This is Bart's fault

[prince_of_pain]

[The person accessing the psychic network right now was probably not the best choice to be doing so, but since Noctis is bedridden and loaded up on Liminal's best painkillers there wasn't much he could do. Also his judgement had flown out the window.

There was probably a lot of strange static and noises in the background that come from a mind that wasn't entirely sure what he was thinking about at the moment, but eventually his own voice broke through. Kinda coherently.]

There's like...this cat, and he's super fluffy. I like petting him but I'm not sure if he likes it. Maybe he just tolerates me because Iggy is there. But he's really soft and pretty. Was everyone so pretty before? I'm so fucking high right now.

[It was kind of at this point that Noct really wished this was like the internet and he could just start posting memes and shit.]

I hate that angel guy so much. It really hurts. Even now too. And Iggy doesn't like showing it but he's really not having fun. You realize how hard it is to break his composition? Someone punch that asshole for me.

Astrals, I'm so bored.

Comments

[keepcalmcookon]

... Ah, I was wondering when you'd remember about the network. It took longer than I expected.

[You're so very very high, Noct.]

[prince_of_pain]

IGGY, HE'S REALLY SOFT. YOU WERE PETTING HIM, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HOW SOFT HE WAS??

[Also he may have lost some volume control.]

[keepcalmcookon]

Inside mental voice, Noct. [Ow.] ... He usually doesn't let people pet him, that's why. And he's a Miqo'te, not a cat. They don't like to be called cats.

[Noct's probably too high to care, but he's going to try anyway.]

[prince_of_pain]

[What inside voice what is this concept Ignis.]

But he's such a cute kitty....I just want to pet him because he's so pretty, does he really hate me?

[keepcalmcookon]

[Oh my god, Noct. Ignis just gives up. Mostly because he can't get Noct to stop saying it in person, either.]

He doesn't hate you, I promise. But, yes... he's quite handsome.

[Who's slightly embarrassed? Not this dude, surely!]

[prince_of_pain]

[He was a lost cause.]

Petting cats is the best therapy.....God, you think Prompto's hair would feel like bird feathers then?

Private

[crouching_sin]

I'm recording this for later, by the way.

[breakaleginhalf]

So I guess you're the one who inspired Casper to try and take on Fuckface McScorpion for himself.

[It's a little bit judging. But it's also not Noct's fault, which is why it's only a little bit..]

[prince_of_pain]

Fuckface McScorpion.

THAT'S A good one, I totally need to remember that one.
I'm gonna call him that from now on.
Fuckface McScorpion, I'm gonna shove my engine blade down your throat.

[Good thing he blissfully does not realize that the guy even has emotions.]

[breakaleginhalf]

You know he's gonna see this later, right? When he's not a semi-murderous Fuckface.

[Don't worry, this guy does.]

[prince_of_pain]

I can fucking take him. Just watch me.
I mean my back still hurts but it's always hurt since I've been little.

I can use a sword.

[breakaleginhalf]

He might still be able to use that whip. Also will probably not want to fight you. The guy's a dick but mostly he's just, like. Anxious.

[prince_of_pain]

I am the king I can do what I want. Except when Iggy tells me not to.

[Hopefully no one would take him calling himself royalty seriously when he was like this.]

Maybe I'll let Reggie eat him. Do books eat people?

[keepcalmcookon]

[He'd judge if Gil was actually judging hard, but since he's not....] We didn't set about to inspire anyone--but I commend Casper's heart for being in the right place.

... an apt name for the angel, though, I must admit. [Ignis hates the dude enough that he even appreciates that name.]

[breakaleginhalf]

Heart yes, brain no.

[Casper's his brother he's allowed to talk shit.]

He got two whips as well and seriously fucked up by some big honking handcuffs and a collar Fuckface put on him.

[keepcalmcookon]

Not everyone's a tactician, I'm afraid.

[He's not going to talk shit about a dude that got beaten up.]

... Ah. I'm afraid I can only point him in the direction of painkillers. But if he shows up in Felih's space, I can feed him. That seems about all I can do for the moment.

[dragoonrouge]

...Nald's Balls, why does this always happen with Felih?

[Q'uila's voice is deeply, deeply exasperated.]

Calling him pretty just inflates my brother's ego, please stop before his head grows too big to let him through doorways.

[prince_of_pain]

But!!! He is. Shit, there are more cats? I think I forgot about this.
Iggy was really interested in that one girl's ears, though. I mean I didn't think they were real, but wow, they are soft. AND he purrs.

[keepcalmcookon]

... I don't recall that at all.

[If he was American, he would be pleading the fifth. But he really DOESN'T remember this.]

[dragoonrouge]

Noct, we have met on at least two seperate occasions. Yes there are more Miqo'te here.

[She just sounds dryly amused now]

Oh really Ignis? That explains why you were asking about the possibility of catching that virus.

[She will just dump you in it Ignis.]

Ignis wants his own cat ears and a tail Noct.

[keepcalmcookon]

Q-Q'uila!

[Why are you saying this where EVERYONE can hear his shame! Also, he's... he's not denying it. ... but truthfully he's more worried that Noctis will grab hold of this and not shut up.]

[prince_of_pain]

[Yeah no you aren't getting out of this one. Noct can't filter his responses as high as he is and also didn't care.]

IGGY, ARE YOU A FURRY????

[thornsofmalkav]

I mean, if he wants to become a catboy, there are skills that let him do that for a certain amount of time each day. I use it to become a bunny girl with Alcuin sometimes.

[Private, Psychic Protection 1]

[keepcalmcookon]

... I may be interested.

[Even if you're kinda a stranger encouraging him.]

no psychic protection

[prince_of_pain]

HHH... a bunny? I need to see Iggy with bunny ears. Holy shit. Wait, does that mean he'd make me eat more vegetables??