(no subject)

[leftbehindagain]

We've lost a lot of people lately who could either de-infiltrate people or bridge network divides, if not both. They're both useful things to have more of around, so if anyone wants pointers on either, I'm willing to help. This includes some of the building blocks, but not all.

[He wouldn't have taught Kanji the intrusive stuff, and that still stands.]

[PRIVATE to Helena's close CR, double-protected]

Guys, I... I think Helena-san's gone again. I can't find a sign of her anywhere, and she's not responding.

Comments

[youandyoualone]

That is interesting.

[super duper private]

It's a pity. He is not a malicious man, from what I can tell. Impulsive, reckless, too clever for his own good... it's a familiar pattern. At least he has a better temper than I had at his age. [Or at any age.] It makes up for not understanding people very well... though I am told he is a passing fair military strategist. But then, one trains one's soldiers to all have a certain mindset. If you can comprehend that, you can strategies for the lot of them, barring the officers, perhaps.

Ah, my apologies. You probably do not need to hear my thoughts on Armin Arlert.

we have hit 'all private all the time'

[leftbehindagain]

It's not like I haven't shared mine with you before. And really, wanting him to stop reminding you of you is a better reason for frustration than just about anything I can claim.

[Other than 'hurting his friend and never acknowledging the fact again,' anyway.]

FOREVER PRIVATE

[youandyoualone]

I liked him when I first met him, very much so. If I hadn't learned that he'd hurt someone very important to my-- to Alcuin through being too zealous about spying on the minds of his allies... mayhap I would like him better now. I do not think I actively dislike him, not as I do Malik Al-Sayf.

Mayhap it sounds foolish to quibble about these things, but there is a difference between putting a watch upon someone and raiding their thoughts. The first is an understandable precaution. The second... is too much like a violation, or so I have been assured by someone who suffered from true violation of the mind.

[leftbehindagain]

No, it makes sense.

They've both burned bridges in very different ways.

[youandyoualone]

I found what he said to you at the start of the Grid Jaunt. Would you like to talk of it? I think, mayhap, it might help both of us if we can get furious at Malik, who is at least concrete, and not whatever reasons that Helena is gone, which are likely not.

[leftbehindagain]

...Well, it can't hurt. She made a lab for me to work in. I'm there, if you want to hash this out in person.

[If nothing else, Yomi is going to be very well-stocked, after this.]

switch to action?

[youandyoualone]

I shall see you there.

also to prose

[leftbehindagain]

The lab space is down a hallway in Helena's rooms, at somewhat of a remove from the public areas, but it's always been Naoki's to invite in whoever he pleases. He's just usually not in here if he feels like being social. (But this isn't really about being social, as such, and Anafiel's a friend.)

It's very clearly a space made by someone who knows their chemistry and what one is likely to need while conducting related pursuits, even if Naoki's not quite using it for chemistry experiments. His variation on alchemy is at least close enough for the space to be useful - and it was a hell of an improvement on trying to cater Helena's first ball from his bedroom in the workshop.

He's wrapping up decanting something when Anafiel gets there.

Re: also to prose

[youandyoualone]

Anafiel does not come right away and when he does, he looks tired and somewhat the worse for wear.

"My apologies for being late," he says. "I-- wanted to calm myself some aught before I came to a room full of delicate alchemical experiments."

[leftbehindagain]

"Not as delicate as they could be - this would be a terrible time to mess with a Kamui batch." That's ridiculous enough when it's done; he'd rather not chance making it right now.

"But I don't blame you, especially since the goal here is ranting."

[youandyoualone]

"Indeed," he says. "And well-deserved, in my mind. What does he want from-- from any of us?"

[leftbehindagain]

"That's an excellent question, and I really wish I knew."

Naoki's quiet for a while, focused on finishing his work, and then he sighs. "He had... I'm not sure if it was a proper dungeon or just one of those three-dimensional dream things, some time ago. The side most people started on was an elaborate burned-bridges metaphor, complete with giving most of us matchboxes - and, naturally, disregarding his own part in the communication failures that created that situation. He claims to not care what anyone thinks, and then pulls stuff like that.

"I have tried to understand his perspective. I've tried a lot. And what I got for my trouble was him failing to extend me the same courtesy he asked for, and calling me a hypocrite for reacting differently to two very different situations."

[youandyoualone]

Anafiel pinches the bridge of his nose. "Of course he did," he says with a long-suffering sigh. "Of course he would. He judges all men by the assumptions he makes about them and their characters--no matter how innacurate that portrait might be. But the heavens forbid anyone accuses him of what he has actually done."

[leftbehindagain]

"The Defenders on the Grid were... well, human oppressors, for lack of a better term. As broken as the system was, they were still a part of it in the same way as the people they were hurting. Whether the Arcana are an oppressive force or not, I can't say yet, but they are not on our level. That's not a fight worth picking if you don't know exactly what you're getting into, and we don't know that."

The scary part is that they might know more than any other previous group of Travelers, and it's still probably not enough.

"He claims to want people to ask why he did something, if they don't understand. I wouldn't be surprised if he expects his explanations to double as excuses, and they usually don't. But if he doesn't understand why someone else did something, he's clearly happy to impose his own explanation for it and never ask. I was trying to be polite and not call out his hypocrisy, but I half think I should have anyway."

[youandyoualone]

"Do it the next time he reveals himself to be an ass," Anafiel advises. "For of a surety, he will. Do you know, he defends his forced Interface upon Eren by saying that as Eren was a soldier, he had treated him as one?" He snorts. "I would hate to see any army that he is in command of. He also decided well ahead of time that I had grossly disobeyed the precepts of my religion out of what I can only assume was selfishness and vanity."

[leftbehindagain]

"Well, I can only assume you cleared up that misunderstanding, or you never would have agreed to work with him." Naoki's not terribly devout himself, but he has some idea of how seriously Alcuin takes his religion. "And considering his defense for trying to bend one of the Arcana's tools to his will was comparing Traveling to slavery, I can't say I'm surprised."

Disappointed, very much so. Surprised, not really.

"The only problem with mentioning it later is that'd tear open the whole conversation all over again. If he's already dismissed my opinion as having no worth, why bother? I'm honestly surprised he didn't try to screw up the patch release anyway, after I asked him not to. He seemed so sure he was the only person who cared to do anything to stop that fight."

[youandyoualone]

"I did," Anafiel says, "but it annoys me that I had to reveal a large part of Alcuin's past, which he does not like being talked about, to do so. As well as having to share a most painful memory to prove that I never did try to--what is the word you modern people use? Ah. Yes. That I did not try to cockblock the good maestro and that I was not a man who makes people fall in love with me and forces them to choose between myself and another."

Just the memory of that accusation makes him seethe.

"Of course he thought he was the only one who cared. He does not actually think anyone outside himself and a few chosen people possess anything resembling a conscience."

[leftbehindagain]

"Even aside from the specific problems with that assumption as it relates to your world, I don't think there are many people who wouldn't be upset about that accusation." Of course, Leo's inability to communicate or work through conflict probably didn't help matters, but that's another story.

"No one has any conscience, or no one has one that resembles his? At this point, I think it's fair to say there's a distinction there, even if the difference is negligible to most people."

[youandyoualone]

"Likely the latter," Anafiel admits, with great annoyance. "But then, anything that does not align with his values is lesser."

[leftbehindagain]

"The annoying thing is I'm honestly not sure he does think opinions other than his are lesser. Hard to comprehend, sure, and he's basically given up on trying, which isn't going to make anyone who hasn't known him for a long time want to try in return. But 'not worth understanding' isn't the same as 'lesser in value.'"

Malik has his moments of good insight, and he did get unfairly stomped on for being the only person around who knew much of anything about any Muslim culture at all, even if it wasn't Nova Venezia's particular brand. That just makes his hard-headed moments all the more frustrating.

[youandyoualone]

Anafiel frowns. "You have known him longer than I," he admits. "Mayhap you might be right."

[leftbehindagain]

"Kanji had a phase where he was actively pushing people away. I was about the only person who never bought it - me and his mother, but parents are kind of supposed to do that, when they're doing their jobs right." Kanji got a good pair right out of the gate, too, but that's another matter entirely.

"Sometimes Malik-san reminds me of that. He tried to reach out with what he knew and had it slapped back in his face, and that's discouraging. But... there comes a point where if you don't make the effort, no one's going to care to meet you halfway."

[youandyoualone]

By those standards, Anafiel thinks, only his mother had done her job right. But then, he'd long known that.

"Exactly," he says. "It is not always an easy lesson to learn, but it is a necessary one."

[leftbehindagain]

"And you can't just say 'you need to get over yourself' to someone when they're in that mindset. It is what he needs to do, but saying it like that would probably just make him dig in harder."

That's how it probably would have gone with Kanji. Fortunately for everyone involved, Naoki never tried.

[youandyoualone]

"Oh, I know," Anafiel says drily. "Despite my occasional mistake in assessment of character, I full well know how to... guide people."