Drizzt Asks Important Questions

[naturaltwohands]

This is Drizzt Do'Urden, and I have a simple question: what does one do in Liminal Space beside read books? It is too small to have anything left to explore, unless one tries to scale the wall.

[He does not sound frustrated, but in a good general mood. Drizzt seems more amused about it than anything, and he figures someone will have a good answer for him.]

I ask because I am afraid boredom begins to strike at my heart with my blades still for so long, and I need something more to combat it properly. Perhaps one of you has advice?

Comments

[naturaltwohands]

I assure you that it would take much more than a short length of boredom to reduce me to something like that.

[cawfullyironic]

youd be goddamn surprised what happens when people here get bored
even for like
a second
at least last liminal had a water park
could splash my feathery ass around in a pool and blind people with my sexiest of waterwear
but even that gets lame after the billionth time

[naturaltwohands]

I shudder to think of the idea.

[Blind people with... waterwear? Clothing for water? Drizzt is a bit intrigued by the idea of a water park.]

What is a water park?

[cawfullyironic]

aww snap
sit your jumpy ass down and let me learn you a thing
so a water park is a park right
thats got water in it
unbelievable i know

[naturaltwohands]

I can figure that much on my own.

[DRY VOICE IS DRY ENOUGH TO DRAIN SEVERAL LAKES OF WATER.]

[cawfullyironic]

-=SO EDGY=-

yeah but bro
you know what they DO with the water
at a motherfuckin water park
?

[naturaltwohands]

[That's Drizzt. Super edgy. Living on the edge.

Of civilization.]

I do not.

[cawfullyironic]

dude
bro
unfortunate fellow with a stick so far up his particulars its practically picking your brainmeat
you gotta know what a SLIDE is a least right
tall on one end and not so fuckin much on the other
fling yourself down the slippery surface at mach speeds
only its never slippery enough so it ends up more like a tumble
its like the universal pastime of grade school kids everywhere
fuck i bet even the trolls had slides

[naturaltwohands]

I do not have a stick up my ass, if that is what you are implying.

[Drizzt truly is interested to hear more, and he lets out an annoyed sigh.]

I have never heard of slides or "grade" school, and the trolls I know prefer to simply eat people. But I do believe I can at least picture slides.

[He's annoyed and confused. And curious.]

[cawfullyironic]

i didnt know a lot of trolls but im pretty sure they ate babies or some shit
but yeah so water parks got water slides mostly
run water down the slides and into a pool at the bottom
some of the slides even do loops and shit
twirl your ass around then shoot you out the bottom so you flail like an uncoordinated douche into the pool

[naturaltwohands]

Trolls eat everyone, yes.

[Wow, if you ignore how rude this person speaks, you can almost pretend they are normal.]

And people do this for fun?

[Drizzt sounds a little more amused now.]

It does certainly sound interesting. I am sorry that I missed it.

[cawfullyironic]

gross
and fuck yeah
most people anyway i mean i didnt fit in all the slides on account of being haphazardly taxidermied together like a giant deliciously orange douche
probably clog that shit with feathers
get stuck like a turd in the sewage line of life
where was i going with this
oh yeah water parks are cool there was even a wave pool
which is a pool
thats got waves

[naturaltwohands]

[Drizzt is pretty sure he doesn't want to know what a douche is, so he doesn't ask. And--taxidermied? That.. is something he does not wish to ask about, either. Certainly not to someone who was causing large amounts of annoyance to him a few moments ago.

He's mostly over it.]

Like the sea, but a pool instead. I am definitely sorry that I missed it. If there is such a thing another time, perhaps I will take my father to it, if only for my own amusement.

[Yes, he would have dragged Zak into the pool. Because reasons. Also because stupid family outings sound like fun.]

[cawfullyironic]

dude your dads here
lame
dont think nobody else got the shackles of parental domination hangin over em
i can practically hear the anguished lament of freedom lost
reaching out with desperate hands as the cloud of shaving cream descends like a miasma of soul crushing dad jokes and penny loafers
pants straped jauntily about the nipples

[naturaltwohands]

[Drizzt cannot follow more than like a sliver of that.]

Not lame, wonderful. We have been separated by death until now. He's not very overbearing, and I am far too old for him to restrict me. I go as I please. We also love each other dearly.

[Oh, that naivety is showing, Drizzt. At some point, you will find out that Zak still has the right to tell you what to do. Beware.

And then Drizzt cannot help but ask:]

... What exactly is a "dad joke"?

[cawfullyironic]

-=it's a sliver more than some manage=-

pretty sure dads got some sort of superpower that allows them to retain dominion for life
especially good dads that are the best they are at what they do
like they got a masters in fathering from a collegate of esteemed dads
lords of both a stern hand and fatherhood japery

dude dad jokes are like the worst puns in the history of mankind
like the lowest form of amusement reviled by children and revered by their fathers if only because they make their kids squirm in sheer embarassment

[naturaltwohands]

My father is one of those good ones. Perhaps I am doomed, then, in the near future. [Amusement at the idea, at least, goes through him.] He is already plotting to be a better father, I am certain.

... Thankfully, my father knows none of these jokes, and I truly hope he never does.

[cawfullyironic]

shit dude
youre a gonner like for sure
dad jokes aint something you learn they just happen
its like a motherfuckin INSTINCT
i guarantee you theyll just blossom in his mind one day and your life aint never gonna be the same again
always dreading the moment when hes gonna drop a load of fatherly horror all over your unsuspecting face

[naturaltwohands]

[And now he's finally chuckling. CRANKY MOOD BE GONE.]

I look forward to the horror.