CW: Cannibalism

[breakaleginhalf]

Oh my god Jules actually tastes like chicken.

Comments

[willyousee]

...I beg your pardon?

[breakaleginhalf]

Okay so-- I can eat pretty much literally anything without getting sick.

And before Harrogate happened I ended up eating part of Jules's tail?

[morethanashadow]

.......Do I want to know?

[past experience with other people says no.]

[breakaleginhalf]

You know how his tail falls off?

[failgoyle]

WHAT.

[breakaleginhalf]

Why do you taste like chicken, what species even are you? Are gargoyles like birds or reptiles or how do you work?

[otomechapilot]

WHY. WHY WOULD YOU CHECK.

[failgoyle]

I KNOW, RIGHT?!

[awitchdidit]

Well, alligator tastes like chicken, and he has a chameleon-like tail. Perhaps it extends to all carnivorous reptiles?

[failgoyle]

WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS DISCUSSION.

[But no, no, it's too late. It's already happening.]

[crouching_sin]

... Not beef or pork?

[breakaleginhalf]

No! That's why it's so fucking weird!

[Not that he sounds upset or disappointed. Quite the contrary.]

[thornsofmalkav]

Oh my god.

[breakaleginhalf]

Look sometimes weird shit happens in Dungeons.

[capital_asset]

[What.]

Should I ask how you learned that?

[breakaleginhalf]

[There's a distinct sense of double finger guns.]

Because dungeons are bullshit and Changelings twice as much.

[haveabiscuit]

Why do you know that?

[Why are people snacking on her unfortunate son]

[breakaleginhalf]

I didn't actually bite him, if that helps. His tail fell off.

[highnoonsomewhere]

Hey, now, fella, ain't that somethin' best kept private between two gentlemen?

[breakaleginhalf]

[He just cackles.]

Oh my god, not like that. Jules is so straight it hurts.

[failgoyle]

[There are no really coherent words here except for "NO" and "NOPE NOPE" and mostly it's just a lot of angry yelling in a negative tone.]

[rustyhonesty]

Great. If it's not Jules screaming it's Jules being eaten on the network.

[This is one of the first messages he got ever since waking up. What a way to wake up to be honest.]

[breakaleginhalf]

No don't worry, he's doing some screaming too.

[naturaltwohands]

[Drizzt surprises himself by laughing. There's not the same energy, and there's sadness mixed in with it, but it's there all the same. Obviously, he's just quietly listening in and enjoying the friendly stupidity of this.]

You are ridiculous.

[breakaleginhalf]

Yeah, but you're laughing.

...it's good to hear, honestly.

[rooktakesknight]

... Cooked or raw?

[breakaleginhalf]

Raw Jules or raw chicken? Because yes.

[finalizes]

That's what humans taste like. [At least in his opinion.

...he probably shouldn't have said that, should he?]

[breakaleginhalf]

No, it really is just Jules. Normal humans taste more like pork? Or at least the stuff Malik makes does. A distinctly porky not-pork.