synopsychic | Somewhere around 2/28 to 3/1

...And I thought it was bad that you have to be eighteen to be treated like an adult in most worlds. How do people born on this Leap thing manage to get anything done?

[Eren heard the explanations of what a Leap Year is. But he's also now under the impression that Shiro really is "officially" six and is legally treated as such.]

Usually by marking their birthday to either side of the 29th, in years when the date doesn't exist. Chronological age is more important than actual celebrated birthdays for legal purposes.

Oh! That makes more sense.

...But was that really the least confusing way to keep the calendar accurate?

I didn't make the thing, dude, don't ask me. That was a good few hundred years before my time.

Wait, so they've had a few hundred years to fix this, and they still haven't figured this out!?

I'm not even sure how they worked out the planet's typical orbit ends after a quarter of a day most years in the first place.

...Good point.

[He pauses to think for a moment.]

I guess I can understand it getting left for so long. It's confusing and annoying but it's nothing life-changing for most people. So all of the really smart people were busy making things like electricity and hot showers, right?

You're probably not far off.

[She's just. Not gonna open the can of worms that is Daylight Savings.]

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Unless you're a pirate in Penzance.

Yeah, but he's not. He's a pilot in deep space.

True. His nurse was a little less deaf than Frederic's.

My nurses strapped me to a table, ignored what I was trying to tell them to save Earth, and sedated me when I begged them not to. So. At least as deaf.

...That was a weird opera.

... they did what?????? . Dad's going to kill them.

[....Shit. That went 100% opposite of plan.]

I can't blame them. I sort of crashed an alien ship not fifty miles from the Garrison after being a year vanished into space, neither of you were with me, I'd gained muscle and lost an arm, which was replaced by an incredible alien prosthetic, and I was yelling what probably sounded like gibberish to them. They didn't know what the tech could do and I was borderline hysterical. They didn't know my background while I was gone - how could they? So... yeah. They followed what was probably protocol to keep everybody safe.

... oh Jesus fuck what?

...It's unfortunate, but not an unreasonable response in context. I'm sure they just wanted to calm me down and make sure I wasn't sick or about to explode. They didn't know what the prosthetic did, and at the time neither did I. They needed information. I can't really blame them.

[It hurts, and it means he can't trust them anymore, and he feels like he can't ever go back, but he can't blame them.]

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He is the very model of a modern major pilot.

Hm. You have to do funny things to 'pilot' to make it scan right. 'Astronaut?'

Oh, yes good. I like that.

Wh-- Oh geeze. No, they know I'm really twenty-six, I swear. Matt's just doing the annual joke run, Eren, I promise.

I'd really hope they know just by looking at you.

...It's not a very funny joke. [Sorry Matt. He's not being rude on purpose. He's just too blunt for his own good sometimes.]

Don't worry about it too much. This sort of stuff happens all the time at home. There isn't as much life and death involved. It's mostly just like. Cake with toy cars and nerf darts on them, or plenty of decor that's blue with white polkadots, in case I forgot I was a boy. It's all in good fun.

[He's resigned to it. He thought Matt had forgotten, what with the skipping yesterday.]

Uh... Toy cars are for kids, so I'm guessing "nerf darts" are for kids too? ...What the hell do blue and white polkadots have to do with being a boy?

[Now he sounds even more confused than he did a moment ago.]

You don't have that stupid thing where pink is for girls and blue is for boys? Color code your baby so everyone knows to get them balls or dolls?

[He is actually a little jealous, if that's the case. Just a tiny bit.]

...No. We don't have anything like that. Why would you color code a baby!? It's not like they can tell you what colors they like yet! I know modern worlds don't have a lot of the problems with getting materials and dyes that we do back at the Walls, but shouldn't that mean they could give the baby a bunch of different colors so they'll have something they like for sure? Wouldn't-

[And then he breaks off as something else Shiro said finally registers. Wait. Wait wait wait. Back up a minute here.]

Hold on, what do you mean "knows to get them balls or dolls"!? Does your world restrict what toys a child can play with based on whether they're a boy or a girl!?

[Titan Hell is a terrible place full of terrible things. But they did at least manage to get a couple of things right.]