does feel easier this time around, and when the memory reaches the end, her eyes open back up and she waits for Armin's reaction intently and eagerly.]

Yes! I did it! [She gives her hands a gleeful little clap, she's so pleased with herself.]

...with everything you've said about the Arcana and changes, I wonder if I should be so excited about having done it. It's useful, to learn new things, but if it's all changing me.... [She frowns thoughtfully, pausing a moment.] ...but maybe it's not necessarily bad. This isn't the first time I've been upgraded. Or remodeled. Aah, more computer terms, there, sorry, sorry. I can try to explain again?

Would you like to try again, with a different memory - maybe an older one - just to be sure you have it down? [He's happy for her, but he's cautious, and doesn't want her going too fast or getting overconfident. After all, she's been focusing on this one a while, and the memory is still very recent. Best to make sure she can use the skill in other circumstances, with harder memories, or she might discover her difficulties with it at a crucial moment.]

I, I understand the hesitation, learning what they're doing to us. But I don't really think *not* learning would change much about it, and we obviously can't stop them. So I think it's good to learn what we can to help us now, and not worry too much to deal with how we've changed until we actually have an opportunity to do something about it.

[He frowns, thinking for a long moment.] ...I think I understand. Software is what's inside the computer, right? It's what determines what the computer does, once you tell it something?

Again? [She looks surprised, and then she goes silent as she considers if she wants to. The practice is good, but what memory should she share?] ...yes. Yes, that's a good idea. Just let me think about it for a moment...

[Though the thinking does need to be postponed for a few moments. Armin has some worthwhile things to say. She nods in agreement.] Even if it's unsettling to know, we should know, shouldn't we? I'm sometimes surprised that there's so much to know.... and ah, yes, software is the instructions that are given to a computer. The instructions can be incredibly complex, but that's what it does, at its most basic. Now... a memory, a memory, let's see...

[Her eyes close, her head dips, and she thinks back on something that feels very, very far back. Which makes it much more difficult to bring it all up clearly, with no details omitted. But she remembers the lobby area at the transit hub, remembers the funny pumpkin decorations that were everywhere, remembers that there was funny music piped in, and remembers that her teammates were incredibly excited. Jenny and Meeka, young women with technicolor hair and pointed ears and futuristic garb, were so much so that they had hopped up onto the flat area above the receptionist's desk and begun to dance. There's a clear feeling of shock and confusion... isn't that not allowed? "Dakki! Dakki, join us! There's room, c'mon!" But they were her teammates, and they outranked her, and they knew best, didn't they? This was what fun was, right? So up she went, planting a foot on the desk and springing up and taking their hands, for she was heavy enough to need both of them to hoist her the rest of the way up...

It's less complex a memory, but it's projected quite clearly from start to finish.]

Whose Round Is It Anyway?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Slightly vague on the actual description because I wasn't so much given one....

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject