backdated to not long after Doki Doki's end

[cawfullyironic]

-=there's a new voice coming across the network, a bit southern and a whole lot of unfortunate turns of phrase. but not only does everyone hear it they see the words appearing as well. orange, glowing, and generally unpleasant to have right there in your brain=-

Dude I'm in a place and it's got people.
Hell yes, I need to get me some supplies if yall feel like helpin a bro out.

I need some fuckin Doritos.

Been on a boat for the last three fucking years and the i just happened to piggyback on some dude visiting japan and and the chump didn't even think to check out all the weird ass dorito flavors they got going on.
Like what even the fuck was wrong with that guy?

I'd like totally wade through an immeasurable field of over ripe dong to find the penultimate dick in which to suck to get me a decent sized bag of Doritos right about now.

Jesus fuck, it's been like forever since I've stained my fingers with the processed cheezy goodness or nearly choked myself to death by upending directly into my mouth to get the last vestiges of cheese dust and those little leftover shards that like to wedge themselves in the back of your throat.

Got me some random ass bird legs though.
Last thing I needed was someone dicking around in my proverbial programming so I can evolve like some feathery fucking pokemon.
Not that I didn't have enough swag oozing from my already existing feathers.
Yeah.
So there's that I guess.

((OOC: If anyone doesn't want to bother with orange text just let me know and/or poke his permissions post. He won't keep it up forever, he can just be a dick sometimes.)

Comments

[littleladyluck]

[water off a duck's back, her existence has been questioned often enough.] Mostly the former, and a pinch of the latter, with a heaping helping of outsider perspectives on my land and people. The world sees Monaco as small, beautiful, and good with games of chance. I represent all of those rather well, if I do say so myself!

[cawfullyironic]

yeah im confused
you being monaco makes as much sense as me being me so thats cool
but if youre not a crazy person and actually the personification of a tourist mecca as a tiny cute chick then sweet

[littleladyluck]

It gets stranger from here, so. Baby steps. Or, rather, ehm. Flaps, in your case?

If I'm a normal human who's been around this long with a group of beings claiming the same things I do, it's one impressive shared delusion. It has been over a thousand years, though.

You're too kind, Davesprite. [so damn proud.]

[cawfullyironic]

its still appropriate apparently landed me some feet again
theyre more birdy and weird than i remember and dont actually work so what whatever
theres no such thing as baby flaps
when mama bird kicks your ass outta the nest you best do some motherfuckin adult flaps or your gonna become acquainted with the ground in a very intimate manner
and probably every branch on the way down

also damn thats not an adjective anyones ever used in my direction ever

[littleladyluck]

So you formerly... didn't have feet? Just the wings, no other way to get around.

Well. Yes. I'm no one to talk, what with being metaphorically grabbed in everyone's talons and shuttled from nest to ground to fancy cage until France took most of my feathers and nudged me out.

I've apparently been kicking off a trend of finding good in strange places. This is a place of firsts.

[cawfullyironic]

still dont technically i figured out i can make them go away
kind of a useless superpower
its not like birds are all that good at running and shit
or walking crows just kinda hop
gave mine up when i became the whole ghost bird thing

and thats just another reason fuck the french
in not a fun and euphemistic way

[littleladyluck]

So it's almost like audiocaudal syndrome, but the wings stay all of the time. Strange, but nothing is normal here.

France himself is a good man, as are many of the others like me. If we were to hold grudges against each other for their people's actions, we'd have no one left. There's a divide between a Nation's ordered to do and what they choose to do.

[cawfullyironic]

not really
its got more to do with what you get fused with and most people dont toss themselves in
but the audiocaudal things where i got the legs from so now i gotta matching set for when i feel like having a complete body
which youd thing would be all the fucking time but not really
its been so long its weird and now i got giant tail feathers sticking out of my brand new ass


so like
what year are you from
i am downright filthy with curiosity

[littleladyluck]

Really? The surprises never stop with you, it seems! I'm sorry that I missed you during the expo, Davesprite. We could have rendered the vending machines bare, bring chips and cheap coffee to the teenage masses like a simultaneously more and less snacky Santa Claus.

I came from February 2015, but I've existed at least since since Heracles made his legendary journeys, if it helps to clean your curiosity at all.

