Everybody Panic

[failgoyle]

[Sorry, network, you'll never know peace so long as Jules still walks Liminal Space. Have some more screaming.]

There's a Drow here and Zaknafein said they were bad news, and this one's got some kind of MURDERCAT and he just surprised me, and I don't know what I'm gonna do, and he ABSOLUTELY REEKS, this is what death smells like, I am pretty sure this is what death smells like...

BUT I NEED HELP!

Comments

[solvethepuzzle]

[Ew. Yeah, his nose actually wrinkles here, but obviously it can't be seen because why would he ever bother to broadcast his face.]

That's unpleasant. But it's not death.

[uzoda]

If it's death, it's death at sea. Ugh!

[solvethepuzzle]

It isn't death; I am familiar with what that smells like. [This is so encouraging.]

[uzoda]

[Not gonna question that.] Well if it's not death, then what is it?!

[solvethepuzzle]

[The answer to that is actually not as terrible as imagination would leave it to. Oh well.]

It strikes me more as the scent of someone who has not bathed in quite some time. [Near may suck at looking after himself, but he at least washes.]

[failgoyle]

Okay, okay, so the death thing was hyperbole!

Still reeks!

[solvethepuzzle]

And perhaps "murdercat" is also an exaggeration?

[failgoyle]

No, no, I'm pretty sure that cat could murder you; it was huge.

[solvethepuzzle]

I'm sure many things can, but was it behaving at all aggressively for it to earn such a moniker?

[failgoyle]

Well, no, but it had a lot of claws and teeth!

[Jules will, for the moment, totally fail to pick up on the obvious flaw in his logic that is that he's got claws and slightly pointy teeth in his normal gargoyle form.]

[solvethepuzzle]

Cats tend to have those.

Does your lurkglider form not have claws and teeth as well? [Not that Near has seen the relevant parts of that form, but Jules had likened lurkgliders to gargoyles, so the association is what he works from.]

[failgoyle]

Yes, but...that's not the point!

[solvethepuzzle]

By the logic you've used, that would mean we should expect you to murder us. [He's all for caution, but seriously.]

[failgoyle]

...but I wouldn't do that, mine aren't nearly that big!

[solvethepuzzle]

Would you, if they were big enough?

[failgoyle]

No! I hate fighting!

[solvethepuzzle]

So do you see where your logic is flawed now?

[failgoyle]

But I'm not a cat!

[solvethepuzzle]

You are an unaggressive creature that happens to have sharp teeth and claws. As is the cat, by your own admission.

[failgoyle]

But I can talk and stuff! The cat can't talk!