[cawfullyironic]

oh
oh shit that sounds amazing
we coulda had matching outfits and everything
opportunities squandered im so distraught

and damn okay
my world ended in 2009
was gonna try and avoid spoilers but it looks like yall avoided the apocalypse

[littleladyluck]

If we get a chance to spread cheer and cheap snacks in the future, we'll just have to go doubly hard to compensate.

Really? I am so, so sorry that you had to deal with that. The closest we've had to that is alien invasion in 2010, but a complete apocalypse in 2009? I'd offer to find you a safer pocket in the multiverse, but that's beyond what any of us can do.

[cawfullyironic]

that best be a promise

and i dunno
it happened years ago now
still kinda hard to even fathom something that fucked up
but my friends are en route to creating a brand new universe
which is where i should be but i got stuck in the weird multiversal mini game instead

[littleladyluck]

Cross my heart.

Ah. The whole "no one's put themselves in there" thing, or something else entirely? I wish your friends the best of luck; what a massive project!

[cawfullyironic]

nah its something else
be rest assured that there is no small amount of throbbing jackassery involved
served with a side of steaming what the ever living fuck
so theyre gonna need the biggest wad of luck shot right into their faces for it to even work

[littleladyluck]

That's a touch explicit. I don't mean this as any sort of insult, but how old are you, exactly?

The fact that you've been able to be pulled in at all seems like a sign that you've all started strong. I'm guessing that it'd be horribly difficult to pull someone from a universe that's improperly made, right?

[cawfullyironic]

17 i think
i dunno its complicated
me and time we had a THING
and remember when i said earth got fucked
well three years ago we kinda escaped the remnants of our universe just as that got fucked too
been traveling on the golden boat through nowhere to break into another one thats already all fuckin cracked up like someone went hog wild on some poor unsuspecting black mirror
so honestly it was probably way easier to reach in and snap someone up like a brand new toy
non euphemistic toy i hope to christ

[littleladyluck]

Ah, time. Not so much a cruel mistress as a confusing one. Now we have two people with time ambiguously on their side. And two people with heavy ties to gold.

Well, they have us in the center of a Venn diagram between "cog in a machine," "toolbox full of ambiguously useful screwdrivers," and "chess pieces on a roughly twenty-way board." I suppose one or more of them found your unique experience and skills different enough to be important.

[cawfullyironic]

confusing is a really nice word
maybe a little too nice i got some you can borrow
and shit im not important
im the absolute least important they got the wrong dave

[littleladyluck]

Time's been that awful to you?

We don't have many people used to time being strange. Maybe... one non-linear person is here? Strange time dilation will likely come up again.

[AUNT MODE ACTIVATED.] You're assisting in some way with the construction of a new universe. Even if you weren't, you're entertaining to speak to with psychic skills I haven't seen before. So far, you seem pretty special. If you were unimportant, why would you be here?

[cawfullyironic]

yeah
but it was my fault anyway so whatever its not like i didnt know what i was doing
and im kinda just there on the universe thing at this point
also i highly doubt that thr fact i can draw dicks on the inside of everyones skull was some kinda real drawing point in terms of usefullness

[littleladyluck]

[There's a pause there, fifteen seconds tops, with no answer. Those around her in the flesh right now may hear some muffled giggling.]

It's definitely something I've never heard of or seen before. Then again, I try to refrain from seeing the insides of skulls as much as possible.

[curse her lack of psychic skills, she can't explain away all the radio silence over the network.]

[cawfullyironic]

yeah its just like how you can see my words floating around because fuck how does one talk online without text its like a goddamn travesty
but yeah i can do that with pictures too

i accidentally caused the meltdown to end all meldowns doing it once
it was kind of glorious

[littleladyluck]

[another pause for unheard laughter. She was one of those odd ones who found some strange joy in postmodern and dada works. Davesprite has more than likely just made her day.]

I can understand why! With this image, then, or something else entirely?

[cawfullyironic]

somethin else
but omg
this shit was nuclear levels of volcanic eruptions
one purple faced spit spewing ragefit to end them all
granted i was kind of being a dick at the time
but holy shit

[littleladyluck]

I can definitely believe that. You seem like the sort of person to cause "nuclear volcanoes" of nonsense. I mean this in the most complimentary way possible, I promise.